Dartoids World

Column #HR425 HELLO DOLLY!

Tuesday, September 19, 2023
Column HR425 

Dolly Parton is known for a couple of sayings.  First is: “STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”  The Old Dart Coach concedes that “Here We Go Again” finishes second.

That lyric seems appropriate as the BDO family (represented by Anthony Eno) is back with another tale of woe.

Have tissues handy.

The PDC announced that players that played in the World Dart Federation’s (not real) World Championships would be ineligible to play at the Ally Pally (real) World Championships.

In a “CYA effort” a WDF announcement would seem to suggest that the decision was a joint effort.

Nay, nay.  

Following extensive consultation with the Professional Darts Corporation (PDC), the World Darts Federation (WDF) can announce The PDC’s Board of Directors have informed us that they will not allow anyone that plays at Lakeside to also compete at the 2024 PDC World Championship. 

Got it.

Anthony Eno for the BDO family posted on Facebook…

I see the PDC (mercenaries) are running scared of the BDO (family) again.  They’ve obviously realized that the WDF are on the verge of being forgiven by the (family) and the BDO (family) is once again going to become the dominant organization and the ONE TRUE organization in the sport of darts.  (Only three misspelled words corrected by spell check and the ODC – mostly by spell check.)

Someone posted an immediate response to Anthony: You on drugs, man?   Yo, Anthony – plead to the drugs charge or else you’re just “Bat Stuff Wackadoodle Crazy.”

Martin Barr posted, Yet another PDC decision that will cause discussion, this time about the World Cup.  Actually, the PDC decision has Sweet Fanny Adams to do with the WDF World Cup which kicks off September 26 in Esbjerg, Denmark.

Good luck to the Yanks represented by a strong team of “Chainsaw” Joe Chaney, Danny Lauby Jr., Robbie Philipps and Bruce Robbins.  The lady’s team is stacked with veteran players Marlise Kiel, “Queen of the Oche” Paula Murphy, Carolyn Mars and Cali West.  (Bet you didn’t know that “Chainsaw” was from Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee.)

The USA Men’s World Cup Team has had little success with the exception of World Cup II when the late Nicky Virachkul won the singles in Las Vegas.  Then, in Brisbane in 1985, the USA men beat the English 9-0 and went on to win the Team Gold – defeating hometown Australia.

The USA Ladies have been more successful with singles Gold won by Sandy Reitan-Green, Eva Grigsby, Kathy Maloney and Stracy Bromberg.  The USA won the overall women’s title in 1997 led by pairs winner Stacy Bromberg and Lori Verrier.

Meanwhile, the PDC “mercenaries” were holding numbers 17-20 of the Women’s Series.  It turned out not to be a “Here we Go Again” event as Beau Greaves took only one of the 4 events held in Wigen.

Even bigger was the reemergence of Anastasia Dobromyslova who had been banned by the WDF.  Husband Tony expressed the feelings of many: Been a tough time getting you to play again after those idiots in the WDF tried to destroy you and take away your life.  Tony added, Thanks to her sponsors that did stick by.”  Let‘s mention her sponsors: Galaxy Barrel Designs, L-Style, ZWA management and Phoenix Sports Apparel.

Each series was won by a different lady ranked in the top four.  Mikuru Suzuki took the opener – cruising 5-1 over Lisa Ashton.  They would be level at 1 when Suzuki took off including a pair of legs with a 93+ average.

Lisa Ashton got her win next with a victory over Anastasia Dobromyslova.

Beau got her win when she averaged 94.01 in beating Ms. Dobromyslova 5-2.  Greaves had legs of 14 and 15 darts.

The best rivalry in women’s darts, in the Motha Country, is between Fallon Sherrock and Beau Greaves.  They would meet in the final of the two-day event.  Fallon won the bull to start which determined the outcome.  Every leg went with the darts.  Each had chances to break, coming up empty.  Greaves would win the average battle, 92.67 to 84.87, but lose the war.  Fallon saved her throw with 74, Ton and 80 checks when Greaves was on a 2-dart out.

Meanwhile, those nasty “mercenaries” were taking the oche in Amsterdam for the £350,000 Jack’s World Series of Darts Finals where the winner banked £75,000.  In the end it was a Dolly “Here We Go Again” as Michael van Gerwen thrilled the cheering and dancing crowd defeating Nathan Aspinall 11-4.

MvG broke a tie at 1 and then soared.  In his semifinal win over “Cool Hand: Luke Humphries, van Gerwen used a 9-darter for a 2-nil lead.  Undaunted, Humphries came from 2 down on four occasions – leading 10-9, one leg from defeating MvG.  Then, the “pucker effect” entered the match.  Humphries missed 3 from 8 allowing MvG to get level at 10 in 20 darts.  MvG took the decider in 12 darts with a 97 check.

When asked how many 9-darters he had MvG answered, I don’t know I won the game – that’s what’s important. 

Heard a rumor that the Pacific Darts Association (PDA) will produce a 2025 Santa Monica Hall of Fame tournament in August to celebrate its 50-year Anniversary.  YES!

And finally, the last “Here We Go Again” Dolly moment…

The American Darts Organization has a new President and Vice President.  Initially, and unfortunately, but not surprisingly, it seems nothing has changed…

From the pen, pencil or crayon of the new ADO President, Jim Widmayer, comes, I find it pretty funny how Howie Reed (nee ODC) and Dartoid bash the ADO, but they can’t host a tournament without the ADO. 

There are a number of definitions for the word “bash” – “strike” and “violently”, a “heavy blow” or a “party or social event.”  The guess is that none of these are in the mind of Mr. Widmayer.

If he meant “untruths”, which is a good guess, let it be clear that never once has anyone demonstrated that either the ODC or Dartoid has ever written anything that was untrue.

The Golden Era Dart Players are putting on the Stacy Bromberg Senior Open (January 19-20, 2024) without a scintilla of assistance from the ADO.  In fact, the Golden Era Dart Players encourage darters to visit the Las Vegas Open.

The new ADO President ended with, “I got business to get to.  Go write another article that people laugh at.”  Thank you.  I will.  Oh yes, never end a sentence with a preposition.

The loveliest lady in darts, Sandy Retain-Green is recovering from a pair of recent strokes.  She is currently recovering at Rancho Mirage Health & Rehab, 39950 Vista Del Sol, Room 104, Rancho Mirage, California 92270.  Flood her with cards and letters.  She is the Rolls Royce of women besides being the best lady dart player EVER.  God Bless you, Sandy.

Stay thirsty my friends.



  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.