Dartoids World

Column #HR150 MIDGETS!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Column HR150

Make  no mistake. English darts in AMERICA is deader than Lamar Odom’s reproductive organ after three days at the Love Ranch brothel 70 miles outside of Las Vegas.

Odon is a former NBA player and certified American trash reality TV star. He spent more than $70,000 dollars while enjoying the various amenities offered at the Love Ranch while reportedly partaking in “nose candy” and various “dick stiffeners.”   Taken unconscious to a Las Vegas hospital, he regained consciousness to find soon to be ex-wife Khloe Kardashian at his bedside. Allegedly, Odom said, “Hi babe!” (which would lead one to believe that he thought he was still at the Love Ranch).  But I digress.

English darts in America are dead because machine darts has done an outstanding  job of promoting their sport while introducing innovations that elevate the now “bar sport,” almost, but not quite beyond the level of “getting one’s ashes hauled.”  They’ve made it interesting – bells and whistles – while allowing the “average” Joe and Jane a chance to have fun and pub owners the opportunity to make money.

To blame the American Darts Organization for steel-tip’s demise would be unfair and wrong. They are the ”Little Dutch Boy with his Finger in the Dike.” Regardless of what they have done it was akin to trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon.  The flip side is they did damn little to stem the electronic tsunami, but in all fairness a midget has no chance of dunking a basketball either.  They were and are midgets in stature and innovation.

Recently, ADO President, Mr. David Hascup, posted on Facebook “his response” to some comments that had been made about his stewardship of the American Darts Organization. The Old Dart Coach  has not taken part in these Facebook discussions for a number of reasons. But since Mr. Hascup alluded to the ODC in two instances, the ODC will now briefly answer the good Mr. Hascup.

Mr. Hascup’s first “point” was to question the statement, “In the USA, anyone can run for elected office!” The bolding and italicization were added by Mr. Hascup.

Wrote Mr. Hascup, This is a false statement posted in a recent article. There are rules in all organizations on who can run for office, including the President of the United States. As an example: I cannot just walk into a local Elks Lodge and run for office/position. I am not an Elks member.

Please notice the exclamation sign (also added by Mr. Hascup), as this indicates he is really steamed. He’s picking nits but that’s what he has to do to build a straw man.  What are the qualification to run for President of the United States?  Well the bar is set really high. You must have been born in the USA, lived here for 14 years and be at least 35 years old.  Of course, he’s comparing apples and persimmons but that’s his problem.

Then, he took issue with the statement, “In the USA, any legal citizen can vote!” Again, the emphasis was added by Mr. Hascup.

This, Mr. Hascup wrote, is another false statement. Many organizations, and the United States Elections, have rules in place to deny certain people from voting (criminal convicts). That aside, this actually proves the point of voting for an organizations office position. As a citizen, you are a member of the United States. Therefore, someone from England cannot come here and vote. I also cannot walk into an Elks Lodge and vote for my friend during the election. Again, I am not an Elks member.

Notice again the addition of an exclamation point. Now he’s really upset!!!

The reality is any of age citizen can vote unless they have forfeited the right by committing a felony. They can go to a judge and have their rights returned.  What darter has forfeited his right to vote?

In regard to his use of the Elks Club as an example, Mr. Hascup is 100% wrong, which does indicate that he’s consistent if nothing else.

(Full disclosure requires the Old Dart Coach to admit he’s not an Elk but a member of the Loyal Order of  Moose.)

To settle this once and for all, the ODC emailed a former high ranking member of both the ADO and the Benevolent and Protective Loyal Order of Elks asking about their voting and election rules. He answered as an Elk: “Yes, you can vote and you can run for any office but a Moose isn’t anything close to an Elk!”

Of course, Mr. Elk Friend is 100% correct. The Moose have “Mooseheart for children” and “Mooseheaven for seniors” while the Elks have Elkhart, Indiana.

Can we now all agree that Larry Butler is the “most decorated” American darter ever?  The latest addition to his resume is making it to the finals of the Winmau World Masters. This is America’s best showing since 1991 when Sandy Reitan (Green) defeated Norway’s Hege Lokken to become Winmau World Masters Champion (collecting £3,000). That same year, Yank Dave Kelly made it to the semifinals against Rod Harrington. Harrington would defeat defending champion Phil Taylor 3-1 for the title.  For his top 4 finish Kelly would also take home £3,000.

In this year’s semifinals, Butler fell behind Martin Adams 0-2 (in sets) in the race to five. At this point some turned from Winmau TV. The ODC’s padre would call them “Oh Yea of Little Faith.” The ODC pleads guilty. But Butler caught fire, winning four on the trot, tying the match at four and then winning the decider for the 5-4 win.

In the final against England’s Glen Durrant, falling behind 6-2, Butler couldn’t play catch-up, losing 7-3. Butler collected £10,000, a nice payday. For a full report on the Masters finals go to the ADO web site where Steve Brown has an excellent post.

As with anyone engaged in sport, Larry Butler has longevity on his side as, for many reasons, he has been able to compete at a high level as for 30-plus years. On any given day, Butler can and has been beaten but his body of work is unquestionable.

One of the truly talented players from yesteryear was David “Duck” Miller. Off the oche problems derailed his darting career.  His defeating those problems is a story of a championship campaign. He opines on Butler…

Larry Butler is an amazing dart player. He goes from placing 2nd in the World Masters, then flies to China and finishes top 8 in soft point and is in the finals of the team event – America lost to Japan – and leads the American Team in Turkey in the World Cup. 

ODC tip of the week: “Alcohol won’t solve your problems. Of course, water won’t either.”

Stay thirsty my friends.



  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.