Dartoid

March 1, 2007
Column 287
Hey Dummy! We’re Talkin’ about a Darts Light!

I realize this may be a bit incircumspect but, what the hell – this is frickin’ Dartoid’s World, so I’m gonna just put it out there.

Had Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan been Jewish and Austin, Texas’ inventor Scott Harrison been alive 500 …

February 28, 2007
Column 286
Could Cricket have saved the World Series of Darts?

The question has been posed: Would the World Series of Darts have been successful had the choice of game been cricket instead of 501?

I agree that cricket is America’s game, that there is more strategy involved in cricket than 501, …

February 27, 2007
Column 285
Want to Swap your Wife?

When word leaked out in October, 2005 that England’s Michael Davies – the bloke who brought us Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and Wife Swap – had just closed a deal to air the World Series of Darts, I thought, like, well, that’s pretty …

February 23, 2007
Column 284
My wife has won the Golden Nose! AGAIN!

This fall I will have been married to my wife, Marylou, for twenty-seven years!

TWENTY-SEVEN!

That would be a quick 11, d8 baby – now BUY ME A BEER!

On average I throw darts three nights a week. And I travel. I’ve …

February 14, 2007
Column 283
Valentines are Fucked! (A Guest Column by Jerry Masterson, age 8)

Valentines are fucked! And while this sentence may be similar in theme to my previous column, “Kissing Girls is Fucked!” – they are both non-debatable points.

I will now relate a story. There is a boy in my class, …

February 1, 2007
Column 282
THAT’S THE WAY TO WRITE IT, Bobby George!!!

The thing about Bobby George’s first book, Bobby Dazzler, My Story, is that you don’t need to read a review to decide whether or not you want to plunk down money to buy the book. Just as you know you gotta watch …

January 16, 2007
Column 281
The Bloodshot Open

In February, 2003 – almost four years ago – I drove from Pennsylvania to Ohio for the fifth annual Columbus Darters Association (CDA) Bloodshot Open. What I remember most about the $5,000 tournament is the drive home. It’s taken me until now to get over the trauma.…

January 1, 2007
Column 280
Darts in the Islamic Republic of Iran

While I had hoped business travel might coincide with the 13th staging of the Asia Pacific Cup in Kuala Lumpur in September, it was not to be. News reached me fast however and I was pleased to learn that my old Filipino friend …

December 28, 2006
Column 279
Dartoid’s 28,000 mile darts road trip

WELCOME to Dartoid’s World, the only column about darts that has been ranked three times consecutively in a row one time right after the other among the top causes of barfing.

Today’s subject is my recent three-week 28,000-mile darts journey from Tampa, Florida to …

December 15, 2006
Column 278
My Friend the Doctor

For several years now, pretty much since the day I learned he existed, I have been corresponding with the so-called “Doctor of Darts” – Patrick Chaplin. Despite a handful of failed attempts to get together, Patrick and I have not met, or even spoken. Yet thanks …