Howie Reed

After frenetic play the first three day’s of the Champions League are now in the books. The League is a great example of the PDC (that would be Barry Hearn) using modern technology to advance the sport while increasing money available. This while other sports are crying “Uncle” and looking for handouts. For the Champions League it’s more than 10 betting websites footing the £200,000 bill in prize money. The ODC reminds us that once in an advert for the Thai Open the amount available to be won was called “Price Money.” There is some logic there. Not much but some.

Should you ever travel to Istanbul, Turkey, which we all know use to be called Constantinople, you might like to know that their famous Blue Mosque was built by Sultan Ahmet I. The Old Dart Coach doesn’t know about the origins of the Mosque but does know about the name change. Por Que? ‘Cause he can sing the opening verse of the 1953 hit by the Four Lads.

Peter Cross sang the song “Some Day My Ship Will Come In” which is probably what North American players were singing when the good ship “HMS PDC” landed in Canada. Even if they never heard of Peter Cross or the song they might have been singing…

Toeing the Oche has for the most part been positive on the Professional Darts Corporation. They, the PDC, have accomplished in fewer than 15 years what the sport couldn’t accomplish in the 500 years prior. A TV contract, the end of phony draws, real rankings and a new level of excellence from the oche… “So what’s the beef ?” With success sometimes those responsible for achievement feel empowered. In their own minds they become anointed as infallible and all-knowing. In the past the rulers of darts felt the same way. They accomplished almost nothing of substance and exasperated the situation by keeping out anyone with a differing view. That is always the danger.

Back in the day when the Old Dart Coach was the Old Rodeo Guy the days around July 4th used to be called “Cowboy’s Christmas.” The name emerged from a string of rodeos around that holiday that could make or break a cowboy’s year. Now with darts a professional sport the PartyPoker.com European Championships could well be darts’ Boxing Day. If the premise is accepted, I hereby accept that The World Matchplay was dart players’ Christmas and welcome you to The Stadthalle in Dinslaken, Germany for Boxing Day. With £200,000 in prize money, including £50,000 for Phil Taylor, this tournament is a big deal, with 31 players fighting for £20,000 in runner up money.

The ODC sometimes gets things almost right. He opined, “Off the quarters (97.93) one would have to think that Barney (95.89) is there for the taking if Wade is up to the task.” He was spot on but Wade wasn’t up to the task going down to Barneveld by the score of 17-8. Wade had the early lead (3-1) only to lose “Old Mo” in the 8th leg when he missed three to go up 5-3. Wade was sailing along when confronted with double 6. For some reason he stepped off the line once, then twice, and of course missed. That presented Raymond van Barneveld the chance to level at 4. He did. Barney followed that with another win for 5-4 and would never be headed from then on. Barney had some great finishes with three over a ton.

The Old Dart Coach is in his cups and almost inconsolable after yet a third trip to the local Wal-Mart for his favorite “red-skinned potato salad.” As is usually the case before being over taken by demon alcohol he ranted on and on about all things darts. He is a sorry soul. In particular he wanted the PDC, which he refers to as Phil’s Dart Club, to consider shortening the matches during the Stan James World MatchPlay.

The media reported that a punter bet £30,000 pounds on Kevin Painter in his match against Colin Lloyd. Toeing the Oche asked “what was he thinking when Painter was 8-2 down in the race to 13?” The light of day, actually an email, now reveals that someone bet £40,000 at 1/40 on Lloyd to win. What was he doing when Lloyd was up 8-2?

In 1984, Murray Head had a big hit record with “One Night in Bangkok.” It was written by Björn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson who were bookended by the pair of A’s in the group ABBA. With ABBA now again relevant with their musical hit Mama Mia maybe the pair could team up again to write “One Night In Blackpool.”

The Old Dart Coach has been locked in a padded room for his own protection. It was a move taken to protect not only the ODC but those around him from injury. The trigger to his unexplained behavior is believed to be the PDC players’ proclivity to hug after a match while whispering “sweet nothings” in each other’s ear. The ODC claims that everytime this occurs he hears Brenda Lee singing her baby heart out with “My baby whispers in my ear… sweet nothings.”