Monday, May 11, 2026
Column 715
Dartoid’s Book – Get It While It’s HOT!
I went hunting the other day…
Not for trouble (though that has a way of finding me), and not for a d16 (though that continues to elude me), but for a book by my late friend George Silberzahn – a man whose words, like a well-thrown dart, tended to land exactly where they were supposed to.
Somewhere along the winding backroads of eBay, where a grilled cheese sandwich allegedly bearing the image of the Virgin Mary once sold for $28,000 and a lock of Justin Bieber’s hair sold for $40,668, I stumbled across something that made me stop mid-scroll, squint, and think HOLY CRAP!
There it was. A paperback of one of my books: It’s a Funny Game, Darts. Life.
Listed at $1,906.99!
Now, I’ve always believed in the power of positive thinking, but this felt like a bit of a stretch. I mean, I like the book. My mother liked the book. A handful of readers have even admitted, under pressure, that they liked the book.
But NINETEEN HUNDRED AND ALMOST SEVEN DOLLARS!
At that price, the book should read itself to you… in a British accent… while pouring you a pint! Maybe it comes with a set of solid gold Phil Taylor darts and a John Lowe-autographed barstool from a smoky pub in Chesterfield.
I clicked on it again, just to be sure it wasn’t a typo. Maybe $19.06? Even $190.69 I could sort of wrap my head around if the seller had recently inhaled something festive. Nope. $1,906.99. Five stars too. One review. Which, if I’m being honest, I’m pretty sure I wrote.
Now, I’m not saying don’t buy it. In fact, I strongly encourage it. This may be the greatest investment opportunity since someone first looked at a dartboard and thought, “You know what this needs? Wires.”
Imagine the resale value. Today, $1,906.99. Tomorrow? Who knows. We could be talking about retirement planning. A modest villa somewhere. Let’s be clear – if this is the going rate, I have several copies in a box somewhere that I am now viewing in an entirely different light. Not as books, mind you, but as a diversified portfolio.
Of course, there is the small matter that nobody has purchased the one listed. But that’s a technicality. A mere detail. The market is the market, and right now the market is saying, loudly and with a straight face, that my book is a luxury item.
So, if you’ve ever thought about picking up a copy, now might be the time. Get in on the ground floor. Before the price goes up. Or – and this is just a hunch – down to something that resembles reality. All it takes is one person. One collector. One individual who says, “You know what I need? A Dartoid paperback at the price of a slightly used jet ski.” And boom. History.
So, here’s my advice: if you’ve ever thought about picking up a copy, now is the time. Not later. Not when cooler heads prevail and this thing settles back into the realm of earthly pricing. Now.
Get it while it’s HOT!
Stay thirsty, my friends,
Dartoid
