Column #256 SCREW YOU!
May 26, 2006
To everybody who gave me grief last night before league: the title of this column is especially for you.
My buddies – Fran Horuzy, Jason Morton and Lionel Eubanks got ALL OVER my ass because I snorted out a last minute substitute and raced to my car before the first dart was thrown.
I’m sorry but I had an obligation.
And obligations are important.
As a dedicated member of the Soul Patrol and given the choice between yet another night of throwing darts or catching the finale of this year’s American Idol competition, I opted to cut out and go home to root on my favorite, Taylor Hicks.
The night before when the gray-haired Hicks squared off in the finals against sultry Katherine McPhee I was one of the 63.4 million Americans (in the words of Idol host Ryan Seacrest, “…more than have ever voted for any President.”) who dialed in to cast a vote for Hicks.
I had no option but to see the thing through.
Perhaps I should feel guilty for blowing off my team – Andrew Kominik, Ray Briton and Chris Kiss. I suppose I would if they hadn’t demolished our competition, captained by Florida’s eighteenth-ranked hot-shot Pat Charniak, without me, 32-7.
If anything I should be embarrassed.
But I don’t feel guilty and while I’m slightly embarrassed I’m not anywhere near as embarrassed as Charniak ought to be! He got whooped, should pack up his darts and start playing jacks with school girls.
I was hardly the only person who put aside what they normally do on Wednesday nights to be a part of the end to this season’s Idolmania. Thirty-two million viewers checked into the show the night before. That’s as many as watched Denver and Dallas in Super Bowl XII.
Even Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice “took time out from matters of war and peace” to cheer catch the Idol finale.
So nope, I don’t feel guilty or embarrassed.
My friends may be pissed but, like I’ve said: SCREW YOU!
You’ll get over it as soon as Katherine McPhee shows up as the new Double Out shot on my website.
From the Field,
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