Howie Reed’s Column

The Greek scholar Archimedes who lived from 287 BC to 212 BC proudly proclaimed “Eureka!” which means, literally, “I’ve found it!” Why he didn’t just say “I found it” is lost in the antiquity. The late American President John F. Kennedy use to say “Let me say this about that.” It was left up to the late Don Adams, as Maxwell Smart Agent 86, to ask “Would you believe?” None of these men were in the conference center of the Tropicana Hotel on the Las Vegas Strip for Monday’s Players Championship nor were there any Elvis impersonators, which is a first. So it was left to others to put these words into the mouth of the days champion Scot Gary Anderson.

Cicero wrote: “As you sow, so shall you reap.” That would be Marcus Tullius Cicero, one of Rome’s greatest orators and prose stylist who lived from January 3, 106 BC until December 7, 43 BC. He could have been writing about Mr. Phil Taylor’s first two days and the 5 day World Series of Darts Festival in Las Vegas.

On a scorching hot Las Vegas mid-day the first dart was thrown in anger for the new World Series of Darts Festival. The clever Yanks had lured the wily Brits into a game of cricket. While named for the English game that is more sleep inducing than a speech by Al Gore North America’s game of cricket darts is a spellbinder. It takes guile, skill, nerves of steel, the mind of a grand master chess player or the ability to hit a lot of triples. On this day triples won the day as Mr. Phil Taylor ruled the day taking the final 3-2 after being down 2-nil against Mark Walsh. For being the champion Taylor took in $6,023.60 which in Las Vegas is a nice day’s work. Walsh as the runner-up banked $3,011.80. It was a typical Phil Taylor performance as he dropped only 4 legs throughout the day and 2 of those in the final going 21-4 on the day.

With the Las Vegas Desert Classic now just a memory, on Saturday the PDC will launch its latest venture into the Las Vegas and North American market. The Tropicana World Series of Darts Festival (doesn’t that just roll off your tongue?) kicks off a 5-day run with a combined prize fund of $200,000. Unlike past visits, there will be no live TV back to the Motha Country which means probably no grand over-produced entrances with over-served fans in silly hats or blaring music. The blaring music would be a respite from the damn blaring vuvuzela horns that have made watching the World Cup an effort. This would be the normal place that The Old Dart Coach would toss in some gratuitous remarks about English Footbol. He has declined the offer as they seem to be beating themselves up “quite nicely thank you.”

The Old Dart Coach reminds us that in six days the “Man” created the world which included the earth which included both man, women and declined to state. On the 7th day, according to the Good Book, he rested. In the same amount of time Phil Taylor in a more spectacular fashion annexed the Premier League title and the UK Open. Like the “other man” Taylor rested which accounts for his absence from a pair of PDC ProTour events in Barnsely.

There are times in a dart player’s life when everything is perfect. Every triple pulls your dart like a magnet as doubles are falling like the stock market, Jupiter aligns with Mars, you’ve found the Big Rock Candy Mountain right after you’ve hit the lotto after taking a call from your “soul mate fantasy.” In the words of Huey Lewis and the News, from their Sports CD, “This Is It!”

“A bunch of the boys were whooping it up in the Malamute saloon” is the opening line of the poem by Robert Service titled “The Shooting of Dan McGrew.” Fast forward to May 23, 2010 and the Wembley Arena where a bunch of darts fans were ready to whoop it up for the 2010 Premier League Finals. Funny thing happened – a power outage delayed the event 24 hour’s. That held the crowd to only 2,000 which doesn’t include a nationwide TV audience. Next door at Wembley Stadium England was laying a 3-1 “green card check” on Mexico in a friendly prior to soccer’s World Cup coming in June. When things got going in the Arena “The Power” got going full blast.

It came with the heading as the “Penultimate Night of Darts” to be played at Newcastle. The Old Dart Coach had no idea what “penultimate” meant. He did know it was set-up night for the final night of Premier League Play. With Phil Taylor secured in the top spot five players were still in the hunt for three spots. The real prize was to finish second in the final standings so as dodge Taylor in the semi’s at Wembley. To quote Bill Shakespeare, the night was “Much to do About Nothing.” At night’s end there were still 5 players in the hunt for 3 spots. Ronnie Baxter missed 8 match darts leading 7-5 to present Adrian Lewis a draw at 7 keeping Lewis’ slim playoff hopes alive.

Some, but not the Old Dart Coach, have missed the nuance – that Phil Taylor’s demeanor is totally unlike Tiger Woods, who the ODC argues couldn’t carry Taylor’s Unicorns. A much better comparison would be between Taylor and Phil Mickelson. Both always put a positive spin on what others would consider a less than positive result. After the Masters, Tiger’s “snarky” TV interview showed the true person. Compare that to when Mickelson blew the US Open on the final two holes. Difference? Brass and Tungsten.