Dartoid’s Column

March 1, 2002
Column 116
The Buckeye Open

Even the squirrels were still tucked in bed last week when I backed out of my driveway in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. I headed west in the early morning drizzle along Route 276, towards Ohio, instead of north for Massachusetts. The journey to throw darts at the Witch …

February 1, 2002
Column 115
Ask Mr. Darts Language Person

Welcome to “Ask Mr. Darts Language Person,” the only column of its kind in the world, including England, dedicated to proper grammatorical usage in connection with the sport of darts. Special thanks are due to columnist Dave Barry of the Miami Herald, from whom I …

December 1, 2001
Column 113
Merry Knicker’s Night To You!!!

It’s Halloween! Or Punky Night, if you live in Somerset, England.

This evening, as we in America toss Tootsie Rolls into sacks thrust at us by sticky little children cleverly disguised as sticky little children in sheets, across the pond in Somerset, the Brits are …

November 1, 2001
Column 112
Off the Oche with Dartoid

I’ve been waiting for the blokes at the Professional Darts Corporation (PDC) to call and ask me some of the questions from their special edition quiz, Off the Oche. Of course, I’ve also been waiting for them to ring and invite me to post my …

November 1, 2001
Column 111
Osama Lama Ding Dong

I was intrigued recently when I read that Taliban Foreign Minister Maulvi Wakil Ahmed Mutawakil suggested a little duel to resolve the current world crisis. “I will propose that Mr. Blair and Mr. Bush should take Kalashnikovs and come to a specified place where (the Taliban …

October 1, 2001
Column 110
Thank you Mick Manning!!

If you follow the Cyberdarts’ ListServe you may have read the recent post by Manhattan’s Tina DiGregorio thanking the many darters who have contacted her recently to be sure she was okay. Although she didn’t mention it, I was one of them.

After the phone rang …

It’s been about two years now since I received the call from Tommy “The King” Molina. I’d rung my buddy a week or so earlier to tell him about the model I’d landed from Myrtle Beach.

“Tommy! She’s amazing, man. Name’s Eve. Was a Miss Hawaiian Tropic. Won the Venus Swimwear title. Just did a …

August 1, 2001
Column 108
Cork, Ireland

I’m at a hotel called the Hayfield Manor ploppin’ Alka Seltzer to recover from a couple of nights of darts and Beamish Stout here in Cork, Ireland which, for those of you who were dickin’ around in third grade geography class, is a city somewhere in, well… Ireland. …

July 1, 2001
Column 107
Ban Assholes!!

If you don’t subscribe to the Cyberdarts List Serve — that miraculous organism out there in the Internet ether which, in my case anyway, causes something like a billion e-mail messages to appear on my computer screen each day — then you SHOULD! Run by Rick Osgood down …