Dartoid’s Column

December 1, 2000
Column 96
Baseball Players are Wussies!

Next to the Bush/Gore election results in Palm Beach County the most frightening set of numbers I’ve seen recently are: “36-38-40”. No wonder Bill Clinton chases other women.

The most impressive, albeit obvious, statistic in years however, has got to be the one recently published by …

November 1, 2000
Column 95
“I’m Going to Toledo!”

If you’ve seen the film Summer of ’42 or if you went to high school before the days when a good-night kiss and sex were essentially interchangeable, you will appreciate the range of emotions I felt recently when I, sort of like Hermie in the Summer …

October 1, 2000
Column 94
Professor Poopypants and the Royal North American Open!

Like many of you, over the years I have picked up a book here or there and gradually accumulated quite a little library of reading about our sport. I now have all six books that have ever been written about darts. Without …

September 1, 2000
Column 93
Dear Debbie (from Tulsa?)

Dear Debbie:

I recently received your nasty little letter. So you’re from Tulsa, eh?

Nice place.

“You suck,” it began. “You’re sexist. What you write is insulting to your readers and, besides, you don’t know squat about darts.” At first, of course, I myself was insulted. …

August 1, 2000
Column 92
Bucky Bakalac (1951-2000)

“MY DREAM IS TO BE REMEMBERED AS A DART PLAYER”
— Bucky Bakalac

Perhaps it’s just me. But I don’t think so.

I haven’t a clue what I was doing the day John F. Kennedy was shot as his motorcade edged through Dealy Plaza in Dallas. My …

August 1, 2000
Column 91
REALITY DARTS!

With the political hoopla of late, the party conventions and the ever-present speculation about who’ll inherit Clinton’s Oval Love Den, I, like millions of other Americans, have been absolutely captivated by — WHAT ELSE!? — the going’s on in the Big Brother House. And, of course, on Survivor.…

June 1, 2000
Column 90
Gobsmacked!

I think Steve Brown’s got it in for me. I don’t know why.

Once, I suggested that he could run faster than a snake. I’ve since spoken to him about this and he’s assured me he took no offense. In fact, he claims he read this comment as complimentary. …

June 1, 2000
Column 89
Miami, Florida

If you’re looking for the best darts bar in Miami, and possibly the whole of south Florida, all you have to do is fly into Miami International Airport and drive around the corner. Tom’s NFL Club (5001 NW 36th Street) is so incredibly close to the terminal that, …

May 1, 2000
Column 88
Darts Philanthropy

There is simply no question that I am going to win the honkin’ $325 million jackpot tonight when the numbers are drawn in the super seven-state Big Game lottery. Due to a bizarre convergence of factors, I am so absolutely certain I am going to rake in the …

May 1, 2000
Column 87
Williamsburg, Virginia

There’s a nasty rumor floating around that yours truly has something against the electronic game. That this rumor, in fact, does exist was confirmed recently in a conversation I had by way of another modern invention, the telephone, with Leslie A. Murphy.

Leslie is Executive Director of the …