Dartoids World

Column #HR452 Turn Back Time?

Thursday, April 25, 2024
Column HR452
Turn Back Time?

“If I could turn back time… if I could find a way.”  Those words were sung by Cher – her biggest hit…

Gary Andreson did turn back time, found a way, last weekend – winning his first Euro title in ten years.  In 2014, he won the #24 Euro title.  Ten years later and 100 Euro events later, he won #124 – the NEO.bet European Darts Grand Prix in Sindelfingen Germany, or as it’s pronounced in Thailand “Gur Man EE.”

Many in the darting universe had written off the likable Scot – finished, washed up and more interested in fishing that darting.  Possibly Anderson found out that darting pays a lot better than fishing. This was his first significant win since he returned to the circuit in 2023.

In post-match interviews Anderson declared “this was luckiest I’ve ever been.”  I should have lost the last three matches.”  Let’s see about that…

Anderson opened with a 6-3 trouncing of Christian Perez where he averaged 110.23. “From that point my averages went poof.”  True, but averages only count for the loser. A win is a win.

Gerwyn Price has been known to suffer double trouble.  In the first 4 legs against Anderson, Price missed the bull twice and two from 40 – falling behind 4-0 and losing 6-4.  Grabbing that 4-0 lead, Anderson had two legs of 13 and one of 14. Not too Chablis!

Josh Rock had been playing exceptionally well when he faced Anderson.  Rock built a 4-2 lead as Andersen simply didn’t score.  Anderson narrowed things to 4-3 when he used a T165 (T20, T20, T15) which allowed him to use 6 darts from 16 to gain the leg.  Anderson would level at 4 when Rock took the 9th leg for a 5-4 lead.  Trailing badly in the 10th leg Anderson got a break as Rock failed to close with 4 allowing Anderson to tag T122 (18, T18, 50) for a decider.  In the final leg Anderson had a lead which allowed him to screw up 26 hitting the 13 rather than the 6 he wanted.  He then used 4 darts to capture the win in 20 darts.

The semifinal encounter against Rob Cross did a have big helping “Oh Lucky Day.”  In Anderson’s 7-5 win, Cross misused 11darts that would have turned the loss into a win. Enter the old “If I’das.”

The final against Ross Smith was another Houdini escape for Anderson.  Smith had been scorching the oche as he defeated Damon Heta 6-5 and Michael van Gerwen 7-6.  His win over Heta at 6-5 came after Heta missed one at tops.

The final was a square up match with only one significant double missed – a bull miss by Smith that allowed Anderson to level at 3.  A “significant double missed” is one that costs a player to lose a leg. The pair were level at 6 when Anderson used a 12-darter, erasing T21 with a t20, t11, d14 for a 7-6 lead.  Ross Smith has always been really good at times but still unable to capture that big win.

The 14th leg, which proved to be the decider, saw Smith with an attack of the “whips and jingles” when he was at 40.  He missed two at tops, then three from 20 and three from 10 as Anderson won in a smooth 24 darts.  “I was lucky.”

In retrospect he was. There are two theories on being “lucky.”  Golfer Jack Nicklaus’ theory was: “The more I practice the luckier I get.”  Not Andersons though.  His philosophy is: “You can’t practice luck.”  All Hail Gary Anderson.

The fairer sex was also on the oche last weekend.  Many a divorcee would dispute the term “fairer” when applied to ladies.  With four events over two days the ladies event saw the return of Beau Greaves to the darting wars after a brief pause.  Greves was able to secure two wins although she appeared in four finals which is 50%.  That’s below what many expect of Greaves.

In her first final Greaves faced “I feel Like a Women” Noa-Lynn van Leuven from the Netherlands.  Greaves jumped to a 4-0 lead in a race to five.  She then collapsed – much like a husband’s excuse for coming home late with lipstick on his collar.  Greaves then got freight-trained, losing 5 in a row.  This was van Leuven’s second Women’s Series win.  Some are of the opinion that “revenge is best served cold” which is total BS.

The next event was the same day.  In the semifinals Greaves got revenge rolling over van Leuven 5-zip – van Leuven had only 2 doubles chances.  Greaves took the event 5-1 over Lisa Ashton.

Fallon Sherrock would find herself in the final of event #7 against Greaves.  Sherrock was on the short end of a 5-nil shellacking.  Greaves averaged 98.99.

The final event of the weekend closed when Greaves faced “Miracle” Mikuru Suzuki…

Greaves got to the finals with a 5-2 win over “tranny” van Leuven in the semis.  The final had the players level a 1. Suzuki got the motor running for the 5-1 win. Greaves seemed to tire after the long weekend as she missed six doubles in two legs for leg wins.

More Tranny Tails (pun intended) as the Women’s Series once again raised the question of men, with factory installed equipment, playing against the women as God had designated.  Two “men-like women” played in the series.  van Luven was joined by Samantha Lewis.  Lewis would suffer two first round losses.  The event concluded with two top-64 finishes for Lewis thanks to a couple of bi’s.  Pun intended.

The father of Leanne Topper posted: “My daughter has just lost to Noa-Lynn (5-3) in the quarters PDC WOMENS event.  I know that she wanted to refuse to play but was officially told that Leanne would be fined and face a ban.”

The PDC official stance quotes Rule 4.17 which states: “Should a player not fulfil a scheduled match during an event this would instigate a referral to the DRA under our rules. They would then decide any further action.”

It’s very possible that Mr. Topper was given incorrect information, or someone told him what might happen if his daughter refused to play.  The DRA (Darts Regulation Authority) would have to hold a hearing.

Regardless, the PDC will have to come up with a specific rule to cover “Shaina Twine-likes” competing against ladies when they hold their suspected meeting with Olympic officials in Paris prior to this year’s Olympics.

The Old Dart Coach suspects that the PDC’s plans are under way, or not.

Stay thirsty my friends.



  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.