Dartoids World

Column #HR326 The PDC says… WELCOME LADIES!

Wednesday, February 2, 2022
Column HR326

The ODC was spot-on when he predicted the PDC would soon come up with some kind of TV ladies’ event.  That time has arrived.  On July 24th on a summer’s afternoon eight ladies will take the stage at the Winter Gardens (Blackpool).  They will via for a shot at the £25,000 prize fund and the title of Betfred Women’s World Matchplay Champion.

It’s back to the future.  In 2010, the late Stacy Bromberg defeated Tricia Wright 6-5 (at Ally Pally) to claim the Unicorn Ladies World Championship.

The top eight ladies from the Order of Merit will play based on points garnered following 12 events from the first half of the year with a total prize fund of £125,000. “You’ve come a long way baby!”

Everyone has a “never wrong, know-it-all friend.”  The ODC has a former playing partner who fits that description.  He picked the Kansas City Chiefs to beat the Cincinnati BENN GALS (they’re woke now).  His friend proven wrong, the ODC called…

Well Howard, I know I was wrong, but I planned it that way.  You think I’m always right so I wanted to be wrong to prove I could be.  Second liar doesn’t have a chance.

The ODC’s picks for the Ladbroke’s Masters sucked: “Price as the likely winner.”  Defending Masters champion Jonny Clayton sent Price packing (10-8) when again the “Whips & Jingles” attacked Price’s finishing.  There was a bit of controversy (pronounced Con TRAV ES EE) when Michael van Gerwen defeated Luke Humphries 10-9.  Humphries led 9-8 when also experienced the “W&Js” – missing five match darts.  Humphries complained about MVG coughing...   

So, what I said was right then?  He did cough.  But it doesn’t matter because I was 200 behind.   What a dick.

The ODC usually picks Jose de Sousa as a long shot.  Not this time.  de Sousa had chances, but Joe Cullen took him out 11-8.  This was after Cullen annihilated Gary Anderson 10-1.  Heck of a weekend for Cullen, his first TV Title (a Major) collecting £60,000.  Cullen was skipping alone on a pleasant afternoon leading 5-2 when Chisnall fought back only for Cullen to fire a pair of 12-darters to regain control.

Cullen hammered the 19s for a 126-out, moving within one leg of the win. Then, yet again, the “W&Js” struck – as Cullen missed 10 match darts, allowing Chisnall to sneak up to 10-9.  Cullen then nailed d18 for the win.  Good for him.

The ODC tries to “never get in a stink fight with a skunk” – as personified in much of what’s found on a particular dart fanatic’s Facebook page.  It’s home to one really delusional person who spouts utter drivel.  He’s the modern equal of the WWII enemy fighter discovered still hiding out 30 years after the war – and refusing to believe the war was over.

Just turned on ITV4 and found that the PDC (mercenaries) have some sort of exhibition/reality TV programme on.  Former BDO (family) World Pro runner up, Dave Chisnall, playing a popstar called Cullen that I think has a stutter.  It’s amazing how easy the game can look on their comedy boards with the massive trebles, isn’t it? 

Oh yes, the “comedy boards with the massive trebles” are toast as the PDC has signed sponsorship deal with Winmau.  Bye-bye NODOR?  No, they own Winmau.

What a classy guy.  “Cullen has a stutter.” He continues… got me thinking about Chisnall, Gary Anderson, van Gerwen and the others, that ran away for the coin as soon as they realized they couldn’t live with all-time greats like Wolfie.  I wonder if they could have made it on the Lakeside stage.  Doubtful, but we’ll never know. 

Wolfie is Martin Adams.  The “Great Wolfie” is 3-2 at Lakeside, beating Dean Winstanley (who failed in the PDC), Dave Chisnell and Phil Nixon (a county player who never won a tournament).  He lost to Barney and Scott Mitchell.  In 2001, “Wolfie” lost in the PDC Grand Slam to Phil Taylor 17-9 and the PDC Gran Prix to Mr. John Lowe 6-5.  He then hauled ass back to the BDO like a cat with battery acid on its backside.

Wolfie would strike fear in the hearts of PDC professionals?  Sure.  Righty-o.  Imagine dart players going where the money was?  Whatever were they thinking.

PDC (mercenaries) tour is easy money for the professionals, who have been close enough to greatness to set foot on the most famous of darting stages – see MVG, Peter Wright and Gary Anderson as prime examples of talented PDC (mercenaries). Tour is easy money for the professionals, who have been close enough to greatness to set foot on the most famous of darting stages. Never quite good enough to handle the pressure of the Home of World.

All in all, the ODC emerges from the “contest with a skunk” – smelling like Old Spice.   

Wednesday, the World Seniors Darts Championship kicks off with first round matches – with no TV or streaming in North America.  Wishing good luck to Paul Lim and Larry “The Eagle” Butler.

Checked the rules and there’s nothing about “walkers.” Would be possible to call a foot fault if a walker was over the oche?  Geezers need to know.

See how the “Great Wolfie” does against those inferior “old” PDC players.

The ODC once drew his friend, the late Kathy Hopkins, in a blind draw at Chris’s Club in Vallejo.  They played a gentleman in a wheelchair who played, with difficulty, on crutches.  The ODC and Kathy were down 1-nil in the race to two. The gentleman on crutches tossed a ton.  The ODC called a crutch fault.  The chalker, the crowd and his partner turned against him instantly.  That night, also in dart history, Sonja Rolphs learned that Tequila 1800 was not her friend!

On Thursday the Cazoo 2022 Premier League kicks off the first of 16 nights. Joe Cullen joins the usual suspects (Gerwyn Price, Peter Wright, Michael van Gerwen, James Wade, Michael Smith, Gary Anderson and Jonny Clayton) in the “new look” competition. Missing is Rob Cross.  Obviously, I’m gutted and devastated, whichever word you want to use.

Each week will be a “mini-bracketed KO tournament” best of 11-legs.  The ODC is predicting a Price vs. Wright final.

  1. Jonny Clayton v Joe Cullen
  2. Gerwyn Price v James Wade
  3. Peter Wright v Michael Smith
  4. Michael van Gerwen v Gary Anderson

From Harith “He’s Not My Brother” Lim:  新年快乐 and Gong hei fat choy.  He wishes Happy Chinese New Year to all friends and fans around the world – prosperity, happiness, good health, wealth and success this year of the Tiger.

Stay thirsty my friends.



  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.