Dartoid’s Column

February 23, 2007
Column 284
My wife has won the Golden Nose! AGAIN!

This fall I will have been married to my wife, Marylou, for twenty-seven years!

TWENTY-SEVEN!

That would be a quick 11, d8 baby – now BUY ME A BEER!

On average I throw darts three nights a week. And I travel. I’ve …

February 14, 2007
Column 283
Valentines are Fucked! (A Guest Column by Jerry Masterson, age 8)

Valentines are fucked! And while this sentence may be similar in theme to my previous column, “Kissing Girls is Fucked!” – they are both non-debatable points.

I will now relate a story. There is a boy in my class, …

February 1, 2007
Column 282
THAT’S THE WAY TO WRITE IT, Bobby George!!!

The thing about Bobby George’s first book, Bobby Dazzler, My Story, is that you don’t need to read a review to decide whether or not you want to plunk down money to buy the book. Just as you know you gotta watch …

January 16, 2007
Column 281
The Bloodshot Open

In February, 2003 – almost four years ago – I drove from Pennsylvania to Ohio for the fifth annual Columbus Darters Association (CDA) Bloodshot Open. What I remember most about the $5,000 tournament is the drive home. It’s taken me until now to get over the trauma.…

January 1, 2007
Column 280
Darts in the Islamic Republic of Iran

While I had hoped business travel might coincide with the 13th staging of the Asia Pacific Cup in Kuala Lumpur in September, it was not to be. News reached me fast however and I was pleased to learn that my old Filipino friend …

December 28, 2006
Column 279
Dartoid’s 28,000 mile darts road trip

WELCOME to Dartoid’s World, the only column about darts that has been ranked three times consecutively in a row one time right after the other among the top causes of barfing.

Today’s subject is my recent three-week 28,000-mile darts journey from Tampa, Florida to …

December 15, 2006
Column 278
My Friend the Doctor

For several years now, pretty much since the day I learned he existed, I have been corresponding with the so-called “Doctor of Darts” – Patrick Chaplin. Despite a handful of failed attempts to get together, Patrick and I have not met, or even spoken. Yet thanks …

December 1, 2006
Column 277
Cambodia’s Funky Munky and a Child named Mom

The advertisement was bound to catch my eye:

Pie and Darts Night – The Funky Munky
Enjoy a savory selection of pies and seasonal vegetables every Friday evening followed by a traditional British darts tournament.

I was hooked immediately.

I like apple …

November 6, 2006
Column 276
Bulls Eye – The Movie

“Last year, more people were killed by auto accidents, heat stroke, lung cancer and natural causes combined than by any one tomato.”

— Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, 1978

No, this column is not about the cult classic Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, possibly the …

November 1, 2006
Column 275
Federal Express Stole my Darts!

Some things make no sense. Take the price of gasoline in America.

Over the past year the price of a gallon of gasoline has spiked nearly a dollar to over three dollars a gallon. The reasons given: Chinese demand, Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq, …