Monday, December 7, 2019
Column 582
The mysterious disappearance of the Old Dart Coach!
As many have heard by now Howie Reed aka the “Old Dart Coach” (to darts fans around the world), the “Manor Lord” (to boxing fans around the world) and “Mr. Wonderful” (to more women than even Wilt Chamberlain has known) has been in the hospital.
Since November 1, Howie has been the most popular resident of Mountain View Hospital in Las Vegas. He had surgery this week, is doing well, is back to full wit and humor and will be heading home by the first of the week. (Translation: the nurses are kicking him out.)
There are rumors. This is to set the record straight…
Howie did not have a heart attack.
He did not have a stroke.
He does not have cancer.
It is also not true that he had penile enlargement surgery (although apparently a few lady friends were hopeful). He did not have a sex change operation (so there’s still hope for Caitlyn Jenner).
But make no mistake: Howie has been very sick. But he’s now on the road to recovery. Soon, Mr. Wonderful will be doing wonderfully…
…and back to full speed, hunched over his keyboard again reminding us how much he loves the ADO and regaling us with stories – like the time he threw an uppercut that sent Thailand’s Vichai Govindani flying from the stage at the Pattaya Open.
All of Howie’s friends and followers, darts and boxing alike, should know he is going to be fine.
Beware world!
From the Field,
Dartoid
