Dartoids World

Column #HR219 MORE about the walk-on girls (and a word about “Big Baby” Lewis)

Friday, February 5, 2018
Column HR219
MORE about the walk-on girls (and a word about “Big Baby” Lewis)

WARNING: This column will contain the opinions of the Old Dart Coach (as opposed to other columns in which he tries to pass blame onto others by using “questionable” quotation marks).

Sport, including darts, is most successful when it presents pure competition where those that perform best are rewarded. Sport falls on its keister when it decides or is pushed into the political arena. The same for entertainment. Sport and entertainment are meant to be an escape from the everyday stress and struggles of life. Preaching works best on Sundays in church and many times even then it isn’t effective.

Darts and its players are essentially non-political. For 2 or 3 hours while “Toeing the Oche” nothing counts but doubles and triples (even singles are acceptable when necessary). When sport dives into the political arena general interest wanes.

The recent decline in the popularity of the National Football League in America is a prime example as they had the lowest TV ratings in 8 years for the Super Bowl. Great game. The ODC watched – but only for his late friend Dick McGinnis, a long time Eagles fan, because the ODC wasn’t sure how strong TV reception was in heaven.

The Professional Darts Corporation has recently stopped using walk-on girls. The reason? If you believe the BBC it’s “because it’s demeaning to women” notwithstanding the fact that none of the “demeaned women” have come forward to applaud the decision. If it wasn’t the “demeaned women” then who was it? One would suspect it was “them, you know who” and “everybody knows.”

One dart blogger wrote, “They are the same ******** who have decided to be our moral compass whether we like it or not, who are now solely responsible for the same ‘demeaned’ women losing their jobs, and the spin-offs they could have made on the side from their exposure on TV.”

One American darting lady wrote, “I really have zero clue how someone who claims to be a ‘feminist’… you know, those women in the 60s and 70s who fought for women to be whatever they wanted to be and the sexual freedom/revolution are the group that now have the power to take away jobs from women who love their jobs because the ‘new feminist’ doesn’t like their job. You ‘new’ feminists make zero sense. I proudly declare I am not a part of this weird so called feminist group.”

The feature photo at the top of this column is Vogue Fashion and feminist icon Ms. Yeager who always stands up for women’s rights. She recently criticized the shoes worn by the first lady.

Barry Hearn, PDC Majordomo, has been a boxing manager/promoter. The ODC in his alternate life covers boxing. From long experience he learned that boxing managers/promoters usually tell “porkies.” It’s in their DNA. The BBC said, “The walk on girls have been axed, a decision made by the PDC and coming in line with Formula 1 who have done the same.”

The BBC tells “pork pie lies!”

The BBC is funded and controlled by the English government. The BBC is “politically correct” to its core. They were “PC” before “PC” took over the world faster than a tourist in Mexico learns the “Mexican two-step” after drinking the water.

Hearn said, “It’s the TV executive(s) that have axed them” (it was out of his hands). In today’s “PC” world one of the requirements to become a TV executive is to have your “cojones” shrunk to the size of raisins. They wear every color ribbon known to man, supporting all causes known to man, woman or declined to state.

We’re with Hearn on this one. It was the BBC’ doing, maybe with an assist from London’s Muslim Mayor Sadig Khan. After taking office in 2016, the mayor banned subway advertising “which could cause body confidence issues.” Yes, one could see the walk-on girls causing some ladies to have “body confident issues.”

The BBC peddles the yarn that dart fans that dress like clowns, drink copious amounts of aiming fluid and bet on darts are offended by the walk-on girls?

The PDC has been forced to grab their collective ankles proving once again that, “Whoever has the gold makes the rules.” (The quote is attributed to the comic strip Wizard of Id which the ODC has never seen but quotes often.)

The PDC needs television which fuels betting interests which enrich the coffers of the organization and its players. The ban will not decrease revenues one iota. The PDC knows that there are some fights best not to fight and for the walk-on girls their cause is one. Hope the girls got a drink before and a cigarette after.

This space for some time has been critical of Adrian “Big Baby” Lewis. The ODC’s given nickname is a misnomer as eventually babies stop whining. Lewis is a million dollar airport with a ten cent control tower. He’s a two-time world champion that has fallen from almost the top of the rankings to #20.

During his UK Open Qualifier quarterfinal match against new card holder Spaniard Jose Antonio Justicia Perales, Lewis displayed the temperament of an enfant terrible. Rather than explain what transpired it is suggested that you Google “lewis-perales, dartmatrch, youtube.”

Shortly after the match, the Darts Regulation Authority suspended Lewis pending a full investigation. In today’s professional game Lewis’ actions are unacceptable. Not everyone agrees that Lewis’s actions were wrong…

One airhead wrote, “Jose was egging Lewis for half the match. He kept staring at Lewis and looking back at him. Antics. WTF! Lewis had enough of it. I agree Lewis shouldn’t have touched him but Jose was the antagonizer.”

NO, he stared at him. That’s cause for the guillotine?

Twenty years ago, when the “pros” were playing for pounds Lewis’s action would have been viewed as “gamesmanship.” The Sage of Sittingbourne, Dave Whitcombe, remembers those days…

“Watching the PDC the last couple of days takes me back to the good old days – kicking Bristow in the bollocks, throwing a water jug at Lowe, bringing the nunchucks out against Wilson and good old Sid Waddell shouting, ‘Yes! This is darts at its finest!’ Happy days.”

Lewis wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes.

Mr. John Lowe shared his view: “A stir in the darts world after Adrian Lewis loses his cool, the Darts Regulatory Authority acted very quickly, suspending Lewis until a full investigation is carried out; unfortunately for Lewis it’s all on film. Thankfully this is a rare occasion in our sport.”

Mr. Lowe, as he often is, was “spot on.” Professional darts has gone through the transition from hustling pounds in a pub to the international spotlight playing for hundreds of thousands. With that comes responsibility. Throughout his career “Big Baby” Lewis has shown no responsibility for anything and even less ability to act like nothing but a spoiled brat.

One has to wonder what Rod Harrington had in his cup of tea when at the World Championships he said after a Lewis loss, “The PDC is better when Addie is playing well.”

To quote Roger the Dodger (if he talked to Harrington), “You’re joking?!”

Stay thirsty my friends.  


  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.