Dartoids World

Column #HR436 “My God, the Bridge!”

Wednesday, November 9, 2023
Column HR436 
“My God, the Bridge!” 

Those words often escaped the mouth of the late Irene Maude Reed, the mother of the Old Dart Coach.  That expression was used many times due to something her son had done.  It was either that or concern about a possible baby switch at the hospital.  “You’re no son of mine!”

Today, “WTF” replaces “MGTB”.

Two items recently hit the dart world like a Gary Anderson “SUD” (Silent but Deadly) gamesmen ploy, which he denied.  The latest Anderson quote: “Saying all the time you don’t practice is really bloody irritating”.  (Said the man that doesn’t practice.)

The first bomb landed when Fallon Sherrock was awarded a MBE (Member of the Order of the British Empire).  “Sherrock was recognized for her services to the sport of darts in the 2023 King’s Birthday Honors List and was presented with the accolade at an investiture ceremony (last) Wednesday by Prince William.  Sherrock now joins fellow darters the late Eric Bristow, John Lowe and female star Trina Gulliver.”  Phil Tayor was nominated for the MBE, but the nomination was rescinded when he had a “kerfuffle” in a caravan.

Roger Nickson aka Dixon: “You get nominated for a MBE and people get behind the nomination with support.  Please, I have my own opinion of who is the world’s best lady player but with the support of the PDC and SKY she has pushed the Ladies game into the limelight and that can only be good for the game”.

The announcement brought forth dart experts, with their opinions that no one asked for.  One expert posted: “Why, she’s won nothing of note?”

One answer: “I am sorry, I cannot converse with ignorance”. 

No problem for Dixon.  “’Nothing of note?’  Of course, not – WOMEN’S WORLD MATCHPLAY, 15 x WOMEN’S PDC EVENTS, BRITISH OPEN, ENGLAND OPEN, VIRTUALLY EVERY EUROPEAN OPEN and countless more available to her and has played around 35% of her darts in men’s opens in the last 3 years.  Please say what you think but don’t make up stories – she is a prolific winner.”

ODC chimed in.  “The lady was nominated.  It’s a mystery why anyone would want to diminish her achievements.  It must be miserable to live their life as haters.

In need of a brief respite the ODC walked through the louvered doors of his favorite pub.  It was alive with chatter about horse racing.  Most of the dart geezers were deep in their cups as two bets on the Breeders World Cup came asunder.  Both BeerCanMan (not Bud Light) and NoBalls (a victim of the ultimate change) lost.

The chatter then turned to the Sun newspaper’s list of the Ten Best Dart Players of all time (it’s impossible to select from various eras).  The Sun printed their qualifications and opinions…

“Anybody arguing against Taylor being named the greatest darts player of all time probably needs their head examined.  In his pomp, The Power was unbeatable and had no equal, dominating the sport throughout the 1990s and 2000s.  As ever, lists like this always generate enormous debate.  Candidates have been judged on their displays at world level, longevity and impact on the sport.”

  1. Phil Taylor
  2. Eric Bristow
  3. Michael van Gerwen
  4. Raymond van Barneveld
  5. Gary Anderson
  6. John Lowe
  7. Martin Adams
  8. John Part
  9. Glenn Durrant
  10. Dennis Prestly

The ODC questions both Martin Admas and Glenn Durrant on the list.  Both had no effect on the World Stage.  Many voiced their opinions…  

“Taylor’s a terrible bloke,” from one.

The best on the subject comes from Robbie Philips.  “I’ve always been a fan of the BDO, now WDF, but I can’t bring myself to count those titles after the split.  It leads to arguments like the guy in your league that won B division 5 times was better than the guy that won A division 3 times.  I’m in no way saying it isn’t a great accomplishment, it’s not the same.  The depth of talent has always been with the PDC.  Cream always rises to the top.  To be a major champion, you have to the play the major competition.  Tough for me to include someone like Martin Adams on this list.” 

The ODC’s list would start with three tied for first: Taylor, Bristow and Lowe in no particular order.  Lowe and Bristow carried the game, spreading it worldwide without television.  Then, add Bob Anderson and Jocky Wilson, going on from there.   

With the Lakeside WDF “Lakeside World Championships” on the horizon three of the four Yanks are in action on the first two days (it’s funny that the President of the WDF is Canadian but there no Canadian players).

For the Ladies it’s their World Cup.  Paula Murphy gets no break as she faces Spain’s Almudena Fajardo who made the quarter finals by beating Mikuru Suzuki in 2023.  The ADO President, Jim Widmayer, faces Patrik Kovacs and Leonard Gates plays Brian Corbett (New Zealand).  Ranked #6 Danny Lauby enters the fray in the second round.

Out of the mouth of babes comes wisdom.  Everybody has an excuse for not winning.  The best ever comes from a Canadian lass who said after losing a singles final: “I played okay ’till I didn’t.”

The Mr. Vegas Grand Slam of Darts (November 11-19 with £150,000 for first) has both Fallon Sherrock MBE and Beau Greaves in separate groups of four.  Two from each group advance.  Fallon faces MvG, Rob Cross and Martin Kleermaker.  Greaves faces Nathan Aspinall, Damon Heta and Ricardo Pietreczko.  Sherrock and Greaves could only meet in the quarter finals if neither wins their group – which a longer shot than NoBalls having a great stud career.

Owen Bates qualified for the PDC World Darts Championships and immediately found himself in the PDC doghouse for his nickname.  The PDC acted quickly to inform Mr. Bates that he needed to changed his nickname from “Master”.  His dart manufacturer noted that “Owen ‘Master’ Bates was too hot for TV.”

It’s well known that the ODC enjoys the bar scene in Thailand.  Three new ones he’ll hit: the “Stop Thinking and Start Drinking Bar”, the “Big B’s Bar” (renamed the “No Bra Bar”), and the “Don’t Be a Dick Bar”.

Stay thirsty my friends.

 

Author

  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.

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