Dartoids World


Thursday, August 17, 2022
Column HR365

The world, especially sport, has transitioned from rewarding excellence to kotowing to the loudest minority.  Darts has not escaped this rapidly-spreading WOKE virus.  Common sense the only known vaccine.

Like many, the World Darts Federation (WDF) grabs its ankles asking for neither a cocktail before nor a cigarette after.  Decisions are many, made with nary a scintilla of common sense – they just grease the squeaky wheel.

The Old Dart Coach recently wrote, “The WDF may be faced with a conundrum.  The New Zealand WDF Gold women’s singles was won by Victoria Monaghan, a transsexual (MtF).  Does Monaghan play in the Lakeside Championships against men or women?”

The question was made moot.  The WDF announced that Monaghan will compete against ladies based on WDF gender rules.  “Transgender refers to individuals who have been assigned one gender (male or female) at birth but identify with the other gender.”


Dear WDF: a baby with a “stick shift” is a boy.  The one with automatic transmission is a girl.   

Then, continuing from WDF gender rules, “Male-to-female (MtF) transgendered persons, to compete as a female, must submit documentation from a medical practitioner that gender reassignment has been ongoing for at least one year.”  That does rule out walking up one morning singing Shaina Twains “Feel Like a Women” as a qualification.    

Presenting a letter from Dr. Pepper might suffice or maybe even Dr. Immense Balls, who allegedly just operated on Peter Wright for a gall stone.

The WDF rules were established in October of 2017.  The banning of Anastasia Dobromyslova was based on documents found where the sun don’t shine.

The WDF decision is not good for Women’s darts.  How many dart playing women have gone to Dr. Pepper to have a “stick” added so they can play against men?  The answer – the same as the number of “Biden Builds Better” ball caps seen daily.

Barry Hearn, PDC President, has been successful for one reason.  He tells it like it is, unfettered by the usual “CYA” boiler plate useless babble.

Hearn said, “I always think you don’t do favors.  They won’t last and have to be repaid.  It’s a meritocracy.”

Maybe he was referring to the recent Women’s event at the Matchplay.  With few exceptions, the standard of play was not at the level of a good top league male player.  That’s unacceptable for “cheeks on the chairs” or eyeballs on the TV.

That “favor” to the Women’s Series is on the precipice of ejection from the good ship PDC.  “How many are going to play in the Women’s Series next year?  It needs to be significantly up to justify the investment, it’s as simple as that.  It’s nothing to do with women.”

The loudest wheel, the demand for more women’s events, got the grease – now it must roll.  Women now must support the series with numbers to make it profitable.  Obliquely addressing the PDC decision to feature Fallon Sherrock Hearn said, You can’t run an industry on one person, or two people, or three people.  I need to see the same demand for places in the Women’s Series as there is for Q School.”

Not going to happen.  Enjoy the Women’s Series this year, or else.

Hearn added“I don’t care if they’re black, white, fat, thin, Christian, Muslim – I wonder, can they play?  That’s the only thing we ask for.  We’re there for everybody but you’ve got to be able to play.” 

Does this open the door for darters like Victoria Monaghan to enter the women’s series?

The skies were shinning for Larry “The Bald Eagle” Butler when he managed to annex CDC event #9 in throwback fashion.  It was Butler’s 17th CDC win which entrenched him as an “all-time’ great.  He’s USA’s Paul Lim.  Like the Timex the ODC baked in the Thanksgiving turkey, Butler could “take a licking and keep(s) on ticking.”

On his way to a 7-3 win over Danny Baggish, Butler took down John Norman Jr. (7-0) and Jason “Let’s Go” Brandon (6-2).  Against Jeff Springer (top 16) Butler fell behind 2-5 in the race to 6.  The Eagle took flight with 4 on a trot where Springer missed 4 match darts in the 10th leg.

There was a grey cloud over Alex Spelman coming off his $10,000 ESPN win in the Bullshooter Invitational.  He would reach the finals in CDC event #7 and #8, losing both.  He lost to a pair of Canadians – Jacob Taylor (7-2) and David Cameron (7-3).  The A-Z Darts CDC events conclude on September 2 in Virginia.

The sun shone brightly on the CDC’s telecast on PDC TV.  The production was professional.  The event was presented as sport missing none of the actual play.   The only negative was the commentators of whom the ODC’s highly critical (the ODC’s bona fides include ESPNs first dart telecast, the Challenge of Champions, with Chris Berman and the Canadian Open on TSN (Canada’s ESPN).

The sound emanating from the computer was “Not Ready for Prime Time.” Specifically, the commentators were unprepared.  Their primary role should have been to enhance the viewer’s experience with information and insight.  They offered neither.  With nothing to offer, they babbled on uncontrollably.

Screaming at the computer “STFU” didn’t work.  The lady referee was brilliant.  That one’s for you, babe.

Like the climate in Las Vegas the weather for ladies darts can change in the blink of an eye.  The ladies that might be frowning could take a page from the stage play “Bye Bye Birdie.”

Gray skies are gonna clear up, 

Put on a happy face; 

Brush off the clouds and cheer up, 

Put on a happy face. 

A better solution would be to stand up to the WDF by refusing to play against “transitioned men” – then support the PDC’s Women’s Series.  Take those two steps while singing the Helen Reddy women’s anthem…

I am woman, hear me roar 

In numbers too big to ignore 

And I know too much to go back an’ pretend 

‘Cause I’ve heard it all before 

And I’ve been down there on the floor 

No one’s ever gonna keep me down again 

And finally…

On his 60th birthday, the Rolling Stones Keith Richards was offered baby turtle.  He asked how long they live?  Told 85 years, he politely declined the offer saying, “That’s the trouble with pets – you always outlive them.”

Stay thirsty my friends.




  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.