Wednesday, August 27, 2023
Column 627
IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME A DAMN BIT!
Okay, so I just turned fifty years old…
I’m not keeping track of time. Really. I don’t care. I DON’T!
It doesn’t bother me at all. Not a bit.
It DOESN’T!
I feel the same as I did when I was younger, way back yesterday.
Sure, some small things are slightly different. That’s natural.
It’s not like they matter…
For example, this morning I noticed that my razor seemed kind of dull. It turned out to be my toothbrush. So what?
Last night, on the way to league people were yelling at me. So what if it turned out that one of them was on the hood of my car?
In between matches I was sharin’ a joke.
“You know,” I heard myself say as I arrived at the punchline, “…you know, the guy with the funny hat.” My team mates just stared at me.
“Come on, you know. The guy with that hat. You know. That guy!”
So what if it took me five minutes to remember who the guy was (the Pope). It was an honest mental lapse.
So I’m throwin’ 501. And I’m throwin’ pretty strong. I have 82 remaining. Three darts. I miss the red bull by a sliver with my first dart, scoring 25 and immediately stroke and peg the 17. And then – BAM! – just as quickly I close the d16.
“Good game,” I said as I offered my hand to my opponent. Melissa was her name. She was seventeen. Looked good. Yep, she sure did. And she was looking back at me kind of funny-like. Almost starry-eyed. Hmmm.
So, I repeated myself. “Good game, Melissa. Good darts. Nice shirt.”
And then she spoke. “I think you meant to throw at tops. You still have 8 remaining.”
SO WHAT! I’m no mathematician.
Everybody makes a minor subtraction error from time to time.
Later, during my cricket match one of my flights slipped off.
SO WHAT, if I had to admit I couldn’t see well enough to slide it back on?
It was dark, damnit!
SO WHAT if I then threw ALL THREE DARTS at the 16, which it turned out both my opponent and I had already closed.
I goofed. That’s all.
THAT’S ALL!
This shit could happen to anybody.
I’m not concerned. Really. I don’t care that I turned fifty.
I DON’T!
It doesn’t bother me at all. Not a bit.
Not the slightest little bit…
The only thing that concerns me is that this was written TWENTY YEARS AGO!
From the Field,
Dartoid
