Dartoid

August 1, 2006
Column 269
Wimmenfolk, Rumpelmint and DARTS in the Ozarks

I don’t know ‘bout ya’ll but when I think of the Ozarks what pops into my noggin is hooters, and I done don’t mean that place with the chicken wings. No siree, Bob.

What I mean is Hooterville. Don’t nobody know fer shore …

July 17, 2006
Column 268
Philadelphia’s Bill Davis

Engraved above a mirror that hangs in my bedroom is a quote that has special significance to me: “Do the right thing every doggone day of your life.”

That’s my guidepost.

— Bill Davis
__________________________________________________________________________

Nickname: Bill … I think.
Date of Birth: March 6, 1959
Place …

July 14, 2006
Column 267
John Part is BACK (and so is the Asteroid!)

Sunday, July 2
As puzzled scientists continued to peer into their telescopes and, calculate, recalculate and debate the final destination of the giant mountain-sized asteroid, now called 2000 XP14, hurtling its way towards Planet Earth, in Las Vegas, unaware of the …

July 13, 2006
Column 266
A Royal Suck-arse Day for the British!

Saturday, July 1
Today was one of those days where those of the British persuasion wished they had a sack full of Mulligans. Only one thing went right for the Mother Country and that’s that they didn’t get knocked out of the World …

July 12, 2006
Column 265
Tommy Cox Disqualifies Gary Spedding and BANS Yoko Ono!

Friday, June 30
The World Cup quarter finals commenced today after a brief hiatus negotiated by PDC tournament director Tommy Cox “so the LVDC might be permitted to proceed undistracted.” The break was to last through the weekend but World Cup …

July 11, 2006
Column 264
US Defeats UK. Osama Blows up his Penis!

Thursday, June 29
Today is John Part’s fortieth birthday which in Canadian years means he is fifty. Part celebrated by wearing his own trousers and then seeing off Dutchman Roland Scholten in straight sets to move into tomorrow’s quarter finals, where he …

July 10, 2006
Column 263
Part Advances. Asteroid Taks Aim at London.

Wednesday, June 28
Darters dragged into the Mandalay tournament hall today following Stacy Bromberg’s fundraiser last night for the Make-a-Wish Foundation at CD’s Sports Lounge (3025 E. Desert Inn). Over 200 darters gathered for the annual event including John Part, Ray Carver, Paul …

July 7, 2006
Column 262
Can Superman Stop the Asteroid?

Tuesday, June 27
Chris White, Dave Kelly, Bob Gargan, Monty Broadway, Dan Zimmerman, Paul Lim and Johnny Kuczynski came close today and Roger Carter came closer (falling 4-2 to Welshman Barrie Bates after jumping to a 2-0 lead) but at the end of the day …

July 7, 2006
Column 261
Muffins!!!

Monday, June 26
Philadelphia perfectionist Bill Davis was the only American to survive the day, earning his way to the stage on Wednesday with a 4-3 victory over Alabama’s Roger “Taz” Carter. No other American made it through (although Marilyn Popp and Stacy Bromberg came close for the ladies) …

July 5, 2006
Column 260
A Review of Las Vegas Desert Classic 5

“A man in Las Vegas ate 47 grilled-cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes. A few weeks ago, the same guy ate 50 hot dogs. And guess what? Here’s the best part, girls. He’s still single.”

— David Letterman

No, Reggie Horak wasn’t in …