Dartoid

Monday, March 23, 2026
Column 711
Lead the world, Dart People – BOYCOTT McDonald’s

Ever since I first started throwing league darts, I have followed the same sacred after-match routine.

Straight to McDonald’s.

Two cheeseburgers and a small fry.

The burgers were never for me. They were for my dogs, who enthusiastically greeted my return …

Saturday, February 28, 2026
Column 710
Darts in the Islamic Republic of Iran (old, but timely)

While I had hoped business travel might coincide with the 13th staging of the Asia Pacific Cup in Kuala Lumpur in September, it was not to be. News reached me fast however and I was pleased to learn that …

Monday, February 16, 2026
Column 709
The Epstein Darts Invitational

You know you’ve slipped into an alternate darts universe when the venue offers juice boxes instead of pints, a hand-painted banner screams NO RUNNING WITH SHARP OBJECTS, and the air is thick with the unmistakable aroma of fish sticks.

Yes, the latest Dartoid’s World …

Saturday, January 31, 2026
Column 708
A (stolen) darts joke: A drunk staggers into a bar…

Really drunk. Can barely stand.

He slurs, “Bartender… gimme a martini.”

“Nope,” says the bartender. “You’ve had enough.”

The drunk notices a dartboard behind the bar.

“Fine. Gimme the darts.”

The bartender shrugs, hands him three darts – figuring …

Wednesday, January 21, 2026
Column 707
How Not to Get Played by a Puppy Pic

EDITOR’S NOTE: The information contained herein is opinion – the author’s perspective as a long-time observer of nonprofit fundraising practices. Its purpose is not to discourage charitable giving, but to encourage informed giving. Any references to executive compensation, fundraising …

Monday, January 19, 2026
Column 706
Confessions of a Charity Hustler – How Compassion Became a Business

Imagine this…

You get an email.

There’s a photo of a half-dead puppy. Crusted eyes. A twisted leg. Maybe a catchy name like Lucky.

Below it, a big friendly DONATE NOW button.

The copy promises your $25 will …

Saturday, January 3, 2026
Column 705
Luke Little is better than Phil Taylor ever was!

There are certain statements in darts that sound like heresy no matter how carefully they’re made. This is one of them:

Luke Littler is better than Phil Taylor ever was!

Not greater. Not more dominant. Not more accomplished.

Better.…

Monday, December 29, 2025
Column 704
Caracas, Venezuela

I staggered out of undergrad with a diploma, a vague sense of optimism, and an unearned confidence that the world was basically a pub with different accents. Then a good friend – caraqueño, born and raised in Venezuela – suggested I come visit for a while. …

Tuesday, December 23, 2025
Column 703
Leonard Gates and the Gap Between Talent and Touch

Every sport has its characters. Darts, being darts, may collect them faster than most.

And then, there’s Leonard Gates.

Gates is one of the most naturally gifted players the United States has produced in years. When he’s on, he throws …

Friday, December 12, 2025
Column 702
The Littler Phenomenon – Questions Asked and Answered

A couple of years ago, when Littlermania was still just the Luke Littler phenomenon, darts forums were awash with questions from wide-eyed newcomers – along with “answers” from armchair “experts” – covering every conceivable aspect of the game. Many were earnest, …

Monday, December 1, 2025
Column 701
Confessions of a Dart-addled Mind

There’s no known cure, and frankly, I wouldn’t take it if there were. Once you’ve thrown enough darts, the world starts to look… well, different.

A round dinner plate isn’t a plate – it’s a dartboard. A wall clock? Stop sign? Hubcaps?

Dartboard. Dartboard. …

Saturday, October 25, 2025
Column 699
Nothing in Hollywood is straight – especially dartboards

If you are anything like me, every time you spot a dartboard on television you shout, “Dartboard!” And if you are really like me, you immediately notice that it is almost always hung too low or too high.

Television and movie …

Friday, October 3, 2025
Column 698
Thank you for showing us how to live, Tina DiGregorio

It was with profound sadness that the darts community learned of the passing of Tina DiGregorio on August 8, 2025, in Gilbert, Arizona.

To those outside her circle, it may come as a surprise how deeply Tina influenced both …

Monday, September 8, 2025
Column 697
The Golden Triangle

“The heartland of Southeast Asia has always been on the edge of civilization.  The great empires, such as the Pagan in Burma, Sukhothai in Thailand and Angkor in Cambodia, were built in the plains, where rice grows easily and there are trade routes to the sea. …

Wednesday, August 20, 2025
Column 696
Stewie the Sloth Starts the Jungle Premier League

Once upon a time there was a sloth. His name was Stewie. He was slow, lazy, and always a little high from chewing funny jungle leaves. Stewie had never managed anything, never written more than a shopping list, and never finished …

Wednesday, August 15, 2025
Column 695
Tooth-and-claw Justice

In what may go down as the most karmically satisfying hypothetical obituary ever published – I regret to report that Duncan “The Troll” Blatherdick, serial grifter, self-proclaimed animal savior, pitiful dart player, and world-class donor-fleecer, was fatally mauled in Africa last Thursday by a lion named Temba.…

Wednesday, August 6, 2025
Column 694
Darts in Hiroshima

“I’m a travelin’ man, I’ve made a lot of stops all over the world,” cooed Ricky Nelson in 1961. The song was a massive hit, rising to the top of the charts. Teenage girls swooned. Not widely known is that the tune was written for Sam …

Friday, August 1, 2025
Column 693
What if a player faceplants?

Ah, the internet. That magical place where reason goes to die and dart players go to argue about flip-flops, monkeys, and Rule #449, Section 51, Paragraph 34.

Once upon a time – WAY BACK in 2014 – when the Darts Discussion Group was alive, …

Tuesday, July 15, 2025
Column 692
The 51st State of Darts: Welcome to Alaska2

So, Donald Trump wants to annex Canada. Yep. He wants the land of maple syrup, moose, and manners to join the land of Big Gulps, bald eagles, and people yelling “Let’s goooo!” in public for no reason.

Before you panic about …

Monday, June 30, 2025
Column 691
Darts of the Round Table

There are a few things you can always count on at your average darts tournament: the whiff of stale beer, a control desk manned by frazzled volunteers trying to locate someone named “Assassin180,” and boards lined up against the walls and spaced apart, bull …

Thursday, June 19, 2025
Column 690
Hey Trump – don’t blow up darts in Iran!

This 2007 column is old but perhaps worth sharing again given current circumstances.

____________________________________________________________

While I had hoped business travel might coincide with the 13th staging of the Asia Pacific Cup in Kuala Lumpur in September, it was not to …

Monday, June 9, 2025
Column 689
I miss you, Howie

There are voices in this game that have echoed longer than most of us have stood at the oche.

Howie Reed – known to many of you as The Old Dart Coach – was one of them.

For decades, Howie chronicled the world of darts …

Friday, June 6, 2025
Column 688
There’s a New Dart in Town

Well, not new exactly. The Dodge Dart has been around since the 1960s. It’s the kind of car your granddad might’ve done donuts in behind the drive-in theater – revving his tiny 4-cylinder like it was a ‘Cuda, hoping no one noticed he …

Monday, June 2, 2025
Column 687
Sangkhlaburi, Thailand – Dogs, Doing Good (and Darts?) at the Edge of the World

You don’t expect to find a dartboard at the edge of the Thai jungle. You definitely don’t expect to find it surrounded by rescue dogs, with the deafening hum of cicadas ringing through the trees. …

Tuesday, May 13, 2025
Column 686
The Darts Discussion Group is Dead.  What Happened?

It’s a mystery…

From January 1 to May 13, 2025, the once-thriving Darts Discussion Group (DDG) has recorded just 99 unique posts and a paltry 61 comments.

It wasn’t always this way.

In its heyday – especially in the early years …

Monday, May 12, 2025
Column 685
There’s More to Life Than Darts

In the wild, electrifying world of darts, it’s easy to lose yourself in the moment – the roar of the crowd, the pressure of a double, the rush of a comeback. For those of us who’ve lived it, breathed it, and traveled the …

Thursday, May 1, 2025
Column 684
Trump vs. Putin at the Great Darts Summit 

It was the showdown no one saw coming: Donald J. Trump versus Vladimir Putin in a darts duel at a Moscow dive bar named The Red Bullseye (no relation to the energy drink, though the bartender was suspiciously twitchy. (More on …

Tuesday, April 22, 2025
Column 683
An Open Letter to Eddie Hearn 

Dear Mr. Hearn,

With the utmost respect, I urge you – and the leadership at the Professional Darts Corporation – to consider inducting the late Houston Hartwell “Howie” Reed into the PDC Hall of Fame.

Over the course of his distinguished career covering …

Thursday, April 10, 2025
Column 682
Howie Reed – The Most Unforgettable Character I Ever Met 

This may be the most difficult column I’ve ever written…

The crazy thing is that the “plan” was not for me to write it.  Over the years, Howie and I often discussed this effort and reached the conclusion that …

Tuesday, April 1, 2025
Column 681
Darts in Cuba 

“Entering a totalitarian state,” wrote a recent traveler to Cuba of his arrival at Havana’s José Martí International Airport, “I expected more militaristic security. Instead, I was warmly welcomed by female immigration and security agents wearing uniforms that included shorts and patterned fishnet stockings. It was …

Saturday, March 15, 2025
Column 680
Darts players are generous – but BEWARE OF GRIFTERS!

One constant about dart players is they are generous – they support each other and causes they care about.  Leagues all over the world regularly run events to raise funds for various charities or to help players and families in …

Saturday, February 25, 2025
Column 679
Darts in Israel before the Hamas killers!

Shalom!

If you’re looking for a game of darts and don’t mind throwing in a joint where a suicide bomber might be sitting at the bar, I have a recommendation.  The name of the place is Café Noga.  Billed as an “old …

Monday, February 10, 2025
Column 678
Valentines are Fucked (an inappropriate guest column by Jerry Masterson, age 8, that has nothing to do with darts)

Valentines are fucked!  And while this sentence may be similar in theme to my previous column, “Kissing Girls is Fucked!” – they are both non-debatable points.

I will now …

Wednesday, January 22, 2025
Column 677
A trillion darts…

When I learned recently that President Elon Musk is projected to be a trillionaire within ten years I was reminded of an article by Jacqueline Leo in The Fiscal Times that caught my eye a while back.

Don’t ask me what I was doing reading The …

Wednesday, January 1, 2025
Column 676
Happy New Year!  For 2025, I resolve…

…to spend more time with my wife – to achieve this I will reduce my nights out throwing darts from five to four. On second thought, I think I’ll just take her to the bar with me.

I resolve to drink less …

Thursday, December 19, 2024
Column 676
When a friend betrays (or the reason Darts in Paadise was “CANCELLED”)

“A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”  This is the West Point Code of Honor.  They always said that in the civilian world the difficult part would be the last four words.…

Sunday, December 1, 2024
Column 675
Happy Holidays!

Dear Friends…

It is that time of year again to share with you Mrs. Dartoid’s and my adventures in this journey we call life.  2024 has been another year of magic and wonder…

Lori, who we adopted from Argentina in January, is almost three and quite a …

Friday, November 1, 2024
Column 674
How to Become a Superior Chalker

The Ten Commandments for Keeping Score 

Scorekeepers SHALL NOT:

1. Talk while keeping score!
2. Move about while keeping score.  Stand still!
3. Look at the shooter.  Stand facing the board!
4. Call out a score, of one …

Monday, October 7, 2024
Column 673
The Return of Mr. Darts Language Person!

With all the recent alarm about pandemics, wars and rigged elections I suppose it’s not surprising that my e-mail in-box has been pounded by darts folk with questions like, “Do you think the ADO is responsible?”

For the record I do not.  …

Monday, September 30, 2024
Column 672
The General and Mr. Magoo

Sitting at the table next to me at dinner was a tall, gray-haired man.  About seventy years of age, his hair was cropped tight, military style.  He was dressed casually in a blue, short sleeve shirt, pressed beige Dockers, and black loafers.  Back home …

Monday, September 7, 2024
Column 671
If a dart were to hit Earth at the speed of light…

…the event would be catastrophic due to the immense energy involved. Below is a detailed breakdown of the consequences.

[DISCLAIMER: A physicist (I don’t know who) wrote this.  I don’t understand a damn word of …

Monday, September 2, 2024
Column 670
Zack the monkey learns that reputations cannot be stolen

Once upon a time there was a monkey.  His name was Zack.  He was a dumb monkey but, he was not the president of a country.

Zack the monkey lived in Africa.

The other monkeys ate coconuts.  They knew where …

Tuesday, August 27, 2024
Column 669
Darts in Paradise – BAD NEWS!

The Darts in Paradise tournament and festival will not take place as planned and promoted for June 2025 in Cancun.

After a few weeks of uncertainty, my partner was asked by text on August 17th if the tournament was cancelled – the response …

Friday, June 28, 2024
Column 668
“Nuclear” Darts

“I’m a travelin’ man, I’ve made a lot of stops all over the world,” crooned Ricky Nelson in 1961. The song was a massive hit, rising to the top of the charts. Teenage girls swooned. Not widely known is that the tune was written for Sam …

Wednesday, May 15, 2024
Column 663
So, you’re not Luke Littler but want to become a darts millionaire…

Some years ago, I nearly puked the night before the Super Bowl. I’d turned on Regis Philban’s new show (Who Wants to be a Millionaire?) to be blasted with a full HOUR of questions …

Saturday, April 20, 2024
Column 662
IT’S ABOUT TIME AGAIN for Rocky’s Annual Roadside Outdoor Darts Tournament!

There’s Marciano, Graziano, Balboa, and the 41st Vice President of the United States…

You’ve got those big mountains.

And don’t forget the squirrel!

Then there’s “Rocky” the darts dude from Parkhill, Ontario, Canada.

Surely this guy – …

Monday, April 1, 2024
Column 661
Gaga for Gaga

I have experience interviewing, or at least trying to, women who don’t necessarily fit the stereotype of your typical Girl Next Door…

For example, back in the early 1970’s, I did a one-on-one with Deep Throat actress, Linda Lovelace for my college newspaper. Trust me …

Tuesday, February 27, 2024
Column 657
A great player’s years of unsportsmanlike behavior have prompted these words…

There have been some incidents on the American darts circuit that underscore the need for some sort of serious process, perhaps even a regulatory authority, to be established to sanction those who bring our sport into disrepute. In …

Friday, February 9, 2024
Column 654
Advice from my dog: “Shoot straight – like darts.”

It’s been a week now since my wife left town. Marylou, always organized, shipped her shoes ahead in a big box and then hopped on a flight to Houston. Her sister lives there. They were gonna go shopping. Probably for …

Friday, January 26, 2024
Column 649
Darts in Paris

If you’re at all like me the reason you took French in high school was because the teacher was a hot little number with a sexy voice named Miss Powell. Watching Miss Powell scribble cute little verbs on the blackboard was pretty special to me and …

Wednesday, January 10, 2024
Column 648
“Littler Effect” #2 – 15 more newbie questions/comments and “helpful” answers (ALL REAL!)

Q.  Any advice on electric scorers?

A.  Turn them on before use.

Q.  Any tips and advice on throwing better darts – like stance, throw, following through etc.?

A.  A good curry DOESN’T help with keeping …

Tuesday, January 9, 2024
Column 647
Who the HELL is Dartoid – and what posessed Paul Seigel to let him into his life?

It was an accident, a complete and total frickin’ accident, and right here and now I want to respectfully make my apologies to the world (and my wife!).

You must understand that, …

Monday, January 8, 2024
Column 646
“Littler Phenomena” spaws 21 newbie questions/comments and “helpful” answers…

The questions/comments and responses that follow are all entirely real…

Q.  When do you replace your flights?

A.  Every 18 minutes, otherwise you’ll never make it pro.

Q.  Does anyone know the distance from the board to the oche, …

Thursday, December 21, 2023
Column 644
A message for Eddie Hearn…

Dear Mr. Hearn…

Surely, I am not alone in saying the World Championship has been FANTASTIC so far – if only I was 16 and could hit a double!

As the excitement continues to unfold and as the players continue to dazzle, may I …

Wednesday, December 13, 2023
Column 642
Dartoid INTERVIEWED!

Crazy as it may seem, Dartoid’s World was recently asked for an interview by a college business school student named Samantha. Below is my reply.

Hello Sammy…

It is a great honor to be asked for an interview. When I learned that you were interested in my …

Friday, November 17, 2023
Column 639
THANK YOU SO MUCH!

A month ago, I posted the message below appealing for help for a remote sanctuary in Thailand that was in desperate need.  “Sanctuary forced to the brink of closure,” I wrote.  “Forego a beer or two and help.  Please.”  I was overwhelmed by the number …

Wednesday, November 8, 2023
Column 638
The Buckeye Open I didn’t attend…

With the annual Ohio State vs. Michigan football game just a couple of weeks away I am reminded of the last time I attended a game with my father…

But first, a prediction: Ohio State 41 – Michigan 6.  Michigan, which has …

Wednesday, October 17, 2023
Column 635
Darts and hacky sack with the rabbis in Iran

A few years back, there was a surprise at the 13^th staging of the Asia-Pacific Cup in Kuala Lumpur…

Among the countries competing (Malaysia, Japan, Singapore, China-Hong Kong, Pakistan, Brunei-Darussalam and the Philippines) was a newcomer to the darting …

Tuesday, October 10, 2023
Column 634
Darts before the Hamas killers.  STAND WITH ISRAEL!

Shalom! 

If you’re looking for a game of darts and don’t mind throwing in a joint where a suicide bomber might be sitting at the bar, I have a recommendation.  The name of the place is Café Noga.  Billed as an …

Saturday, October 7, 2023
Column 633
Sanctuary forced to the brink of closure.  Forego a beer or two and help.  PLEASE!

Please consider this URGENT appeal to help save rescued street dogs from losing the only home they’ve ever known.  If you cannot help please at least share this!

The Sangkhlaburi Animal Sanctuary in …

Tuesday, October 3, 2023
Column 632
This trip I should have left my darts at home!

“The heartland of Southeast Asia has always been on the edge of civilization.  The great empires, such as the Pagan in Burma, Sukhothai in Thailand and Angkor in Cambodia, were built in the plains, where rice grows easily and …

Thursday, September 21, 2023
Column 631
Five suggestion for the new ADO leadership…

The new American Darts Organization president, the well-liked and highly regarded player Jim Widmayer, has the potential – the opportunity – to be the most effective ADO leader in ages and new vice president Jeff Olson, also a good guy and excellent …

Monday, September 18, 2023
Column 630
Are you a darts addict?

You might be a redneck if you think a family reunion is a good place to pick up girls.  You might be Jewish if your greatest athletic achievement was in debate.  If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but …

Monday, September 11, 2023
Column 629
The Old Dart Coach, perfect darts and a poodle named Pierre

Remarkably, amidst the usual gibberish posted at the Darts Discussion Group no one yet has related the story of the man who threw perfect darts.

Nigel Brown hailed from Hawkshead in the UK’s beautiful Lake District.  He wasn’t …

Thursday, August 31, 2023
Column 628
Dart people love animals!

One of the amazing things about the darts community is that they help each other – and in many cases animals too.  That’s what I do in real life – provide fundraising counsel to charities that come to the aid of animals around the world.…

Wednesday, August 27, 2023
Column 627
IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME A DAMN BIT!

Okay, so I just turned fifty years old…

I’m not keeping track of time.  Really.  I don’t care.  I DON’T!

It doesn’t bother me at all.  Not a bit.

It DOESN’T!

I feel the same as I did when I was younger, …

Wednesday, August 9, 2023
Column 626
Takin’ out BIG FINISHES – at the grocery!

If you’re anything like me – married and male – you seldom go to the grocery, except to buy beer or, perhaps, on weekend game days to tag along with your wife and fill up on the sample products the little …

Wednesday, August 2, 2023
Column 625
VIVA LAS VEGAS!

With planning for the January 19-20, 2024, Golden Era Dart Players Stacy Bromberg Senior Open well under way (much more to follow) my thoughts have already turned to yet another trip to Las Vegas.

Blasphemous as it may be, if I am to be honest, each …

Thursday, July 27, 2023
Column 624
Remembering Stacy Bromberg

This is old but apropos – Stacy would have been 66 today.

STAY TUNED FOR DETAILS about the Stacy Bromberg Senior Dart Open (January 19 and 20, 2024 – in Las Vegas) to benefit her favorite charity, the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

_____________________________________________________________

Today, at King David Mortuary …

Monday, July 17, 2023
Column 624
Chicago – my kinda town!

When I blew into the Windy City, I headed straight for what is arguably one of the best darts bars in the States and got blown right back out… by a computer!

Now, I’ve probably whiled away more hours in more darts bars in …

Monday, July 10, 2023
Column 623
The night I threw against Philadelphia’s late, great Ray Fischer – 20 years ago!

A team came from jolly olde England, to fun city, on St Patrick’s Day
“The best in the world,” they were touted, when they came to the U.S. to play
It is true that they …

Thursday, July 6, 2023
Column 622
Darts in the “Last Eden” – Congo’s Nouvabale Ndoke Forest

To get to where I threw darts last night required a harrowing three-hour flight in a beat-up old Cessna – without maps or radar – through stormy African skies.  To stay safely (more or less) below the turbulence we …

Thursday, June 29, 2023
Column 621
Darts on Cape Cod… and “Chaos Theory”

It was 1996 when my wife and I last stopped by my local darts supply store (Truman’s, 608 Main Street, Route #28, West Yarmouth, on Cape Cod) to pat the head of the dog that hung out there, a sad-eyed mixed breed …

Tuesday, June 28, 2023
Column 620
The origin, history and future of darts

Genesis

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  The earth was formless and empty; darkness was over the surface of the deep.  And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.”  Then God did some other stuff.  …

Tuesday, June 20, 2023
Column 619
Donald Trump is welcome on my darts team ANYTIME!

Facebook went crazy on me recently.  Long story short – I lost three accounts and all my darts friends.  (Except for an occasional joke, I use Facebook for nothing but to stay current with goings-on in the wide, wide world …

Tuesday, June 7, 2023
Column 618
It’s COOP time!

I don’t know ‘bout ya’ll but when I think of the Ozarks what pops into my noggin is hooters, and I done don’t mean that place with the chicken wings.  No siree, Bob.

What I mean is Hooterville.  Don’t nobody know fer shore where that is …

Tuesday, September 8, 2022
Column 617
OUTRAGEOUS!  The ADO has gotta GO!

Yesterday, former ADO president David Hascup took no issue with current ADO vice president, Matt Stoner’s transparent reference to Howie Reed and others, no doubt me, who have long seen the ADO for the sham it is, when Stoner posted: “I just lump …

Wednesday, September 14, 2022
Column 616
Almost 25 years ago… at Blueberry Hill

As the St. Louis Blueberry Hill tournament just celebrated its 50th anniversary, the occasion seems appropriate to share the following ditty from almost 25 years ago.  This year’s winner, Gavin Nicoll, wasn’t even born…

It was in Sports Illustrated.  I swear …

Wednesday, August 31, 2022
Column 615
Girls, Geezers and Greece

First, let me extend heartfelt thanks to everybody who recently sent notes to wish me a happy 40th birthday.  I particularly appreciated the perfumed letters (and photos) from Bar Refaeli, Elin Nordegren and Heidi Klum.  To kick off the day, I had chocolate cake for …

Tuesday, June 21, 2022
Column 614
Are the WDF and ADO changing their names?

So, the PDC World Cup is over.  Congratulations to the winning Australian team of Damon Heta and the guy from ZZ Top.

Now, as we plod through months of less exciting darts leading up to the World Championship in December, we …

Monday, May 16, 2022
Column 613
Enough is enough is ENOUGH!

I am running this column again because some people have asked me why I have blocked them…

Darts and politics don’t mix!  Not in my world anyway…

“For some time, I have been working on a column, struggling…” I wrote to a friend …

Thursday, April 14, 2022
Column 612
The girls had WILLIES!

The guy’s name was Nigel or Neil or something similar, not that his name matters.  He was the only foreigner, a Brit, employed among the large staff of botanists at the famous Nong Nooch Tropical Garden near Bang Saray, just east of Pattaya, Thailand.  He …

Wednesday, March 16, 2022
Column 611
Darts in Red Square (or FUCK YOU, Putin!)

With all that is happening in the world right now (FUCK YOU, Putin!) it seems an appropriate time to revisit the 32 days I spent riding a bike through Russia.  It was a pain in the butt.  Literally…

What …

Monday, February 7, 2022
Column 610
A Tribute to Romy – by Mrs. Dartoid

Twelve years is a long time by any standard.  It can see a child from prepubescence through adulthood, a young adult from college through marriage and a family of their own.

Twelve years by measures of the heart can be a …

Friday, January 7, 2022
Column 609
My dart room is under ATTACK!

I used to throw league with a great player from Houston named Dave “Buddha” Fasnacht.  He helped me with my stance and my grip and my mental game – and he gave me some advice that I’ve been trying to follow ever since.  …

Wednesday, NOvember 25, 2021
Column 608
All fables have a moral (I suspect John Lowe will agree!)

Once upon a time there was a monkey.  His name was Mickey.  He was a dumb monkey but, he was not the president of a country.

Mickey the monkey lived in Africa.

The other monkeys ate coconuts.  They …

Wednesday, October 22, 2021
Column 607
The General and Mr. Magoo

Sitting at the table next to me at dinner was a tall, gray-haired man.  About seventy years of age, his hair was cropped tight, military style.  He was dressed casually in a blue, short sleeve shirt, pressed beige Dockers, and black loafers.  Back home …

Wednesday, September 28, 2021
Column 606
RIP, Errol Magtubo

Yesterday, I lost another darts friend from the Philippines (Errol Magtubo).  Last October, Mon Sabalboro succumbed to Covid.  What is happening to the world!

The column below from 2002 doesn’t describe my first visit to the Philippines but it does recount the wild night I met …

Tuesday, September 14, 2021
Column 605
Fortunate, humbled, sad and proud – there’s more to life than darts!

When I flipped on my laptop and polled for messages, buried among the list was a curious return address: [email protected].  Could it be?  I immediately clicked away.

The e-mail was from John Lowe.  One of the greatest …

Saturday, September 11, 2021
Column 604
As the World Cup heats up, a word about willies and women…

Today’s Dartoid’s World issue is a joke but not of the sort readers have grown accustomed to finding in this space.  It’s not about any of the screwy things that are found out and about the wacky …

Monday, August 9, 2021
Column 603
Whoopin’ darts ass in Paradise!

Far be it from me to steer anyone away from a couple weeks of sun and fun in Puerto Vallarta – the place is amazing.

Pristine beaches etch endlessly into the sunset.  Bikinis are everywhere.  The nightlife runs into morning – the Dos Equis …

Tuesday, July 27, 2021
Column 602
Drag Queens, Darts and the Old Dart Coach in Key West

A ten-year-oldie… how time flies!

In the last installment of Dartoid’s World I found myself in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia – the coldest national capital on the planet.  Somewhere in the countryside yaks wandered the frozen tundra while I pounded …

Tuesday, July 13, 2021
Column 601
WAKE UP!  SEE THE LIGHT!

If you are a league that is still sending dues to the ADO or a player who attends tournaments “sanctioned” by the ADO (and hence adding funds to their coffers via a surcharge on your entry fees) and you are not aware of the …

Friday, June 25, 2021
Column 600
EIGHTEEN YEARS!

It been more than 18 years since the American Darts Organization has shared a financial report.

REPEAT: EIGHTEEN YEARS!

With all the social media discussion recently (and the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed’s recent column) about whether that ADO has filed for bankruptcy (and the “defense” …

Friday, May 21, 2021
Column 599
The World Seniors Dart Championship deserves massive support.  And Larry Butler!

To quote the greatest of them all, darts fans should be “over the moon” at news of the upcoming World Seniors Darts Championship.  I certainly am.

But then I’d much rather watch an old Ali-Frasier fight than any …

Friday, May 14, 2021
Column 598
Goodbye old friends…

I am posting this column again because some people have asked me why I have blocked them…

Darts and politics don’t mix!  Not in my world anyway…

“For some time, I have been working on a column, struggling really,” I wrote to a friend recently.

Writer’s …

Tuesday, March 9, 2021
Column 597
Step #1 – Getting to the pub!

Under normal circumstances the act of going down to the pub for a few beers and a night at the oche is a simple maneuver.  You grab your darts, the keys to the car and roll.  You then drink too much, throw …

Wednesday, January 20, 2021
Column 596
Darts and politics DON’T MIX!

“For some time, I have been working on a column, struggling really,” I wrote to a friend recently.

Writer’s block?  No.  I never have a problem putting words to paper.

It’s worse…

Although I don’t throw competitively much these days most of my closest …

Thursday, December 31, 2020
Column 595
Goodbye 2020!  Hello 2021!

My plans for welcoming the New Millennium were set 26 years ago (now 47!) in Kalamazoo, Michigan.  In fact, when the beer ran out and as the sun began to cast its glow across the snow on the first morning of 1974, my roommates and …

Tuesday, December 15, 2020
Column 594
The Greatest World Championship Final Ever!

As the PDC world championship moves into full swing it seems worth sharing again (from May 2003) a replay of what many believe was the greatest world championship final ever…

In 1999, I sat down in a bar outside of Toronto to interview …

Friday, October 30, 2020
Column 593
They called him “Supermon” – and he was!

He was a super darts player. He was a super dancer. He was a super husband and father.

And he was a super friend.

Sadly, Raymon “Mon” Sabalboro succumbed to coronavirus complications on September 26. He was 61.

It was Steve …

Thursday, August 20, 2020
Column 592
Setting the record straight, again!

After almost 25 years of publishing columns and books about darts it should come as no surprise that I am asked a lot of questions – but not about darts. Most often I am asked about women and elephants. I suppose this is because …

Monday, July 27, 2020
Column 591
Remembering Stacy Bromberg on her birthday…

A few years ago, at King David Mortuary in Las Vegas, Nevada, along with a couple hundred others from as far away as England and Japan, I said good-bye to one of my best friends ever.  Stacy Bromberg was just 60 years old.  …

Tuesday, July 21, 2020
Column 590
Ant ATTACK!

Some years ago, I threw league darts with a former pro from Houston named Dave “Buddha” Fasnacht. He helped me with my stance and my grip and my mental game. And he gave me some advice that I’ve been trying to follow ever since. According to Buddha …

Monday, June 8, 2020
Column 589
Johnny

Mark Twain once described India as a “land of dreams and romance, of fabulous wealth and fabulous poverty, of splendor and rags, of palaces and hovels… of genii and giants and Aladdin lamps.” Rudyard Kipling wrote of India’s “heat and smells and oils and spices and puffs of …

Sunday, May 24, 2020
Column 588
Diddling Miss Powell

If you’re at all like me the reason you took French in high school was because the teacher was a hot little number with a sexy voice named Miss Powell. Watching Miss Powell scribble cute little verbs on the black board was pretty special to me …

Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Column 586
Is somebody murdering dart players?

Down here in the “Real Texas,” Amarillo to be precise (where the phrase “nice bull” doesn’t generally refer to a little red circle on a dart board), darter Ray Fournier of the West Texas Darts Association (WTDA) weaved a tale that simply has to …

Wednesday, January 8, 2020
Column 585
Hey Trump – please spare darts in Iran!

This 2007 column is old but perhaps worth sharing again given current circumstances.

____________________________________________________________

While I had hoped business travel might coincide with the 13th staging of the Asia Pacific Cup in Kuala Lumpur in September, it was not to be. …

Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Column 584
Happy New Year!

My plans for welcoming the New Millennium were set 26 years ago (now 45!) in Kalamazoo, Michigan. In fact, when the beer ran out and as the sun began to cast its glow across the snow on the first morning of 1974, my roommates and I …

Thursday, December 12, 2019
Column 583
Baggish, Campbell, Young – can they do it?

As the holiday season begins and the 2020 PDC world championship moves into full swing – with £2.5 million on offer (an amazing £500,00 to the winner) – talk within the North America darts community naturally keeps coming back to an …

Monday, December 7, 2019
Column 582
The mysterious disappearance of the Old Dart Coach!

As many have heard by now Howie Reed aka the “Old Dart Coach” (to darts fans around the world), the “Manor Lord” (to boxing fans around the world) and “Mr. Wonderful” (to more women than even Wilt Chamberlain has known) has …

Monday, December 2, 2019
Column 581
Capone!

A while back I blew into the Windy City, headed straight for what is arguably one of the best darts bars in the States and got blown right back out… by a computer!

Now, I’ve probably whiled away more hours in more darts bars in more cities in …

Monday, November 18, 2019
Column 580
An oldie for my friends, Rocky and Lisa Wilcox

Last night I threw darts on a chessboard.

Amidst three-foot high knights and rooks on a checkered slab of cement I played cricket with a shapely native girl named Tanika. Behind me the sun seemed to levitate before disappearing beyond …

Friday, November 1, 2019
Column 579
The Darts “Warthog Distraction”

About an hour ago, by candle-light and with a half-dozen warthogs grunting their approval only yards behind the line, I took out 109 here in western Uganda at the Mweya Lodge on the Kazinga peninsula in Queen Elizabeth National Park. In consideration of the conditions, …

Tuesday, October 17, 2019
Column 578
Nigel Brown – the man who never missed the bullseye!

Remarkably, amidst the usual gibberish posted at the Darts Discussion Group no one yet has related the story of the man who threw perfect darts.

Nigel Brown hailed from Hawkshead in the UK’s beautiful Lake District. He wasn’t a …

Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Column 577
Darts near the Kremlin

For thirty-two days my life was a pain in the ass. Literally.

What was originally to be a week-long Guinness tasting holiday in Dublin with three buddies somehow turned into a month-long, 2,000-mile, bike ride from Dublin to Moscow. Don’t ask me how this happened. …

Monday, September 23, 2019
Column 576
Darts in Paradise

Far be it from me to steer anyone away from a couple weeks of sun and fun in Puerto Vallarta – the place is amazing.

Pristine beaches etch endlessly into the sunset. Bikini-clad girls are everywhere. The nightlife runs into morning – the Dos Equi’s flow. …

Thursday, August 1, 2019
Column 575
The difference between the CDC (and PDC) and the ADO

You may remember the day when (thanks to the late Charles Schulz, whose words I’ve embellished a bit) Charlie Brown, Lucy and Linus were relaxing on the side of a hill looking at cloud formations in the sky…

Lucy …

Monday, July 1, 2019
Column 574
Darts survives perfect storm in Fukushima, Japan

First came the 9.0 magnitude earthquake. Then a towering tsunami that raged inland for miles, sweeping to their death more than 15,000 people and countless animals.

Then it got worse, much worse.

In what would become a catastrophic nuclear meltdown, claimed by …

Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Column 573
How to Master the Game of Cricket – a book review

Full disclosure: Mesa, Arizona’s Jason Carter and I have a history. It dates to when I took issue with an article he wrote about MAPP (Minimum Advertising Price Policies). It was riddled with inaccuracies and fundamentally argued that …

Thursday, May 9, 2019
Column 572
Shoe for Dart, again!

Ronnie “Rocket” Baxter, who once demolished me repeatedly one evening at CD’s Lounge in Las Vegas, was recently asked in a Facebook post what type of shoe is best for darts.

His answer: trainers. In American lingo that’s tennis shoes.

This may or may not …

Monday, April 29, 2019
Column 571
Darts in Hiroshima, Japan

“I’m a travelin’ man, I’ve made a lot of stops all over the world,” cooed Ricky Nelson in 1961. The song was a massive hit, rising to the top of the charts. Teenage girls swooned. Not widely known is that the tune was written for …

Monday, April 8, 2019
Column 570
Darts near the River Kwai

If you’re a whistler there are handful of tunes you no doubt have in your repertoire.

While the “top” lists of anything are subjective if you’re a whistler you will agree “The Fishin’ Hole” and “Colonel Bogey March” belong near the apex of any …

Thursday, February 14, 2019
Column 569
Valentines are Fucked (an inappropriate guest column by Jerry Masterson, age 8, that has nothing to do with darts)

Valentines are fucked!  And while this sentence may be similar in theme to my previous column, “Kissing Girls is Fucked!” – they are both non-debatable points.

I will now relate …

Friday, February 1, 2019
Column 568
Love letters to the ‘Toid

It’s amazing, but true. I receive fan mail.

For example, the other day I received the following note from someone named Lester. Lester seems to think that I need help walking the fine line between making a point and pissing off the entire fifty …

Tuesday, December 11, 2018
Column 567
The Ultimate Darts Advantage

With the World Championship just days away and then the Pee Wee World Championship to follow at Lakeside, when one considers the lengths to which a darter will go when searching for something – anything, including farts – to give themselves an advantage, it …

Wednesday, November 7, 2018
Column 566
In the days before DartConnect

In the old days before DartConnect, someone named Sarah Parsons chiseled into a block of stone what became revered as the Ten Commandments for Keeping Score.

Scorekeepers SHALL NOT:

1. Talk while keeping score!
2. Move about while keeping score. Stand still!
3. Look at the shooter.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Column 565
Do dogs understand darts?

It occurred to me after reading a Dave Barry commentary about whether dogs watch television that it was far past time to address one of the most vital of life’s mysteries. It’s a question that has perplexed the world’s best thinkers ever since the hairy …

Saturday, September 28, 2018
Column 564
Darts in America – 2000 vs. 2018

According to a survey conducted in the year 2000 by the American Darts Organization the average dart player in this country was 38 years old. This suggests that today on average you and I are about 56. In my case (and the …

Monday, August 27, 2018
Column 563
Rest in Peace, John McCain

Tucked away somewhere in the “sweaty hubbub of Vietnam’s capital of Hanoi is an air-conditioned oasis of American military life they call ‘The Ranch.’” According to Newsweek’s chief political correspondent, Howard Fineman, the installation is equipped with “basketball and volleyball courts, clipped lawns, a …

Monday, August 6, 2018
Column 562
Still more darts wanderlust (Cape Town and Bangkok)

“Now when I was a little chap,” recalled Joseph Conrad at the beginning of Heart of Darkness, “I had a passion for maps. I would look for hours at South America, or Africa, or Australia, and lose myself in all the …

Tuesday, July 17, 2018
Column 561
Preparing for darts in Cape Town

As I take aim at checking out the darts scene in Cape Town, South Africa (hopefully with a meet up arranged by PDC professional Devon Petersen) I am reminded of one of my more unusual experiences, from 1997… ______________________________________________________________________________

I’ve thrown darts in …