Dartoids World

Column #HR222 No BS (almost!)

Tuesday, March 6, 2018
Column HR222
No BS (almost!)

For 30-plus years the Old Dart Coach has penned hundreds of thousands of words on subjects ranging from darts to boxing to skiing, even including a stint for a throwaway paper as a live entertainment critic at Lake Tahoe. He’s plied his trade, such as it is, for the NorCal Dart Association, Bulls Eye News, The Pattaya Mail & Times, Darts World, Dartoid’s World, Ring Sports and others that request anonymity to maintain their credibility.

In all that time the ODC has never been accused of leaving out the “BS.” Some claim, with bounteous amounts of verification, without the “BS” his efforts would resemble a blank page.

Well, the day has arrived when the ODC committed the ultimate sin. He left the “BS” out. So for the naysayers the “once in a blue moon” arrived. The doorbell is ringing with a “Roundtoit” on the doorstep.

This claim of no “BS” came in an email from Mesa, Arizona’s Chuck Puleo. Writing of Puleo the ODC penned, “Puleo is a rare darter with both a BA and MBA.” Mr. Puleo politely emailed, “I have a BS, not a BA.” The ODC has a “BA” which all know is really “BS.”

Oh yes, Puleo won his two DPLA finals 10-6 not 8-6 as reported.

Does it trouble the ODC that he misreported the scores of Puleo’s 2 wins? Not for a moment. He can blame the DPLA’s web site as the bracket figures were so small even 3 pair of Dollar Store glasses forced the ODC to guess. “No BS.”

It’s no “BS” that steel darts in many areas is deader than “Kelsey’s reproductive organ.” That aside, it’s a fact that more people than ever are actually playing darts on a regular basis. Albeit machine darts but still darts.

Machine darts, like the PDC, has done a great job of going global. On March 15-16, DARTSLIVE Japan will renew their Super Darts event at the Mynavi BLITZ AKASAKA in Tokyo. It’s an invitation only event based on a stringent qualifying protocol. It offers a prize fund of ¥18,000,000 yen or $170,214 and a meaningless 68¢.

I no “BS” you. The winner takes home a nifty ¥10,000,000 or $94,563.74 USA dollars. Nice pay for 2 days work. The players represent 9 countries with Japan leading the way with 6 including defending champion Keito “I’m not Yoko” Ono and lady player Mikuru Suzuki. The USA’s represented by Chris “The Other” Lim and Alex Reyes. Singapore has two including 2015 winner Paul Lim – really from Alta Mexico – and Harith “No Relation” Lim. The countries of Hong Kong, Malaysia, Taiwan, France and Croatia each have one player.

The 16th player is Phil Taylor who qualifies because he’s Philip Douglas Taylor. The idea that Taylor was going to ride off in the sunset, kiss the decrepitly gorgeous school marm and then work to solve work hunger was fantasy. He left the PDC answering the call of green pastures crying out “MONEY!” Good for him.

If interviewed in the run up to Super Darts, Taylor might say, “This is the most important event of my life. All the players are great. I’m telling you the truth. I’ll have to play my very best just to survive my first match again Alex Reyes. No, I’ve not looked at the bracket.”

He’s right about Reyes who ended 2017 ranked #3 in the world behind #1 Paul Lim and “Someone Else.” Someone Else? Yep, because DARTSLIVE doesn’t give a “monkeys whatever” about providing information especially for “farangs.” North Americans are ignored by DARTSLIVE and the PDC like Muslims ignore any law but Sharia.

Martin Adams, the doddering BDO world champion, said some ridiculous things in a recent interview. “Phil Taylor was okay in his day.” True, but that day lasted 20 years.

Adams continued, “PDC fans aren’t real darts fans. They come to buy overpriced drinks and sing. Real dart fans are seen at the Lakeside.” His interview should have ended with Daffy Duck saying “That’s all folks.”

Adams comments don’t apply in Japan. Japan fans with a “yen” for darts are paying out about ¥16,000 for a two-day ticket to Super Darts. In US dollars that’s in the neighborhood of $151.30 which is a nice neighborhood to live in. The sold out event in ticket sales could bring in about ¥240,000,000 or more than 2 million USD.

Meanwhile with cold and snow paralyzing the “Motha Country” the £350,000 UK Coral Open was played with no paying public. Just like the snow, on opening day name players were falling. Sent packing were “Marvelous” Michael van Gerwen, defending champ Peter Wright, Raymond van Barneveld and Adrian “No Apology” Lewis. Mr. Lewis had complained of the cold. That brought out one of Mr. Lewis’s most strident critics. “With all that fat he should be able to handle the cold better, there are starving polar bears in the melting arctic with less fat than Lewis.”

Gary Anderson won his first major TV title since 2016 with a convincing 11-7 win over Aussie rookie Corey Cadby. Anderson fell behind 4-1 then won 10 of the next 13 legs. For the three day effort Anderson collected his first UK Open title and £70,000.

World Champion Rob Cross survived a nail bitter against young Nathan Aspinall (10-8) only to lose in the quarters to Gary Anderson 10-5 after building a lead. In the semis Anderson fell behind before overcoming David Pallett 11-7.

Despite the gloomy weather outside, inside the Butlin’s Minehead Resort there were two bright sunshine stories. John Part had his best showing in some time before going out in the quarters to young Welshman Robert Owen 10-3 who averaged 98.94.

In January, Cory Cadby earned his tour card – then during 3 days in March he trumpeted his presence. A star at the last World Cup, where he beat Phil Taylor, he was masterful when he took out Robert Owen 11-3 after a 9-0 lead. The loss to Anderson did nothing to diminish what Cadby accomplished. Certainly he was disappointed when he blew the lead against Anderson but he did collect £35,000 which put a smile on the face of his soon to be wife. No “BS.”

Is it possible that this UK Open announced the coming out party for a future PDC mega star in Cory Cadby, joining MVG?

It is also possible that Mr. Part met Juan Ponce de León under the gloomy England skies.

Stay thirsty my friends.


  • Howie Reed

    Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.