Dartoid

July 7, 2007
Column 299
Mawson and Part Advance!

Today’s Dartoid’s World installment on the second stage round at the Professional Darts Corporations (PDC) sixth annual Las Vegas Desert Classic will be brief but that’s not because of all the e-mails I’ve received begging me to stop churning out this crap or because no North …

July 6, 2007
Column 298
Darin Young Defeats his Boogey Man

What a day of darts!

Even the uninformed who spout nonsense about cricket being the only route to televised darts success in America must admit that today’s matches held all that it takes to keep an audience in their seats. And Dave ‘Boy” Green …

July 5, 2005
Column 297
First Round Results (and Exploding Crickets)

Here’s a FACT for you: If you count the number of times a cricket chirps in a fourteen second interval and add the number thirty-eight to it, you will get the exact temperature of the air in which you (and the cricket) are standing.…

July 4, 2007
Column 296
Qualifier Two is Over – and the Stage is Set

Following another late night at one of Binions’ Texas Hold-em tables and three hours sleep, my preparations for today’s second qualifier began in typical Las Vegas tourist fashion with a hearty prime rib breakfast and a wave goodbye to a …

July 3, 2007
Column 295
Qualifier One is Over and CARVER ADVANCES!

Today’s installment in the Desert Classic series must begin with a couple of apologies.

To my friend Bill Davis from Philadelphia, who threw terrific darts yesterday during the Player’s Championship: I’m sorry I called you Bill Bell!

To Germany’s Charis Munster: I’m sorry …

July 2, 2007
Column 294
The Las Vegas Player’s Championship

In a result unprecedented in darting history, indeed in the history of all sport, thirteen times world champion Phil Taylor today won the Professional Darts Corporation’s (PDC) Las Vegas Player’s Championship without being present.

Reached at his home for comment, Dave ‘Boy’ Green, in his …

July 1, 2007
Column 293
The Road to Mandalay (Bay)

By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin’ lazy at the sea,
There’s a Burma girl a-settin’, and I know she thinks o’ me;
For the wind is in the palm-trees, and the temple-bells they say;
“Come you back, you British Soldier; come you back to Mandalay!”…

June 1, 2007
Column 292
The Underdog’s gonna GETCHA, Erik McVay!

I had a dream about Erik “the Commandant” McVay last night… and he was wearin’ a dress!

Nah, I only jest. But he will be wearin’ one when I’m through thrashin’ his arse this coming July in Las Vegas.

That’s the deal I’m proposin’ …

May 1, 2007
Column 291
The Iditarod Open

I am we todd did. I am we todd did.
I am sofa-king we todd did.

— Old Eskimo darters saying

Iditarod or “I. Dartoid” – that is the question.

Anagrams have always fascinated me…

But the discovery by my wife that my pen name is buried …

April 25, 2007
Column 290
It was a Dark and Stormy Night

Although some would say it was Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schultz who made it famous, it was Victorian novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton who in 1830 first penned the phrase “It was a dark and stormy night” in the opening line of his novel Paul Clifford. …