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Wednesday, January 1, 2025
Column 676
Happy New Year! For 2025, I resolve…
…to spend more time with my wife – to achieve this I will reduce my nights out throwing darts from five to four. On second thought, I think I’ll just take her to the bar with me.
I resolve to drink less Budweiser – to accomplish this I will switch to Coors.
I resolve to chalk more often. Oh, screw that.
I resolve to be sensitive and politically correct in all that I write and do. To accomplish this, I will jettison the words “whore,” “bullshit” and “scum-sucking bastard” from my vocabulary. Oh, fuck that.
Finally, I must look into the crystal ball. Unfortunately, the big apple ball in Times Square is but moments from dropping. I therefore do not have the time required to fully consider what my life and my darts will be like in the year ahead.
So, what I will do is take one dart in my hand. I will step to the line just to the other side of the room in which I am writing. The possibilities for a bright, or not so bright, future range from 60 to a big fat zip. Are you with me? Here we go.
Okay…
I’m at the line…
I’m ready…
The ball is dropping… we’re seconds from the New Year. A brand-new slate. League’s startin’ up again in a few days. The future’s gonna be mine, baby.
I set. I stroke. Release…
Oh shit.
From the Field,
Dartoid
