Dartoids World


Wednesday, August 24, 2022
Column HR366

What started as dinner conversation among four old geezers then affirmed by two fair darting damsels, Lisa Farrell and Connie Sroka, has become a reality.  On January 20-21, 2023, in Las Vegas, Nevada, at the Tuscany Hotel/Casino, the First Annual “Darters of the Golden Age (1975-2000) Reunion” will hold forth.  Same-same as the Las Vegas Open.

“The Committee” (Lisa Farrell, Connie Sroka, Jerry Feather, Russ “The Legend” Lopez, Ron Deane, David Miller and Wayne Roewer) would like to thank ADO VP Matt Stoner for his helping hand.  Jen Mounts of A-Z Darts pitched in as well as A-Z owner John Baxter, a player in the Golden Age of Darts.

Preliminary plans call for a Friday evening adjustment hour (or hours) with golden elixir and aiming fluid available.  Saturday evening may feature a fun dart event run by Jerry Feather which may be a chance for revenge on the stars of the Golden Age that had us signing cards and chalking.

Contact Dartoid’s World or message the Old Dart Coach with your name and email address if you are likely to attend.

Every human person, except van Gough, is familiar with the saying, “revenge is a dish best served cold” (from the 1843 novel “Memoirs of Matilda”).  The author, Eugène Sue, obliviously never played sport.

In sport “revenge is a dish served hot with as many people in attendance as possible.”  In cricket (like baseball, but different) when a bowler unleashes a googly that leaves the batsman flummoxed as the wicket falls the bowler may be stone-faced.  Inside he’s doing the “Macarena” with the same enthusiasm as The Old Dart Coach does “YMCA”.

If anyone thinks that Michael van Gerwen isn’t enjoy 2022 by “sticking” it to other players, then he or she is sadly mistaken.

The winner of 84 professional and 3 World Championship titles had been written off by many players and dart “experts”.  He got his first 2022 “in your face” win when he took down Joe Cullen 11-10 for the Premier League title.  In the Matchplay he came from behind to lay a hiding on Gerwyn Price 18-14 after trailing most of the way.

Recently, van Gerwen annexed the Queensland Darts Masters taking out Gerwyn Price who, true to form, blamed the crowd – as he blew a 4-1 lead, losing 8-5.  That 4-1 lead came by way of 18, 18, 24 and 17 darts.

But, alas, it wasn’t the crowd but Mr. van Gerwyn who – with three legs of 14, a 12-darter and two 11s – was responsible for Price’s defeat.

Price is the current “Welsh Whine” and should replace Gary Anderson’s “Scotch Whine” should Anderson hang ’em up.

Aussie Simon Whitlock is on somewhat of a “Revenge Tour” himself.  The former “Lord of the T70 Check” has presumably resided the past few years in the Witness Protection Program.  When he emerged, he got beat like “Gramma did the carpets after the relatives left.”  Then, World Cup 2022 came to the rescue.

Whitlock went 4-0 in the knockout rounds (taking out Kim Huybrechts (4-3) averaging 101.79 and James Wade (4-0) shooting 103.66 on the way to the World Cup.

Whitlock got his comeuppance at the first event Down Under losing to Gerwyn Price 6-5.  Last week, in Wollongong, Whitlock got the “W” over Michael van Gerwen 6-5 after MvG missed a dart from T20 for the win.  Whitlock would lose the next round to Joe Cullen 6-2.  Regardless, he’s back.

If anyone deserves a “Revenge Tour” it’s Fallon Sherrock.  The fair lass has been battered from “pillar to post” in the “unsocial” media – especially by one disgusting individual who equates filthy nicknames and gutter language with intelligence or knowledge.

He uses such language to disguise the fact that he doesn’t know “Sweet Fanny Adams” about darts.  With (dis)respect to Ms. Sherrock he states, “I don’t blame her for taking the invites, but she doesn’t belong – taking the place of a tour player.”

Including Fallon Sherrock in PDC events is a marketing decision.  The PDC giveth and the PDC taketh.

His theory (“people are tired of seeing her play”) has no basis of fact.  Sherrock notched a win in the New South Wales Dart Masters.  She showed skill and nerves when she took down local Mal Cuming 6-5.  Sherrock trailed 1-3, then took the decider with T24, T, T25 to leave 36 after trailing 140 to 261 in the leg.

Women’s darts are different from the men.  Yes, there is a difference.  To judge a women’s game against the males is moronic.

The Kiwi Nation may be trying for revenge by having a verbal go at Jai Monaghan (aka Victoria Monaghan)…

Monaghan, born in England, moved to Kiwi Land with a partner.  Jai competed on the New Zealand Tour and was a nationally-ranked player before giving up the sport in 2018.

Monaghan then showed up to play as a women in the New Zealand Open only to be told “thanks but no thanks.”  Pressure was applied as New Zealand Darts folded like a sofa bed.  Magically, Monaghan was included in the New Zealand Open Women’s draw.  During the playing of the Open, which Monaghan won, some in the crowd jeered and heckled.

Monaghan said, “Being who I am, it made it a little bit more difficult, because there were a few voiced opinions there not believing that I should be there.  It’s a little tarnished with a few of the comments that were made, but it’s still sinking in.  I don’t think I’ve quite realized how big and significant this is.”

Always the martyred Saint.

Unlike Joan of Arc, Monaghan isn’t defending a nation – only trying to force her views on others.

At the Australia Open it was overheard, “Monaghan was standing in a women’s loo cubicle doing the business and saying ‘I still enjoy having sex with a woman.'”  Doubles a chance for an encounter.

This experience in literary greatness started by quoting the author (full name: Marie Joseph Eugène Sue) of “Memoirs of Matilda”- who may have something in common with Monaghan.

Bug on the wall during the assigning ritual after birth: “Girl, boy, boy, girl.”  Call it a draw.

And finally, Russ “The Legend” Lopez has been known on occasion (any!) to bet on horse races.  Last week, at Saratoga Race Course a horse named “Legends Can’t Die” was running with odds of 9-1…

The Dart Legend bet a five spot on the nose of the horse “Legends”.  A telephone call to the ODC provided a play-by-play of the race which included the Dart Legend saying “he’s going, going… to get beat!”

It was revenge against horse racing – as “Legends Can’t Die” won by a whisker paying $21.20.

Stay thirsty my friends.


  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.