Howie Reed

Friday, December 23, 2011
Column HR61
Merry Christmas… and don’t hit on a chick named Holly with an Adam’s apple!

‘Tiz that time of the year when we join together to sing at the top of our baby voices, “Deck the halls with balls from Holly.”

Balls from Holly?

Well yes, as Holly use to …

Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Column HR60
Stay thirsty my friends and thanks!

Anyone with a scintilla of an education (a GED works here) knows that the phrase “Go West Young Man” was coined by Horace Greeley. Its genesis is attributed to an 1865 New York Times editorial encouraging young men to move west to take …

Friday, November 11, 2011
Column HR59
Some free advice for Chris Helms

In his many years staggering down the tungsten trail the Old Dart Coach never accused the “Godfathers” of the WDF of being of being fissiparous. The thought never entered either of the brain cells that had not been affected by copious amounts of …

Friday, October 28, 2011
Column HR58
Goblins, Werewolves and CRYBABIES

It’s the time of the year, as the leaves turn orange and goblins appear, that Toeing the Oche rolls out its annual Halloween column. Whoops, as the Old Dart Coach has just been reminded, “there is no annual Halloween column,” which most would agree poses …

Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Column HR57
Brendan “Cinderfella” Dolan

“The report of my death was been greatly exaggerated” was the text of a telegram sent by Mark Twain to the New York Journal after the newspaper reported his death. Twain was in London at the time, probably sharing a few pints, tossing a few darts …

Sunday, October 2, 2011
Column HR56
Who are we? Bums.

When growing up – okay, let me rephrase that – as he was getting older the Old Dart Coach often heard his parents answer his consistent whining with a quote from Psalm 37:39-40, commonly spoken as “The Lord helps those who help themselves.” The ODC …

Friday, September 16, 2011
Column HR55
Buddy, Buddy, Buddy – your silence speaks loudly.

Toss the name Sextus Aurelius Propertius around at a dart tournament and you’ll likely collect a bag full of “brook trout looks.” Brook trout looks? That’s when you look into someone’s eyes and, in the words of Gertie Stein, “there is …

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Column HR54
The ADO Caved to a Cabal of Ego-driven Dictators

Long before the Old Dart Coach was the ODC he was a grad student at San Jose State College, now San Jose State University. Interesting that, he attended both Oregon State College and San Jose State College and once he …

Thursday, September 1, 2011
Column HR53
Stacy Bromberg wuz ROBBED!

With the PDC back from their summer holiday at the Canadian Players Championships at the Hilton London in Ontario the Old Dart Coach is on one of his incessant rants…

With over 100 local players entered, one would think the PDC event should be the …

Sunday, August 21, 2011
Column HR52
Oily Croft and the Gang

With the PDC taking a summer break the Old Dart Coach was sitting on his rather large divan (which is not a piece of furniture) musing (which is always dangerous). He was musing in a semi-deep funk because he actually made a mistake. He …