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Column #HR296 HOLY MOLEY, MR. FOLEY… THE PRICE WAS RIGHT!

Wednesday, January 6, 2021
Column HR296
HOLY MOLEY, MR. FOLEY… THE PRICE WAS RIGHT!

The PDC has crowned a new World Champion and new World #1 – Wales native, Gerwyn Price – and presented him with the Sid Waddell Trophy and a check for £500,000!

Price defeated former World Champion Gary Anderson 7-3.  When Price was up 6 sets to 2, he might have recalled the words of Frank Sinatra singing, “And now the end is near.”  Those words must have been ringing in Price’s head as he wasted 11 darts for the match.  His failure to hit a double followed a run where he hit tops ten on the trot and had a 75%+ check rate.

The day before, Price came from behind to defeat Steven “Family Guy” Bunning 6-4.  During his comeback he owned double 10 free and clear.  Funny, but when Glen Durrant was losing to Gary Anderson (4-0) he missed enough doubles 10s for a lifetime.  Durrant finally wised up – left with 10 he went straight for the 2 to leave double 4.  Missed that also.

Price joins the ranks of Leighton Rees, Richie Burnett and Mark Webster as World Champs from Wales.  He’ll now represent the Red Dragon when toeing the oche in 2021.  The symbol of Wales, The Red Dragon, was used by Henry VII in the battle of Bosworth in 1485.

Going into the finals Price had a slight edge in scoring average and check rate over “whining” Gary Anderson.

“Whining?”

Anderson whined (brie and crackers optional) after beating Mensur Suljovic (4-3).  Both had darts that were up and down more than the girls at the old Honey Hotel, Soi 11, Pattaya Beach.  Despite the win Anderson complained of “slow play” and that Suljovic was using the wrong water table (oh horrors!).

After beating Devon Peterson (4-0) he continued whining.  Commentator John Part suggested that Anderson was using a little “gamesmanship.”  The ODC chuckled, as he has want to do, thinking, “How long would Anderson have lasted playing Gerald “Boy G” Verrier, Kathy Maloney or the late Judy Campbell.  One dose of them and he’d be back saying, Coffee, team and please return your seatback to the upright positon before landing. 

What happened to Michael van Gerwen?

Prior to his exit he averaged 108.98, 106.85 and in the tungsten war with Joe Cullen (4-3) average 100 as Cullen averaged 97.32.  van Gerwen would have two of the top three tournament averages as he sandwiched Dave Chisnell’s 107.34.  Cullen tossed 19 T80s against MvG, missing bull for the win.

It was a shocker when van Gerwen went bye-bye 5-0 to Dave Chisnell.  Chisnell averaged 107.34.  He tossed 55 T80s for the tournament.

In the final both player’s scoring was about the same, but Price averaged 100.08 and Anderson 94.25.  The big difference, writes Captain Oblivious, was finishing…

As the “overweight lady” was licking her lips preparing to sing as the end was near, Price got a case of “whips and jingles.”  It was as if the ODC had been playing on the board and messing the doubles up so bad no one could hit them.  From a high of 75% on doubles Price ending up with a rate of 26/57 or 45.61%.  He had 11 match darts.  The “whips and jingles” allowed Anderson to gain some respect for the 3rd set and he had darts for a fourth.

While the PDC World Championships is about the winner it’s more than that.  It’s an old-time radio “soap serial.”  Like the old radio show “Grand Central Station” from 1930s to the mid-1950s the World Championship is packed with stories that tease darters’ minds and captivate the fans.

Each “Grand Central Station” began with, the crossroads of a million private lives, a gigantic stage on which are played a thousand dramas daily.  That’s the PDC World Championships.

One story that held the ODC in a death grip was Glen Durant misbehaving against Diogo Portela.  A reader posted, Glenn Durrant sucking on his darts and then leaving them in the board when he went on break!  WOW, what a Douche Canal. 

The Old Dart Coach made an egregious error his last column of 2020.  He’s ashamed of his behavior.  His actions leave him in the 2021 doghouse.

He called the poster “one of my biggest fans.”

The record was set straight via an email stating, I am not of fan of yours, in fact I think you are a supercilious arrogant horse’s ass.  May you see the light.

There’s a chance…

Gerwyn Price is a remarkable World Champion for many reasons.  Here was a dart player, and former professional rugby player, who only got his PDC tour card in 2014 after playing darts for the first time 2010 at the age of 25.

He earned the grand sum of £12,750 in ‘14.  In 2015, at the World Championships he lost to Peter Wright (3-0) and in 2016 also 3-0.

In 2017, Price actually won a set, losing 3-1.

In 2018, Price came into his own, at least at the World Championships, making it to the third round before losing to Michael van Gerwen.

In 2019, Price lost in the second round.  Who would have thunk it?

This time out Price won in sets and legs 26-18.  Anderson’s doubles were ODC-like with 18 of 67.  Pathetic.   If Anderson looks in the mirror he can only quote Pogo: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”

Only dart players can understand the mental pressure on Price.  He was within a dart of reaching the pinnacle of his profession.  He was faced with a “gimmie” putt for the greatest title in his sport.  He felt “mo” shift as his doubles disappeared.

As he missed and missed, he must have asked himself, “beth y ffwcio?”

But as a champion he conquered all.

With little respect, the stupidest question of the tournament was asked by the “eye-candy” presenter while talking with Gary Anderson after his semi win.  Anderson had explained he wanted to win another world championship.  “Is the £500,000 important?”  TFO.  You ask a Scotsman’s if money is importantly?  That’s like asking a fish if it requires water.  Anderson with a twinkle in his eye replied, “It’ll buy a cup of coffee.”

What’s in store for darters in 2021?

For World Champion Gerwyn Price – he’ll find new pressures, a target on his back and the realization that staying on top is harder than getting there.

Will Price, who had no record of wins prior to joining the PDC, be the forerunner of what’s to come?

Is the era of van Gerwen over?

Anderson says he’s playing the full tour next year.  Will he?

Peter Wright has a lot of work to do.

Or will the three big names (the others are “window dressing”) take a path suggested by John Part?  They can retire to cash in on the lucrative exhibition circuit and make a good living.

With the continued lockdown can darts (machine and steel) survive in the USA?

Stay tuned for the answers.

Stay thirsty my friends.

 

Author

  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.