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Column #648 “Littler Effect” #2 – 15 more newbie questions/comments and “helpful” answers…

Wednesday, January 10, 2024
Column 648
“Littler Effect” #2 – 15 more newbie questions/comments and “helpful” answers (ALL REAL!)

Q.  Any advice on electric scorers?

A.  Turn them on before use.

Q.  Any tips and advice on throwing better darts – like stance, throw, following through etc.?

A.  A good curry DOESN’T help with keeping your shit together at the line.

Q.  What do people think are the main principles of throwing a good dart?

A.  Making sure you let go of the dart.

Q.  Quick question for everybody that bought Luke Littler darts – are you now seeing 100+ averages and hitting 180s all around or have you realized you just wasted money on another set of darts?

A.  Mine are amazing!  I threw 15 maximums in a row.  My averages are way up!  But I can’t get a double two.

Q.  What tips do people have to reduce dart board sounds traveling through walls?

A.  If your darts are going through the wall, you may be throwing too hard.

Q.  Can we ban all 180 posts?  No one cares that you placed 3 darts in the t20. We honestly don’t. No one cares that you started darts 20 minutes ago and have hit 97,000 180s in that time.  Just no.

A.  Sounds like someone shat in your cereal.

Q.  Hello everyone. I want to get started playing darts but don’t know what equipment to buy first.  Any suggestions?

A.  A cue.

Q.  Someone posted the other day asking how long people had played before recording their first 180.   While I had thrown a few over the years in games with friends, I was positive my first “proper” one was 1997.

A. Are you sure it was 1997 and not 1998? I feel we as a group need clarification on this point? It’s important.

Q.  Anybody else say “”F*** you, 3rd dart!” Or is that just me?

A.  Just play the third dart first.

Q.  Hello guys.  I’ve been following darts since the last world championship, so you can say I’m new.  I wonder why all or most darts players are in such poor physical shape?

A.  To get good you need the extra weight to keep yourself steady. Most pros travel to Japan and do the sumo wrestler training for a year.

Q.  How come darts surrounds are as expensive as dart boards?

A.  How much is a moat compared to the price of the castle?  Something is wrong.  On the other hand, the board is to throw darts at, and the surround is to stop your wife killing your when you f*** the wall up, therefore priceless.

Q.  Last night I came in and pissed on my dartboard.  How long will it take to dry out?

A.  Lick the board every hour. When the piss taste is gone, it’s dry.  I’m 57 now and can’t piss that high but could when I was younger.

Q.  Can I spray my dartboard with water?  The holes made by the darts don’t close and it’s a new dartboard.

A.  If you spray the board, it will spout and grow a new board over the course of a week.

Q.  I’m shite at darts and couldn’t hit a fridge door if I was throwing hedgehogs. Any tips?

A.  What sort of hedgehogs are you using?

Q.  How long until my arm stops hurting after starting?  Blimey.

A.  We are talking darts, right?

From the Field.



  • Dartoid

    "Dartoid" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport.