Dartoid’s Column

July 12, 2006
Column 265
Tommy Cox Disqualifies Gary Spedding and BANS Yoko Ono!

Friday, June 30
The World Cup quarter finals commenced today after a brief hiatus negotiated by PDC tournament director Tommy Cox “so the LVDC might be permitted to proceed undistracted.” The break was to last through the weekend but World Cup …

July 11, 2006
Column 264
US Defeats UK. Osama Blows up his Penis!

Thursday, June 29
Today is John Part’s fortieth birthday which in Canadian years means he is fifty. Part celebrated by wearing his own trousers and then seeing off Dutchman Roland Scholten in straight sets to move into tomorrow’s quarter finals, where he …

July 10, 2006
Column 263
Part Advances. Asteroid Taks Aim at London.

Wednesday, June 28
Darters dragged into the Mandalay tournament hall today following Stacy Bromberg’s fundraiser last night for the Make-a-Wish Foundation at CD’s Sports Lounge (3025 E. Desert Inn). Over 200 darters gathered for the annual event including John Part, Ray Carver, Paul …

July 7, 2006
Column 262
Can Superman Stop the Asteroid?

Tuesday, June 27
Chris White, Dave Kelly, Bob Gargan, Monty Broadway, Dan Zimmerman, Paul Lim and Johnny Kuczynski came close today and Roger Carter came closer (falling 4-2 to Welshman Barrie Bates after jumping to a 2-0 lead) but at the end of the day …

July 7, 2006
Column 261
Muffins!!!

Monday, June 26
Philadelphia perfectionist Bill Davis was the only American to survive the day, earning his way to the stage on Wednesday with a 4-3 victory over Alabama’s Roger “Taz” Carter. No other American made it through (although Marilyn Popp and Stacy Bromberg came close for the ladies) …

July 5, 2006
Column 260
A Review of Las Vegas Desert Classic 5

“A man in Las Vegas ate 47 grilled-cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes. A few weeks ago, the same guy ate 50 hot dogs. And guess what? Here’s the best part, girls. He’s still single.”

— David Letterman

No, Reggie Horak wasn’t in …

June 19, 2006
Column 259
Tim O’Gorman

If I was stranded on a remote island I’d most want to be with Osama Bin Laden. After the first two minutes I’d be all alone but the world would be a better place.

— Tim O’Gorman
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Nickname: I didn’t have a nickname before the World Series …

June 13, 2006
Column 258
Jeffrey Russell

I had a great time at the World Series of Darts and feel privileged just to participate – but would have liked to have done better. Next year I will!

— Jeffrey Russell
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Nickname: Jeff
Date of Birth: September 12, 1968
Place of Birth: Dover, New Hampshire…

June 1, 2006
Column 257
Fairclough and Nickolson — Two Smart Guys who aren’t Mates

There are two things in life that intimidate me.

The first of course is women. How when I look straight into their eyes every single one of them on Earth knows that I’m really trying to sneak a peek down …

May 26, 2006
Column 256
SCREW YOU!

To everybody who gave me grief last night before league: the title of this column is especially for you.

My buddies – Fran Horuzy, Jason Morton and Lionel Eubanks got ALL OVER my ass because I snorted out a last minute substitute and raced to my car before …