Dartoids World


Thursday, August 6, 2015
Column HR146

An email arrived from Firth of Tom which should never be confused with the Firth of Clyde.  Everyone knows that the latter “encloses the largest and deepest coastal waters in the British Isles.”   The Firth of Tom lives in Ireland, the land of Guinness – home of the six-course Irish gourmet meal consisting of five boiled potatoes and a pint.

After establishing that there is a language difference (“I sometimes have a little difficulty understanding your ‘lingo'”), Firth of Tom gets to his point…

“But when you say something like, ‘Even Stevie Wonder knows that today’s PDC averages are bogus when compared with those of yesteryear – because of the larger triples and doubles. Toss in better equipment, less travel and more money and it all makes the comparison apples and oranges…’ well, I am not so sure about that in its entirety.”

After conceding that the triples and doubles are bigger, Firth of Tom presents the premise that, “averages are higher because of all the amount of practice they have to put in, to achieve the standard they are at, in the PDC as opposed to the BDO, who are amateurs and maybe a few semi-pros, apart from the few elite.”

The Old Dart Coach – as a somewhat has-been athlete and mediocre dart player – knows that “practice” can only take a person so far. The practice regimen of Phil Taylor is well known, but that isn’t the secret of his success. His ability is nurtured with practice.  Taylor didn’t dominate against Lowe, Bristow, Wilson and Anderson. He blossomed after they were over the hill. Some also forget that both Raymond van Barneveld and John Part laid a couple of whippings on Taylor.

Firth of Tom also has concerns with the “less travel” aspect of the ODC’s position. He writes, “I’m not sure if I can agree with that either, as the PDC play many competitions ‘behind closed doors’ and now they are playing in Asia and Australasia. That seems quite a lot of travel to me. I think your comment on this is a bit too generalistic.”

Firth of Tom has a good point, as the ODC was less than articulate with his “travel aspect.” Bad ODC. Not for the first time.  What the ODC should have written was “format” rather than travel.  In the past, players would go to a tournament and have to play singles, open doubles, mixed double and team.  Also, when playing American tournaments visitors had to play ’01 and cricket just to make a little cash.  The standing around with uncertainty was also a minus. Today’s pros play ’01 singles. Period. Full stop.

The North American version of the PDC is the Championship Dart Circuit (CDC). Their last two events called the Champion Darts Challonge #5 and #6 was held at Blueberry Hill in St. Louis.  Old timers remember Blueberry Hill as a favorite stop on the “old’ ADO tour.  It included the second biggest 301 event in darts, trailing only the North American.

The ODC, as is his want, is the master of drivel and nuances. Astute readers will notice that the latest CDC event was called a “Challonge.” Notice the spelling of Challenge.  In addition, the winner is called “Supreme Champion” with the runner-up “Worthy Advisory.” Come on guys, you do so many things well – how about knocking off the “cutesy crap”?

One thing they do well is learn from missteps. Saturday’s event, won by Darin Young, went on and on and on. The problem caused David Fatum to post, “Today I am so disappointed. Not just in my play but (by) this event. I don’t get it. 5.5 hrs and two matches. Did not know I was playing ado event… thought it was the CDC?”

No problem on Sunday. Well done. Fatum lost on Saturday to Timmy “Don’t Look” Nicoll, 6-2. Nicoll would lose in the semis to John Part, 6-3.  Eventfully Part would lose to Darin Young, 6-4. One feature on Saturday was a “silent auction” of players, which the old Dallas Classic used to call a “Calcutta.”  Great idea. Betting and darts. On Sunday, Leonard Gates got it done with a 6-4 win over D.J. Sayre.

Gates’ next stop, as for most all of those who competed at the CDC events in St. Louis, will be at DARTSLIVE Stage 4 in Canada.  Gates won Stage 3 in France over Paul Lim. Lim took an early 2-0 lead.  Throwing second, Gates took the cricket leg moving within one. He added the 701 leg to draw level then won the cork and the 5th leg for the victory. Lim might have said…

“Flocking American.”

This will be the only North American stop for a DARTSLIVE World Event this year. Last year’s North American stop was held in Las Vegas at the Riviera, which has since closed.

Many times, darters are so engrossed in their sport that they are unaware of what’s going on in the outside world. Toeing the Oche is here to help…

Recently, Cecil the lion was shot and killed by a dentist for sport. The event caused almost universal condemnation.  The one exception was Frank Buck, a spokesman for Zebra Lives Matter, who issued the following statement…

“Shit happens.”

In a possibly related story, a dentist was shot dead at the Marquis Lounge in San Bernardino, California during Tuesday night’s karaoke.  He was singing…

“The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”


The Marquis Lounge is famous to “Old Goat” darters.  Among its employee alumni are America’s only World Cup singles winner, the late Nicky Virachkul, and international dart super-star, Paul Lim. Lots of darters got down the road thanks to owner Dennis Hassett, who sold the Marquis on June 1. He’s one of the good guys of darts.

(Editor’s note: The preceding was NOT a paid plug for the Marquis Lounge. Or so we were told.)

The “‘joy tip” of the day comes from Alaska: “Your troubles can’t be solved in a bottle of wine or a pint of beer. But it’s never hard to look.”

Stay thirsty my friends.


  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.

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