July 1, 2003
Column 145
Life Goes On
CONGRATULATIONS to Peter Manley and Stacy Bromberg!
After a week of fierce battle each emerged on top of their respective fields and headed home. Manley hopped a plane back to merry old England. Bromberg hailed a taxi to her house just a few clicks up the road from the MGM Grand Hotel. Each was happy with their winnings.
Well, technically, Bromberg was only about twenty percent as happy with hers. But she was happier than Deta Hedman.
Manley was so overwhelmed that in a moment of weakness (unlike any he showed in his conquering of John Part) that he announced to the world — on stage for all to witness — his decision to get married. He’ll need his $22,000.
And then it was over.
The lights went down in the Grand Arena.
Television sets were clicked back to regular programming.
Some people, like me, even unhooked their cable boxes and returned them to the store. Seriously, who needs them now?
Yes, folks everywhere began to resume their daily routines.
Believe it or not, a whole lot of really important stuff happened in the world while the international darting community was focused on happenings at the Professional Darts Corporation’s (PDC) Las Vegas Desert Classic.
The attributed portions of the following stories are absolutely true.
Scientists in Santiago found a “huge, gelatinous sea creature” washed up on shore. This happened on July 1 and, even though they’ve had a week to identify the thing, they still don’t know what it is. They have “ruled out a sperm whale or giant squid” but are still withholding judgment on what the blob may be.
IMPORTANT NOTE: In a possibly related story, the North Jersey Herald & News reports that darter Howie Dirks is missing. He was last seen watching Fox Sports World with friends and a bucket of buffalo wings.
On July 2, a monkey strolled into a pizza place in Berlin and proceeded to “break a vase… and vandalize the women’s toilet.” Efforts to “pacify the animal with salad and rolls” were unsuccessful. The good news is that the renegade primate was captured and returned safely to its home in, of all places, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Randy Holmes’ wife is pleased to have him back.
Most amazing of all, on July 3 a man went berserk in Helsinki, chopped his wife in half “so she’d fit into a single plastic bag” and then went to the office. Apparently he had missed a crucial double the night before.
So, another successful Desert Classic is history.
Life goes back to normal. The world turns onward.
Let me say that it has been a pleasure to join you for the tournament, LIVE from Las Vegas via Clearwater, Florida.
But Dartoid’s World must now also return to normal. Well, abnormal.
So stay tuned. Watch this space.
Next month I will be publishing my FIRST BOOK. It’s called “Harry Darter and the Sharpening Stone.”
I’m gonna make even more money than Peter Manley just handed to Crissy Howat.
From the Field,
Dartoid
