July 1, 2005
Column 189
The Beat Goes On for Ray Carver!!!
Welcome to Quarter Final Day here at the Profession Darts Corporation’s (PDC) Las Vegas Desert Classic IV where as astonishing as it may seem my reports have not yet been banned by PDC officials. I’ve been on the wire a couple of times though. For example, the other day I used a very, very bad word (poopy head) to describe a former world champion. Again I offer my apology to both the darter in question and everybody at the PDC, including Jesus.
Also, my apology to Caroline Sams, whose name I have misspelled in previous reports. Just blinded by beauty I guess.
Perhaps even more amazing to those in the Mother County is the news that American Ray Carver has made it to the final eight. Despite trouble finding the doubles early on, with a 100 point average per handful Carver tore up the young Elvis look-a-like Adrian Gray in Round Two play to take the biggest step of his life towards his goal of becoming a future world champion (Carver plans to test his skills full-time on the European circuit when he moves to England in 2007). With no disrespect intended to either Carver or his opponent in the Quarter Finals due to commence just hours from now, there is no questioning the fact the Carver drew well. The American will face England’s Wes Newton, the only player (besides Carver) left standing who is not ranked among the top eight in the world. Carver has already knocked off ninth-ranked Denis Ovens so, as the British say, Carver must fancy his chances. My bet is we’ll be seeing the American in the Semi Finals tomorrow.
In the other showdown of most interest to the American crowd, American Darin Young and two times world champion John Part got it on. When the dust settled, experience prevailed and Part advanced as expected into today’s Quarter Finals. Darth Maple, currently ranked number seven in the world, will toe-up against Holland’s Roland Scholten, ranked number four, in a match that should be a real cracker, whatever that frickin’ means.
The first of the other two Quarter Finals battles will feature Colin “Jaws” Lloyd (who dispatched Belgium’s Eric Clarys) against Wayne “Hawaii 501” Mardle (who manhandled Andy Callaby). The final Quarter Final match, perhaps appropriately (since the stage sits on top of the spot where world championship prize fights are often held), will pit two darters who clearly have no love loss between them — the one and only twelve times world champion Phil “The Power” Taylor and Kevin “The Artist” Painter. Had Alex Roy’s darts fallen slightly different in Second Round play, Painter wouldn’t even be on the stage; Roy would. The Power on the other hand, averaged almost 111 in an inspired display over Andy Jenkins.
My money is on Carver, Part, Mardle and Taylor heading to the Semi Finals — with Painter requiring an ambulance when Taylor finishes with him. All of this will continue to be covered live of Sky Television in England. The EXCITING news for Americans is that the action will be shown by delayed broadcast on a date to be announced, just as soon as Sid Waddell’s color commentary can be translated.
In other action in and around Vegas last night, Penn and Teller look-a-likes, Dennis Smith and Mick Manning, performed at the Rio. Doreen Berry signed a contract with Don King. Howie Dircks new kid, Tory, announced her candidacy for the leadership of the British Liberal Party. And I was invited to dinner by Tommy Cox so he could “pick my brain for tips on how to run a darts tournament.”
Afterwards, I continued on the trail of Mr. Rat. Stay tuned. Be afraid!
From the Field,
Dartoid
