Dartoids World

Column #HR 318 Strange bedfellows

Wednesday, November 3, 2021
Column HR318
Strange bedfellows

When someone says, “The world has come together” it’s often a combination of “strange bedfellows.”  The most recent occurred this past Sunday when dart fans, children and trannies all dressed up to go trick or treating.  The darters were in Amsterdam for the £300,000 Jack’s World Series of Darts Finals.  Children were all dressed up happily looking for treats and treasures.  Dart fans went in search of golden singing fluid (which they obliviously found in copious amounts) while the trannies were a combination of the two.

The Old Dart Coach owes an apology to title sponsor Jack’s World.  He was told that Jack’s World was a large company owning many storefront windows along the canals of Amsterdam.  That’s false as Jack’s World is a large casino.  Upon further review both businesses are “Trick and Treat.”

One of the oft told tales of All Hallows are of witches, usually women, riding their brooms as they sail about the skies.  The Old Dart Coach reminders the All Hallows Eve when his former wife crashed her Dollar Store boom, disappearing forever.  He looks forward each year to the anniversary.

With those thoughts in the mind the ODC is dedicating this effort to the ladies who play darts.  Toeing the Oche has increased its readership by 25% with the addition of Ms. CeCe Love of Las Vegas.  We welcome thee.

The recently concluded second set of the Women’s Series matches was pretty much like the first.  Fallon “A Femme Fatale” Sherrock ended the series the way she started it.  On top.  She dominated by winning 5 of the 12 events with a couple of seconds tossed in for good measure.  If she were a hot fudge sundae her match against ‘Miracle” Mikuru Suzuki would have been the cherry on the top with a 5-0 skunking.  Series runner up Lisa Ashton will also earn an invite to the Ally Pally.  Falling just shy was “The Queen” Deta Hedman who finished third in the series.  She leads the WDF rankings extending that lead with a pair of wins at the Hungarian Open.

Also qualifying for the Big Event is a young lady from Canada named Emily Alford.  She and three gents will be playing in Gibraltar for the Junior Darts Corporation (JDC) World Cup and World Championships.  The JDC is an affiliate of the PDC though they do not run the event.  One of America’s finest.  “The Titian Tornado,” Paula Murphy, qualified for an invite to the World Masters with a win in Charlotte.  The current ADO standings are unavailable (imagine that!).  The joy was short-lived as the event has been cancelled, although Ms. Murphy didn’t know it.  When asked what event she was going to the reply was, “I try not to think.”  A truthful darter.

The World Series featured many Dutch players and The Femme Fatale, Fallon Sharrock.  Fallon was seeded due to being the first women to appear in a PDC final.  In the Nordic Dart Masters, Gerwyn Price forfeited, moving Sherrock into the semifinals where she came back from 8-2 and 9-3 to defeat Dimitri Van den Bergh 11-10.  In the finals she fell to Michael van Gerwen, who collected his only 2021 title.

If asked about her about second round match against Krzysztof “The Polish Eagle” Ratajski a positive response would likely not be elicited.  It would be akin to asking Hillary Clinton her opinion of her presidential run and the results.  To report it accurately, Sherrock got her backside kicked 6-1.  She was obviously disappointed and that came to the surface in a late leg.  She needed a big 3-dart check.  Connecting on the first two with only the bull remaining, her final dart hit the outer bull.  The usually stone-faced lass removed her darts, placed one with flight in her mouth and walked back towards the crowd with a look that said, “This is one of them days.”  The Polish Eagle didn’t fall to the charms of the Femme Fatale.

The star of the first two rounds was Mervyn King.  His smooth stroke was perfect as he won his first two matches 12-0.  His drubbing of James Wade was a masterpiece.  He averaged 115 and a meaningless .62.  Much more impressive was that Wade was 100% on doubles, except he never got to one.  King would fall Michael van Gerwen 10-5 in the round of 8 to 4.  van Gerwen’s march to the semifinals included a 6-4 win over countryman Maik Kuivenhoven 6-4.  It was not vintage van Gerwen as Kuivenhoven got the “Whips & Jingles” to extend the match.

Former World Series winner van Gerwen landed in the semis only to face Johnny “The Ferret” Clayton.  Clayton had feasted winning 3 TV title’s this year.  It was apparent that he’d also been feasting on something else, or he was pregnant.  He would lay the wood to van Gerwen 11-6.  Clayton’s only challenge came against Gerwyn Price who held leads of 4-1 and 7-2.  Then Clayton got the wake-up call- whittling the lead down to 8-7, then finally leading at 9-8.  Price would tie when Clayton ended his run with a 122 check (T18, 18, bull).  Well done.

“Dancing” Dimitri Van den Bergh has established himself as a topflight darter, matching his dancing crowd appeal.  During his dance prior to his final against Johnny Clayton two fans in the crowd, dressed as bananas, were seen talking on their handheld “real” bananas, then using them to take selfies.  Van den Bergh, at 8 to 4, did struggle a bit against fellow Belgium Kim Huybrechts who has found new energy but not enough, losing 10-8.

Johnny Clayton was going for his 4th TV title of the year.  Over the first 12 legs “The Dancing Prince” gave him more than he wanted.  They would be level at 3, 4, 5 and 6.  At that point Clayton got “cereal,” taking the next 5 on the trot for the 11-6 win.  The Ferret again devours the competition.

When welcoming CeCe Love to the world of the ODC he is reminded that “coming together” is indeed sometimes a case of strange bedfellows.  CeCe Love is 50% Native American.  Her husband is from Oxford, England.  He appears to be a social climber.

Stay thirsty my friends.


  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.

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