Dartoid’s Column

Sepember 4, 2006
Column 272
Umby’s UnFranchise

For the past few months I’ve been talking with Jerry “Umby” Umberger about an idea he has to help aspiring darters achieve success. While I can’t claim to completely understand the idea and probably never will, let there be no doubt about Umberger’s motivations or that his idea …

August 23, 2006
Column 271
It’s Amazing What Happens When You Shake the Bushes!

I rustled the bushes once where I lived as a boy in Ohio and an empty bird’s nest fell into my mother’s garden. Down here in Florida small lizards scramble for cover. In other parts of the world where the bushes …

August 21, 2006
Column 270
The MMDL – Arrogant, Ignorant or just Misunderstood?

They say that where there’s smoke there’s fire but you never really know – not if the person or persons sniffing the smoke aren’t allowed in the house to explore. That’s the sum of the crisis currently swirling about the largest darts …

August 1, 2006
Column 269
Wimmenfolk, Rumpelmint and DARTS in the Ozarks

I don’t know ‘bout ya’ll but when I think of the Ozarks what pops into my noggin is hooters, and I done don’t mean that place with the chicken wings. No siree, Bob.

What I mean is Hooterville. Don’t nobody know fer shore …

July 17, 2006
Column 268
Philadelphia’s Bill Davis

Engraved above a mirror that hangs in my bedroom is a quote that has special significance to me: “Do the right thing every doggone day of your life.”

That’s my guidepost.

— Bill Davis
__________________________________________________________________________

Nickname: Bill … I think.
Date of Birth: March 6, 1959
Place …

July 14, 2006
Column 267
John Part is BACK (and so is the Asteroid!)

Sunday, July 2
As puzzled scientists continued to peer into their telescopes and, calculate, recalculate and debate the final destination of the giant mountain-sized asteroid, now called 2000 XP14, hurtling its way towards Planet Earth, in Las Vegas, unaware of the …

July 13, 2006
Column 266
A Royal Suck-arse Day for the British!

Saturday, July 1
Today was one of those days where those of the British persuasion wished they had a sack full of Mulligans. Only one thing went right for the Mother Country and that’s that they didn’t get knocked out of the World …

July 12, 2006
Column 265
Tommy Cox Disqualifies Gary Spedding and BANS Yoko Ono!

Friday, June 30
The World Cup quarter finals commenced today after a brief hiatus negotiated by PDC tournament director Tommy Cox “so the LVDC might be permitted to proceed undistracted.” The break was to last through the weekend but World Cup …

July 11, 2006
Column 264
US Defeats UK. Osama Blows up his Penis!

Thursday, June 29
Today is John Part’s fortieth birthday which in Canadian years means he is fifty. Part celebrated by wearing his own trousers and then seeing off Dutchman Roland Scholten in straight sets to move into tomorrow’s quarter finals, where he …