Dartoids World

Column #471 An Open Letter to Miles Gallagher

Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Column 471
An Open Letter to SR Gallagher, Miles, R – Ship 03 Div 335 – 3600 Ohio Street – Great Lakes, IL 60088-3156 

Dear Miles:

Your dad says I can’t send you beer or pornography so it’s his fault you are just receiving this boring letter…

It’s amazing to me the time that has passed since we met and I put the whoop ass on your little four foot self. But honestly, I was impressed that day with far more than your darts.  I had no doubt you would become the man you have become. I am truly proud of you.

A long time ago I was a cadet at West Point.  I lasted 3 months, 13 days, and 11 hours before I gave my final salute.  The last man I faced as my discharge papers were being signed was at the time a major.  You’ve heard of him – the late Norman Schwarzkopf.  My point?  I’m old.

Besides how to shine my shoes – and a Code of Honor that I still live by today – in my short time at the Academy I learned one very important thing…

One day we were boxing (I was a swimmer and didn’t know shit about boxing and I weighed about 150 at the time).  I was put in the ring against a giant fucker from Louisiana.  He weighed about 225.  I got my ass handed to me.

Later that day back in the barracks I was complaining to my buddies about how unfair this was.  My platoon leader explained that in the field, in combat (and in life), I was destined to meet many people tougher, faster, stronger, and smarter than me. He told me to suck it up – to work harder and longer – and if I did I would prevail.  I guess I should have listened – as I had to fight the same guy a couple of weeks later and got my ass kicked again!

Seriously, it was an important life lesson.  I learned that sometimes you have to lose to win.  And that you have to work hard to keep on winning, whatever the endeavor.  I know that you already know this and that’s why I have no doubt you will stomp me next time we head to the line – and that you will continue to make your father, brother Shannon, family, friends and country proud as you pursue your military career.

You should have won our match Miles.  We both know this.  But you lost!  Our deal was that, should you lose, you would have to wear a Barack Obama campaign t-shirt for the rest of the day.  You resisted.

So the way I see it I won twice – because Obama’s now your Commander in Chief!  He’s your boss.  You ain’t got no choice!

Work hard Miles!  You can do it.  You’re going to be a great success.  You already are in my book.

Your friend,


P.S. I heard the babes love men in uniform so I doubt you need the pornography anyway!


  • Dartoid

    "Dartoid" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport.