Dartoids World

Column #HR207 Rumors and Rumours

Friday, August 11, 2017
Column HR207
Rumors and Rumors


Every year or so, Toeing the Oche has to go into tutorial mode. The Old Dart Coach admits that this is tedious, boring and not very entertaining. For others it’s just business as usual for this space. Those that make hurtful comments will be ignored.

The subject for this issue is “rumors.” There are different kinds of rumors. There’s the “floating” rumor, the “abounding” rumor and then just the plain old fashioned rumor. That latter is usually salacious and meant to titillate. The abounding rumor is one that has passed from one to another and another picking up details as it rolls along. While generally based on some degree of fact at the beginning the end result is usually bogus.

That brings us to the “floating” rumor. This usually has no basis in fact but sounds good. Floating rumors are rooted in a perpetrator’s wish list or distributed just to stir the pot. The floating rumor is often attributed to a person or a mythical being. This is akin to someone in an argument saying, “Well, everyone knows.”

These folks can be stopped in the tracks by asking them to “Name 10.”

The most constant “source” of floating rumors is the “rumor mill,” suggestive that, like a sawmill turns logs into 2 x 4s (or the New York Times), there is an actual physical place just cranking out false information.

No one does a better job of floating rumors than the Sage of Sittingbourne, Mr. Dave Whitcombe. His wicked sense of humor along with an intimate knowledge of darts allows him to play games with darters at will. These darters usually don’t have a clue that the Sage is “having a laugh.” He enjoys this giggle time after being given orders by the Duchesses of Sittingbourne, the Lady Delph, and scratching the items off his “honey do” list.

The latest from the fertile mind of the Sage…

“If the rumor mill is correct and the PDC are going to organize a Ladies Tour, I expect it will done superbly, have plenty of money to strive for, maybe even TV – and wonder if the top end of the women will sign in droves.”

The ODC immediately contacted the PDC for official comment. Being that he is the most important darts writer in North Las Vegas – a VIP, the ODC’s request for information was answered with the speed of light. The initial response from the PDC was…

“We are aware of no such rumour.”

Within hours, the PDC took the opportunity to edit and extend their remarks…

“Edward Lowy of Unicorn Darts and the PDC Board has confirmed (on an online forum) that, at the board level, ladies darts is something being considered in future. Whether that’s a one-off event like in 2010 or a tour remains to be seen, based on considerations as to its viability.”

For those not around in 2010 Unicorn Darts and PDC included in the PDC World Championship a Ladies World Championship. The event sponsored by Unicorn was won by the late Stacy Bromberg from America. It’s just a wild guess but there’s not much chance of an American lady winning today. Maybe Canada could host the flag for North America.

Before the elites contact Toeing the Oche – the word “rumour” is spelled differently in the UK. As Dr. WB said of England and the USA, “We’re two countries separated by a common language.” She might have added that Americans have teeth but that would be rude but no rumor.

Usually with a rumor of any ilk, denial is confirmation that the “rumor” has some substance based on truth. The PDC is considering a Women’s Tour but (in the writing trade that called the “But Monkey”) that day will come when ladies darts reaches the point where it will command a large TV audience, a dart company comes on board as sponsor, or it becomes competitive to the point that wagering will become a factor.

It appears that Unicorn is on board.

An “abounding” rumor that’s been around for some time is that darts will become an Olympic sport. The rumor gained some momentum recently when the World Dart Federation president signed on to the rumor, as have officials of the BDO (which is almost the same thing). As with a PDC Ladies Tour there certainly has been some thought given to the idea of darts as an Olympic sport – but it’s not going to happen. Darts will become an Olympic sport when darts has the money to bribe enough members of the Olympic Committee to get the measure passed. It’s as simple as that. Does the PDC need the Olympics? NO. They are doing fine right now.

A story “making the rounds,” which is a rumor reported as fact, asked the question proposed by someone in the British Darts Organization: “When darts is an Olympic sport who will pick the team – the BDO or the PDC?” Ignore the false premise of darts as an Olympic sport and focus on the question of who would pick the teams.

The BDO, ADO and the WDF are delusional to the point that they are still of the opinion that what they do and say is important in the real dart world. While no one would argue that these organization have a place in the dart universe to think their opinion counts is silly. They have no TV and limited sponsorship. The 62 countries that belong to the WDF would scurry like passengers fleeing the Titanic if and when the PDC develops a Ladies Tour, a more encompassing World Cup, regional competitions and, most of all, TV money.

It’s been rumored that the Sage of Sittingbourne recently had occasion at his pub to serve an amateur therapist…

After he presented the gentleman a pint of larger, the Sage was scrutinized from head to toe with the eye of a professional. The Sage has reported that, “a therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.”

He was also shocked after reading that on average an English man will have sex two to three times per week. A Japanese man will only have sex one or two times a year.

“This is very upsetting new to me,” he commented. I had no idea I was Japanese.”

Stay thirsty my friends.




  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.