Dartoids World

Column #HR398 SIDE BAR SALOON (par deux)

Wednesday, March 15, 2023
Column HR398 
SIDE BAR SALOON (par deux)

Back at the Side Bar Saloon, the Old Dart Coach met with a flurry of attacks.  His attempt recently to show Cricket was in decline by comparing ’01 singles with Cricket singles entries at the Port City Classic was soundly (and fairly) dismissed.  Although there were fewer Cricket entries (144) than ’01 entries (214) the example was flawed.  There were two contributing factors other than declining popularity to explain the shortage of Cricket entries at Port City: 1) the tournament ran late, and Cricket was the last event and 2) a hellish storm hit and caused many darters to scurry for home.

NEWS FLASH: The American Darts Organization was rocked to it’s very foundation when “Hi  I’m Matt Stoner  ADO Vice President” resigned effective immediately.  I have stepped down.  I reached a point where darts is no longer fun.  My thoughts and vision for grassroots  no longer aligns with the sitting board and the direction leadership wishes.  You will see me at two more tournaments this year (White Mountain and Witch City).  

Stoner’s “I’m a victim tear jerker” reads like a Kamala Harris Word Salad.  To state the obvious, he was PART of the ADO “leadership” (an oxymoron if ever there was one).  To claim that ADO president Tom Sawyer and the board do not agree with his “vison”… well, “cry me a river”.  Poor baby.

In early November, the ODC had a phone conversation with Mr. Stoner…

Howie Reed… this is Matt Stoner Vice President of the ADO.  So, you Howie Reed are attempting to run a tournament at the only tournament the ADO runs?  

Yes, but…  

I’m asking the question here.  Unless you apologize for your bashing of the ADO and the money you have cost them the ADO will not allow any events in the venue.

Bet the “leadership” agreed with him then.

Stoner ended his resignation announcement with, and then it’s that long somber ride into the sunset for me. 

Am surprised he didn’t borrow from General Douglas MacArthur’s farewell: Old Soldiers never die they just fade away. 

To state the obvious again: there wasn’t a dry eye in the ODC’s command center.

MORE ADO.  A big congratulations to the ADO board which voted to suspend the WDF playing rules for WDF events that are hosted by the ADO and ADO-member associations, in regards to the dress code and alcoholic beverages in the playing area.  

Still, one must ask how the ADO can override the WDF rules?

A post on Virginia Moose Darts (yes, the ODC is a Moose) queried, Why isn’t there a zoo where people can go and watch drunks do stupid things? 

Answer?  There is – it’s called a dart tournament.

Before he resigned, “I’m  Matt Stoner” told the ADO Board there are 16 opportunities for WDF events, but only 9 are filled.  Let me know, he said, if a tournament in (an) area… is at all interested in WDF-ranking.

If by magic, Virginia Beach went back to becoming a WDF tournament.

One must ask:

Why was “I’m Matt Stoner” pimping for the WDF instead of the ADO?

Why was the ADO allowed to overrule WDF rules?

PREMIER LEAGUE:  The ODC fared “just okay” with his PL picks last week, making MvG the winner for third time in a row.  Peter Wright got a win 6-5 over Gerwyn Price that was pure “fugly” – Wright missed 9 match darts, 5 at 32 and 4 at 40.

Nathan Aspinall helped sink Chris Dobey lower in the standings with a 6-4 triumph.  Aspinall was outscored 101.98 to 99.52 but finished 6 for 6.  Aspinall would lose 6-2 to Michael Smith where a finishing double was as rare as Dr. Hannibal Lecter refusing “liver with Fava Beans and a nice Chianti”.  Smith into the finals.

Michael van Gerwen had his way with Jonny Clayton 6-2 where Clayton finished 50% from four chances.  MvG ousted Peter Wright 6-1 where Wright missed 8 of 9 finishes.  That stat is misleading as 6 of those were when Wright was down 5-1.

MvG got a 3-1 lead when Smith missed Bull to level at 2.  Smith with 15 and 12 darts would level the score.  Smith’s next oche visit could have been 9-darter.  After T40 a wayward dart hit a fat 5 between a pair of T20s.  Then a T80 left 56 which went the way of the bugging whip.  At 4-4 MvG would take the next 2 as Smith missed double leading to a 6-4 loss.

This week’s play should be a no-brainer  for punters… in Nottingham on Thursday it’ll be a seeded event – 1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, etc.

The city is famous for Robin Hood who “stole from the rich to give to the poor”.  The chink in the armor is the fact that #1 (MvG) and #2 (Michael Smith) are in the same side of the draw thereby facing each other in a semi.  A true seeding would have them meeting only in the final.

League Table – Night Six 

  Points Nights Won Matches Won +/- Legs Won
Michael van Gerwen 20 3 12 +30 87
Michael Smith 12 1 7 +2 57
Nathan Aspinall 11 0 6 -5 54
Gerwyn Price 8 1 5 +2 50
Dimitri Van den Bergh 7 0 4 -1 45
Jonny Clayton 7 0 4 -6 42
Chris Dobey 5 1 3 -8 34
Peter Wright 2 0 1 -14 27

One would think that picking winners would be easy.  “No way Jose”… 

Nathan Aspinall will upset Dimitri Van den Bergh.

Jonny Clayton against Gerwyn Price will ugly with neither in form. Flip a coin, if you have one, and take Price. 

Standings leader #1 Michael van Gerwen will hand Peter Wright another loss as #2 Michael Smith prevails over Chris Dobey.

In the semis take Nathan Aspinall over Price.  MvG will again beat Michel Smith meeting Nathan Aspinall in a final…

…which will go to MvG.

Many older darters talk about a comeback where they will take the game more seriously and practice more.  When it’s said by Gary Anderson there is credibility gap. Anderson seems to mean what he says.

At a recent Players Championship, he made it to the finals after wins, one which included a 111.92 average.  He lost 8-6 to Ross Smith where he flat got outscored losing 8-6.

A tip of the fedora is due to young Kaden Anderson who recently competed against the best junior dart players in the world. Playing in the opening 4 events Anderson reached a semi-final, losing 5-4 after leading 4-2.  Andersen had darts in both lost legs to win 6-nil.  Failure to close with 3 from 92 cost him the match.

Finally.  PDC players Martijn Kleermaker and Vincent van der Voort complained about the poor conditions at the UK Open.   van der Voort didn’t play in the UK Open so his comments should be taken with a grain of salt, a shot of tequila and a lime.   When you’re playing for £600,000 and a win collects £110,000 then – “Gentleman, just shut f*** up and play.”

Stay thirsty my friends.




  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.