Howie Reed’s Column

Wednesday, January 8, 2025
Column HR475
IT’S LUKE’s WORLD!

The newspaper headline blared: “Littler’s Legend takes flight.” Then came the sub head: “At 17, becomes youngest world champion in dart history”.  Really no surprise there, except that headline isn’t from London papers like the Star, the Sun, the Mirror or the Express, to …

Thursday, December 12, 2024
Column HR474
Ponce de León smiles…

With the WDF Lakeside World Championships off and running Ponce de León must have been smiling “ear to ear.”   In 1513, de León found the Fountian of Youth in Florida. He discovered magic waters in a spring that would return youth to those a little …

Friday, November 22, 2024
Column HR473
LUCK… YAY or NAY

The golfing great Jack Nicholaus said, “The more I practice the luckier I get.” The Old Dart Coach would strongly disagree with Nicholaus. There is good luck, bad luck and the old favorite – “No Foxtrot Luck.”  Conventional wisdom, often says, “Good and bad luck …

Friday, November 7, 2024
Column HR472
Gary Anderson attacks the ODC!

Gary Anderson, the smooth throwing Scot, is never shy about stating his opinion.  It’s sometimes difficult to understand what the heck he’s saying. The Old Dart Coach recently caught a post of Anderson being interviewed after a match. Fortunately, it as transcribed for the …

Thursday, October 24, 2024
Column HR471
DOWN THE TUNGSTEN TRAIL…

The Tungsten Trail weaved a circuitous route this week with stops at the Philadelphia Social Club, Leicester’s Mattioli Arena and the Gambrinus Czech Darts Open in Prague.

The Championships Dart Circuit held their season ending Continental Cup in the city of Brotherly Love. Stowe Buntz, …

Thursday, October 17, 2024
Column HR470
CinderFELLA – it’s Mike!

Mike De Decker became a debut PDC TV winner with a stunning derailment of Luke Humphries’ dreams of becoming a back-to-back Grand Prix Champion. There were times in the Leicester’s Mattioli Arena when the crowd sat in stunned silence by what was happening. De Decker …

Wednesday, October 9, 2024
Column HR469
OCTOBER MEANS MATCHPLAY and GRAND PRIX!

Of course, October is also known for the coming of fall in many parts of the Colonies – a time for citizens to post on social media how much they love pumpkin spiced everything.

For the Old Dart Coach, the month contains his …

Thursday, October 3, 2024
Column HR468
WHOOPS!

The Old Dart Coach has been sentenced to a dinner of crow, fava beans and an average Chianti for committing the cardinal sin as a writer – he penned an incorrect “fact”. Shame on him. Bad boy. If he had a doghouse, he’d be in it.

In last …

Thursday, September 26, 2024
Column HR467
The Baby PDC… CDC

The Professional Darts Corporation, since its inception as a for profit enterprise, has expanded its footprint throughout the world. Today, that footprint in found in Europe, Asia and North America. In North America that footprint found a home with the Championship Darts Corporation or CDC.…

Thursday, September 19, 2024
Column HR466
A COBB SALAD…

A Cobb salad you write? Yes indeed…

The Cobb salad was invented in 1937 at the Hollywood Brown Derby restaurant. The owner of the restaurant, Robert Cobb, came into his restaurant hungry late at night. Looking around the kitchen he found little. Hunger won out so …

Thursday, September 5, 2024
Column HR465
NO Darts in Paradise

Ray Donovan was the Secretary of Labor in the Reagan administration.  He was accused of fraud and forced to resign. He and six others went to trial. “Donovan (and all of the other defendants) were acquitted with a number of jurors openly applauding the verdict.”  …

Thursday, August 22, 2024
Column HR464
Gambling on darts?

Yes, darting fans, there is gambling on darts. Some may take the attitude of Captain Renault from the movie Casablanca.  A little background…

During World War II, Casablanca, which is in North Africa, was under the administration of the French Vichy Government which cooperated with …

Thursday, August 15, 2024
Column HR463
The ODC Returns…

“Well, hello dar.” That’s a greeting made famous by the late comedian Marty Allen.  The other greeting the Old Dart Coach considered upon his return from illness was to post a few lines from a Willy Nelson tune.

Well, hello there

My, it’s been a long, …

Wednesday, July 31, 2024
Column HR462
Olympics and Darts… Yea or Nay?

Every four years about this time, dart fans ask: “Why aren’t darts in the Olympics?” With as many answers as opinions you may as well just pay your money and make your choice.

Many years ago, the Old Dart Coach sat on the …

Thursday, July 25, 2024
Column HR461
Cool Hand… HOT!

To the surprise of almost no one, Luke Humphries became the 2024 Matchplay Champion. He was the big favorite before the event started and never faced a real challenge until the final – Michael van Gerwen gave him a struggle. MvG had chances to win but …

Thursday, July 11, 2024
Column HR460
PDC Summer Classic is afoot…

…but first, a little “con-trav-es-tea” came out of the World Culp involving the champs (England) and runner-up Scotland – more specifically, related to the actions of Peter Wright. The Old Dart Coach and maybe some others are aghast, simply AGHAST at all the hugging …

Tuesday, July 2, 2024
Column HR459
PDC World Cup XVI Notebook

Well… a very “deep” subject. Before any event labeled “World’ anything, Roman numerals are a must.

Before PDC World Cup XIV even got underway it got more interesting. Wales’ mainstay Gerwyn Price withdrew due to illness and was replaced by Jimmy Williams.  FYI… Williams …

Thursday, June 6, 2024
Column HR457
THE BEST EVER?

Please don’t insult what little intelligence the Old Dart Coach has left after copious amounts of “aiming fluid” and “group tighter”. Granted, the bar isn’t high…

In the run up to the PDC’s World Series visit, the North American team was said to be the “best …

Thursday, May 30, 2024
Column HR456
SUPERLATIVES

What?  Yes, superlatives.

According to the dictionary there are over 100 superlatives used in everyday language. “A superlative is used to show that someone or something has more of a particular quality than any other of their kind.”

The odds are better than even that before the year …

Thursday, May 23, 2024
Column HR455
NOT AGAIN?

At times when preparing these award-winning efforts, the Old Dart Coach likes to do a little cheating. He’ll come up with a headline, then hope the PDC follows his lead.  That’s a great idea that usually finds the ODC flat on his keister. The original headline was …

Thursday, May 10, 2024
Column HR454
Hyde Park and Darts?

Hyde Park in London is famous for its speaker’s corner. That spot is used as an open forum for oral debate. It’s appropriate to link it to darts at this time. While this space should focus on news about people that throw “pointy things at …

Thursday, May 2, 2024
Column HR453
Number 13… lucky?

It’s often heard that the number 13 is lucky.   The Old Dart Coach, who resides in Las Vegas, knows this may not be the case.  For example, if you were playing 21 (used to be called Blackjack but the name was changed – seems it was …

Thursday, April 25, 2024
Column HR452
Turn Back Time?

“If I could turn back time… if I could find a way.”  Those words were sung by Cher – her biggest hit…

Gary Andreson did turn back time, found a way, last weekend – winning his first Euro title in ten years.  In 2014, he won …

Wednesday, April 17, 2024
Column HR451
Total eclipse of…

When the Old Dart Coach heard on the radio (that’s TV with no picture) the term “Total Eclipse” he thought someone was talking about the 1983 tune by Bonnie Tyer “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”  Foolish knave, he. It was a total eclipse of the sun …

Thursday, April 11, 2024
Column HR450
PDC Ground Hog Day – Par Deux

As the Old Dart Coach predicted some time ago, the PDC will become “Luke’s World.”  It has arrived.

But first an update on what Punxsutawney Phil, aged 138, does between the time he emerges from his hole on February 2 until his …

Thursday, April 4, 2024
Column HR4498
Monsieur Luke’s Olé…  Olé… Olé

Olé…  Olé… Olé?  Shirley the Old Dart Coach has gone over the edge.  His use of “Monsieur” proves he’s lost a step.  Could be this a belated April Fool’s Day attempt to out his Most Honored Editor’s fake news interview with Lady Gaga?  The …

Thursday, March 27, 2024
Column HR448
HAT 4 Luke… ZIP for Greaves

‘Twas an interesting week in the world of darts as Luke Humphries got the Hat Trick when he won last Thursday night’s Premier League tussle for the third time in a row.  The Trick was accomplished last by Michael Smith in 2022.

The …

Thursday, March 21, 2024
Column HR447
GROUNDHOG DAY!

For those that haven’t taken notice (although the Old Dart Coach has) the Premier League on Thursday nights has become a darts’ version of the movie Groundhog Day. For those that haven’t seen the movie here’s the Cliff Notes…

It tells the story of a cynical …

Wednesday, February 13, 2024
Column HR446
LUKES RULE!

‘Twas an interesting week in the world of darts – a week during which the two Lukes ruled the PDC at the oche.  It all started with the Premier League where World Champion Luke Humphries had himself a night to remember as he achieved his first Premier …

Thursday, February 8, 2024
Column HR445
ALERT! “Well, hello there…”

My, it’s been a long, long time

How am I doing?

Oh, I guess that I’m doing fine

It’s been so long now

And it seems now that it was only yesterday

Gee, ain’t it funny how time slips away

That’s the open stanza from …

Thursday, February 8, 2024
Column HR4443 
ALERT!

The famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, emerged from his mole hole.  He didn’t see his shadow so there’ll be an early spring.  Phil, who lives in Gobbler’s Knob, Pennsylvania, peeked out of his hole on Groundhog Day for his annual visit to the daylight.  How he knew it was …

Thursday, February 1, 2024
Column HR443 
A road apple in disguise is still just a road apple

“A single dance does not make a romance or even a one-night stand – it’s just a mere oft-remembered memory.”  That quote comes from the Old Dart Coach’s next book that hasn’t been written.  The quote does about …

Thursday, January 4, 2024
Column HR442 
All Hail the New World #1 and World Champion, Luke Humphries 

As a young toddler The Old Dart Coach found Saturday a wonderous day of listening to the old standup radio.  His favorite?  Grand Central Station. “Grand Central Station – crossroads of the world with a million stories.”

From …

Thursday, December 14, 2023
Column HR441 
THIS IS IT! 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen and those that decline to state, the World Dart Championship begins its run at London’s Ally Pally (aka Alexander Palace) tomorrow!

The championship will run from December 15 to January 3, 2024, with a pause for the cause on December 24 until …

Monday, December 11, 2023
Column HR440 
WELL… WELL… WELL… 

A “deep” subject…

The WDF hosted the Lakeside World Championship last week.  Beau Greaves, as the Old Dart Coach predicted, coasted to another World Championship with an easy 4-1 defeat of Aileen de Graaf.  During Greaves’ run to the title she would score 11 sets, losing …

Thursday, November 30, 2023
Column HR439 
NOW IT BEGINS…

After the first couple verses of the “sports” anthem Sweet Caroline comes the refrain…

Sweet Caroline…

Good times never seemed so good
I’ve been inclined
To believe they never would
But now I 

For dart fans the good times mark the start of the …

Thursday, November 21, 2023
Column HR438 
It’s Thanksgiving… the time to give thanks.

It’s that time of the year when the folks in the Colonies give thanks.  In 1621, 50 Pilgrims (i.e., those that escaped the Motha Country which was then ruled by King James I of England and Ireland (and who was also James …

Thursday, November 16, 2023
Column HR437 
Geezer Gazette: Volume II – Issue III

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

The Geezer Gazette, the official voice for the Stacy Bromberg Senior Open welcomes you and brings you….  

BIG CHANGES!  

At the request of many senior male darters, the age for the Stacy Bromberg Senior Open has been lowered from …

Wednesday, November 9, 2023
Column HR436 
“My God, the Bridge!” 

Those words often escaped the mouth of the late Irene Maude Reed, the mother of the Old Dart Coach.  That expression was used many times due to something her son had done.  It was either that or concern about a possible baby switch at the …

Wednesday, November 1, 2023
Column HR435 
Turn back time?

But first: The Old Dart Coach has been dining on crow (with fava beans and a nice Chianti) after making a false statement in last week’s column.  Looking back on the Ghost tournament (erroneously called The Ghost on the Coast …slipped that one by), the ODC …

Wednesday, October 25, 2023
Column HR434 
THE OWL SAYS “WHOOO?”TRICK OR TREAT?

It’s that time of year again that the Old Dart Coach loves – not because he gets to dress up or that he likes to say “Candy little girl?”.

No, it’s the time of year that he’s cherished since the day his ex …

Thursday, October 19, 2023
Column HR433 
THE OWL SAYS “WHOOO?”

The cat says “Meow,” the cow says “moo” and the donkey says “Hee Haw.”  Now that dear readers have been brought up to date it’s time to move on…

Excellence is the best word to describe those that play darts under the banner of the …

Monday, October 11, 2023
Column HR432 
HANGOVER

In his younger days, the Old Dart Coach would wake up on January 1 with a terrible hangover caused by too much aiming fluid and group tighter (and also, soon to be forgotten New Year’s Resolutions).  It’s the same following a WDF World Cup…

This time, the hangover …

Monday, October 2, 2023
Column HR431 
HEJ… HEJ… and Au Revoir to WDF World Cup XXIII

When this adventure called the WDF World Cup XXIII started a few days ago the Old Dart Coach quoted Scottish poet Robert Burns: “The best-laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men Gang aft agley”…  

The plans for England’s men’s squad …

Saturday, September 30, 2023
Column HR430 
TGIF at the World Cup… the “Good, the Bad and the Ugly”

To put Friday at the World Cup XXIII in perspective imagine someone that has grown up on a ranch or watches Yellowstone.  To put it delicately, it’s the day that some baby bulls undergo the “ultimate …

Friday, September 29, 2023
Column HR429 
Day 3 of the WDF World Cup XXII

Three days into World Cup XXIII there are some conclusions that can be drawn.  On the men’s side those countries with a strong presence among the PDC (mercenaries) or CDC have seen their WDF men’s programs become less dominant.  The men’s …

Thursday, September 28, 2023
Column HR428 
A NEW DAY?

In 1965, Nina Simone had a big hit with “Feeling Good”.  The song was from the play “The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd.”  Many years later, Canadian Michael Bublé released his version that became an instant hit.  He added his own …

Tuesday, September 27, 2023
Column HR427 
No sun for North America… Day 1

According to the weather reports from Esbjerg, Denmark, the first day of the WDF World Cup was a balmy 63 degrees and cloudy.  In contrast, for the North Americans it was chilly under a grey sky – and that spelled doom for …

Tuesday, September 26, 2023
Column HR426 
WDF World Cup… as the sun rises

As the sun rises at 7:18 a.m. in the seaport town of Esbjerg, Denmark, dart players (men, women, boys and girls plus one “feel like a girl”) from 49 nations will be preparing for the “Greatest Event in Darts”.  Make no mistake …

Tuesday, September 19, 2023
Column HR425 
HELLO DOLLY!

Dolly Parton is known for a couple of sayings.  First is: “STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”  The Old Dart Coach concedes that “Here We Go Again” finishes second.

That lyric seems appropriate as the BDO family (represented by Anthony Eno) is back with another tale of woe.

Have …

Thursday, September 14, 2023
Column HR424 
Geezer Gazette: Volume II – Issue II

Welcome back to Volume II of the Geezer Gazette – keeping senior darters up-to-date on “What’s the Haps” (as John Kramer likes to say).  

EQUAL PAY FOR THE LADIES

The big news for the GOLDEN ERA DARTERS STACY BROMBERG SENIOR OPEN …

Tuesday, September 12, 2023
Column HR423 
DARTS AND FATS DOMINO – and RIP DAVID BROOK

NEWS BULLETIN 

A huge thank you is due Lisa Farrell who has made a donation to the GOLDEN ERA DART PLAYERS STACY BROMBERG SENIOR OPEN (January 19-20, 2024) bringing the Ladies Singles prize fund to $1,000 – the first tournament …

Friday, August 23, 2023
Column HR422 
Geezer Gazette: Volume II – Issue II

Welcome to the new and improved Geezer Gazette.  The Gazette is the official newsletter of the GOLDEN ERA DART PLAYERS STACY BROMBERG SENIOR OPEN scheduled for January 19-20, 2024, at CD’s Sports Lounge in Las Vegas.

$2,700 in prize money is …

Friday, August 16, 2023
Column HR421 
THE WEEK THAT WAS…

Rob Cross would have to have been angry when he traveled with his mates from the PDC for the World Series in New Zealand and Australia.  He won both the New Zealand and the New South Wales Darts Masters pretty as you’d like.  In New …

Friday, August 11, 2023
Column HR420 
SKULLDUGGERY AFOOT?

Skullduggery depends on the eye of the beer holder.  The definitions run the gamut from “underhanded or unscrupulous” to “dishonorable behavior or proceedings” to “mean… dishonesty…  trickery.”  To some, much of this defines the American Darts Organization.

Recently, the Old Dart Coach’s amigo, Mick Smith, asked, “Why …

Wednesday, August 2, 2023
Column HR419 
PLAYING CATCH UP and ADIOS

While the Old Dart Coach was tied up with the PDC “Squatter’s & Pointers” performing in Blackpool he ignored North America.  Thereby he missed another great weekend for the ‘Queen of the Oche” Paula Murphy who went through the ladies at the Music City …

Monday, July 24, 2023
Column HR418 
BEAU IS BODACIOUS!

The 7 top women and one “I Feel Like a Woman” toed the oche for the second Women’s World Matchplay – the winner would bank £10,000.  The show opened with a collage of women’s legends of darts.  Shame on the PDC for ignoring the fact that …

Monday, July 24, 2023
Column HR417 
ALL HAIL THE ASP!

The first day of World Matchplay quarter final matches had more “big checks” than the lotto.  In both matches big leads were the order of the day.  Daryl Gurney took it on the chin from Joe Cullen.  Gurney, who had only missed 12 doubles the …

Thursday, July 20, 2023
Column HR416 
THEN THERE WERE EIGHT…

The stage at the Winter Gardens (Blackpool) has seen players and fans battling sweltering heat.  The fans, of course, were forced to consume aiming fluid while players were limited to H2O.  This year, the temperature has been unusually cool.  The second round of the World …

Tuesday, July 18, 2023
Column HR415 
HIT THE DOOR, van Gerwen!

Dart players by nature are a gullible lot.  Given enough aiming fluid and group tighter darters will believe anything.  Phil Taylor was actually able to go “over the moon,” Gary Anderson did not drop SAD’s (silent and deadly) bomb’s on the oche and a …

Tuesday, July 12, 2023
Column HR414 
MID-SUMMER CLASSICS

After a brief vacation (wishing all Happy Canada Day and/or Happy July 4^th) Toeing the Oche is back!

The PDC and the ADO both have Mid-Summer classics.  The PDC has the World Matchplay starting Saturday with a prize fund of £800,000 with the winner scooping up …

Tuesday, June 27, 2023
Column HR413 
The Cowboy Rides Away

George Strait sang, “Now I just found a game that I can’t play.  And this is where the cowboy rides away.”  

But first.  The PDC World Cup 2023 is in the rear-view mirror but, like “The Song is Ended (but the Melody Lingers On)”, …

Friday, June 20, 2023
Column HR412 
All Hail the Victors… WALES!

There is nothing in the world more aggravating than the jerk that says, “I told you so!”  That person deserves “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,” as Bill Shakespeare wrote.  The Old Dart Coach is willing to accept his fate as he wrote …

Friday, June 16, 2023
Column HR411 
WORLD CUP KO ROUND SET!

The first round of the PDC World Cup is done and, with a new format, produced some exciting moments and upsets.

The doubles play led to some “singles play” when players didn’t set up their partners.  Another oddity was missing the big single for …

Wednesday, June 14, 2023
Column HR410 
WORLD CUP & OREGON OPEN SNFU

The 2023 PDC World Cup is upon us – starting tomorrow and running for four days in Frankfurt.   The World Cup is the Old Dart Coach’s favorite PDC event.  If the name Frankfurt rings a bell, it should.  The frankfurter (aka hot dog) …

Thursday, June 8, 2023
Column HR409 
WOW!

That describes the weekend for Canadian Jeff Smith who had a career weekend when he captured the North American Championship for the second time.  He achieved this milestone in spectacular fashion (which is a gross understatement).  The Show Biz Bible, Variety, would report Mr. Smith’s debut in …

Wednesday, May 24, 2023
Column HR408 
LUCKY or GOOD?  AND a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!

Golfer Jack Nicholas heard a brainless sportswriter (like there’s another kind) say, “Boy that Nicholas is lucky”.  Jack responded, “…funny, the more I practice the luckier I get.”

Had Jonny Clayton heard a similar comment after Thursday night’s Premier League he’d say…

Thursday, May 18, 2023
Column HR407 
DEEP SUBJECTS

Well, well, well.  That is a deep subject.  The Old Dart Coach was spot on…

He wrote that the battle for the 4th Premier League playoff berth will be decided this Thursday in the “Great City of AAAAAberdeen”.

Jonny Clayton and Nathan Aspinall meet head-to-head to see …

Wednesday, May 10, 2023
Column HR406 
Shootout in Sheffield?  Mistake on the Lake & Shania Twain

That sums up this week’s effort.  The Premier League appears set for a dramatic shootout on Thursday.  Fake news.  NO shootout in Sheffield.  Regardless of the results Gerwyn Price, MvG and Michael Smith will hold the three top spots …

Wednesday, April 26, 2023
Column HR404 
OUTHOUSE TO PENTHOUSE

“From the Outhouse to the Penthouse” originated before indoor plumbing.  It’s long gone now, sort of.  In some “modern” cities, San Francisco being one, it’s not uncommon to observe a “squat and dropper” on any given day.  In sport it’s a much less common occurrence.  Last …

Wednesday, April 19, 2023
Column HR403 
THE PRICE IS RIGHT!

“Come on down, Gerwyn Price, to see what you’ve won!”

It was a memorable night in the Premier League for Price when the “PDC traveling road show” hit Brighton.  The city, known as a beach paradise during summer, was a chilly 46 degrees with showers.  …

Wednesday, April 12, 2023
Column HR402 
THREE DOT LOUNGE OPEN

The Old Dart Coach walked thru the swinging doors of the Three Dart Lounge.  He heard Neil Diamond singing “Sweet Caroline” as the crowd, fueled by single malt (and assisted by more than a touch of Scottish singing fluid), sang along.

A patron paused singing …

Thursday, April 5, 2023
Column HR401 
CLAYTON BUFFO:

Jonny “The Ferret” Clayton had a career night when the Premier League landed for week nine in Berlin.  In order, Clayton took out Michael van Gerwen, Michael Smith and Gerwyn Price for his first win during this year’s Premier League play.

The Old Dart Coach is shocked …

Thursday, March 302, 2023
Column HR400 
GOLD (chemical formula: Au)

The headline shouted GATES GOLD!  “The Soldier” Leonard closed the gate on the UK’s hopes of a Senior Challenge of Champions winner.

Yes, the Old Dart Coach knows that Gates wants to call himself “Soulger” (no such word exists).

Gates played really minor league …

Wednesday, March 22, 2023
Column HR399 
WOULD YOU BELIEVE?

On September 18, 1965, the TV show “Get Smart” aired for the first time staring Don Adams as Agent 86.  Each Saturday night folks would gather around their black and white TVs as Agent 86 (aka Maxwell Smart) would say “Would you believe?”.  A tall tale …

Wednesday, March 15, 2023
Column HR398 
SIDE BAR SALOON (par deux)

Back at the Side Bar Saloon, the Old Dart Coach met with a flurry of attacks.  His attempt recently to show Cricket was in decline by comparing ’01 singles with Cricket singles entries at the Port City Classic was soundly (and fairly) dismissed.  Although …

Wednesday, March 8, 2023
Column HR397
SIDE BAR SALOON

The Three Dot Lounge is remodeling so it’s off to The Side Bar Saloon for the Old Dart Coach – a place where pints, darts and gossip flow like “porkies” from a politician.  Upon entering, there were the “usual suspects” discussing who were likely to win …

Wednesday, March 1, 2023
Column HR396
FOREST FOR THE TREES

The Old Dart Coach is accused as being unable to see the “forest for the trees.”

Paul Bunyan, with Babe (strange times those!) faced the same problem when visiting Las Vegas years ago, proclaiming, “I don’t see any forest for all these trees.”  With ax …

Thursday, February 22, 2023
Column HR395
Interesting week?

Before the Old Dart Coach became the world’s Master Darts Writer he pontificated on the “manly art of self-defense” (now “person art of self-defense”. Growing up as he did listening to Friday night fights on the radio he remembers the in-round announcer describing the first round …

Thursday, February 16, 2023
Column HR394
LIKE FINE WINE

Like fine wine, two older darters popped the proverbial champagne cork (no twist off cap) to celebrate victories.  The Old Dart Coach had a Miller Genuine.

Designated senior defending World Senior’s Champion and #1 seed Robert Thornton defended his title with a convincing 5-2 win over …

Tuesday, February 7, 2023
Column HR393
FOOLS RUSH IN

It’s not a reference to the song from the ‘40s (sung by Frank Sinatra with the Tommy Dorsey Band) but rather to the dodo birds that decry the naming of Chis Dobey (and others) to the Premier League.  The world can run out of gas, and …

Wednesday, February 1, 2023
Column HR392
The Biggest Ship in the Harbor

Years ago, Bobby George spoke before the BDO and its member counties.  George is an underrated dart player known more for his showmanship.  He has a keen business mind…

George advised, We (BDO) have the biggest ship in the harbor, but there is …

Thursday, January 26, 2023
Column HR391
SPANNING THE WORLD!

Gong xi fa cai.  Welcome to the Lunar New Year.  Year of the Rabbit.  Like Phil Taylor the Energizer Bunny is “Over the Moon”.

Today, we visit Las Vegas (what happens there won’t stay there), Bucharest, Romania (a 2-WDF eventer), Copenhagen, Denmark (for the PDC) …

Thursday, January 19, 2023
Column HR390
Now, the rest of the story…

When one door closes another door opens.  (Alexander Graham Bell)

Days after the ADO put the kibosh on a comprehensive Golden Age Darters’ Reunion the ODC received an unsolicited offer from Paula Duritza Bushey, tournament director of the Virginia Beach Classic…

I …

Wednesday, January 18, 2023
Column HR389
ADO DECLARES WAR.  REUNION SURRENDERS.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: This first installment in a two-part series by the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed, exposes the ADO for what it is.  The ADO trashed the efforts of the ODC and the Reunion Committee to stage a proper Golden Age Darter’s Reunion.  They …

Friday, January 6, 2023
Column HR388
I could write a book…

Stumped for how to begin this effort, the Old Dart Coach reached deep for a Frank Sinatra tune and was reminded of “I Could Write a Book” from the movie Pal Joey which also introduced “The Lady is a Tramp”.

(At the suggestion of …

Wednesday, December 21, 2022
Column HR387
Maple Leaf Miracle!

When the Old Dart Coach was a toddler, his mom took him to see Bambi.  He cried in sadness.  (Lighten up – he was only 4).

On Monday it was a different kind of tears, these of pure joy.

If you love darts and have …

Tuesday, December 13, 2022
Column HR386
Okay, where are we now?

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Most of the facts below are true.  The opinions are 100% fact.)

Oh YES – what a “festival” it was at the WDF’s Festival of Darts held at the De Bonte Wever in Assen, Netherlands.

The De Bonte Wever is …

Friday, December 9, 2022
Column HR385
A Week in the Netherlands

The World Darts Federation (WDF) “Hoi Poly” and 635 dart players invaded the city Assen, Netherlands, to hold forth the World Masters, World Open and WDF World Championship Qualifiers – a veritable festival of darts.

It’s also the AGM (Annual General Meeting) for the …

Friday, December 2, 2022
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The Three Dot Lounge is Open…

Back in the day, the Old Dart Coach always looked forward to Friday and the arrival of the San Francisco Chronicle sports page…

Inside the “Green Sheet” (the sport section was printed on green paper) sports writer Bruce Jenkins would start his column …

Thursday, November 22, 2022
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Where were we?

But first…

There are times in sport when you’re stunned into silence and or brought to tears of pure joy.  It’s like a romanticist having a loved one sent IL DIVO singing “I will always love you.”  That’s what happened on the seventh day of the …

Thursday, November 17, 2022
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In form…

Is there a more meaningless term than “in form”?  No.

A darts player was asked, “How are you doing?”  Their reply, “I’m in form.”

Horse players know form equates to losing tickets.  With form and a £1.25 a dart player can go to the £1 store buy …

Thursday, November 10, 2022
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A Pause for the Cause

Most sports participants take brief respites from the grind of competition.  Darts kinda took a deep breath last weekend…

Across the big pond was the final chance to qualify for the PDC (How’s Your ?) Cazoo Grand Slam of Darts starting this weekend.  It’ll …

Thursday, November 7, 2022
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EXTRA!  EXTRA!  READ ALL ABOUT IT!  ADO THREATENS GOLDEN AGE DARTERS… RENEGES ON AGREEMENT.  (Volume I – Issue II)

The phone rings…

Howie Reed… this is Matt Stoner, Vice President of the ADO.

Impressive.

(This followed a communication Mr. Stoner sent to another individual…)

I have been informed …

Thursday, November 3, 2022
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BEAU-DACIOUS

Long before the Old Dart Coach picked up a dart, he would pick himself up from rodeo arenas across the USA.  He settled on steer wrestling which insured a trip to terra firma – place he was very familiar with trying to ride bulls.  One the baddest bulls …

Thursday, October 27, 2022
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Geezer Gazette – JANUARY TREAT for GOLDEN AGE DARTERS (Volume I – Issue I)

Geezer: A geezer will usually be found outside a pub with a pint in his hand on match day.

Hello and WELCOME to the inaugural edition of the Geezer Gazette!

If you are reading …

Thursday, October 27, 2022
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TREATS and TREASURES

The Old Dart Coach appears to have been wrong.  Perish the thought!

Gibraltar is not an island.  This was pointed out by “Big” Tony Holyoake.  The ODC, in his defense, points out that Gibraltar is an island… in Ohio.  Take that.

With All Hallows’ Eve fast …

Thursday, October 19, 2022
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REDHEADED STEPCHILD?

Perchance the term is familiar?

Currently, it is a reference not to a human being, but to the condescending attitude of those in power.

The accepted definition is clear: the term redheaded stepchild is used to describe “…a person who is neglected, mistreated or unwanted.” 

Originally, the …

Thursday, October 13, 2022
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That’s (Dart) Life

The Old Dart Coach is sure the Chairman of the Board (the late Francis Albert Sinatra) won’t go ballistic for the borrowing of his song title, with a slight modification.  Just read the opening two stanzas:  

That’s life (that’s life), that’s what all the people say …

Wednesday, October 7, 2022
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HU?

The response by Colonies’ dart players, including the Old Dart Coach, when the North American Open Dart Tournament bit the dust after 2001, was “Hu?”.  “Hu” combined with the “Brook Trout Look” indicated that they had no idea what was going to transpire.

The North American was a …

Wednesday, September 28, 2022
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“The THrill of Victory… and the Agony of Defeat”

For any male in the 1960s, now as old as glass milk bottles, Saturday afternoons meant ABC’s Wide World of Sports…

“Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sports… the thrill of victory and the agony …

Wednesday, September 14, 2022
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Unexpected Consequences

The world’s deluged with individuals using “unexpected consequences” to explain lack of common sense and stupidly.  Oil prices rise and so does everything else – that’s common sense, not unexpected consequences.  The Old Dart Coach chewing a red licorice rope breaks a tooth – that’s an unexpected …

Wednesday, September 7, 2022
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Streisand & Redford, Umberger & Karpowich, Kramer & McGinnis

What in the Sam Hill is going on?

Streisand & Redford in the same headline as great darting duos?

Reitan-Green & Hopkins, Karpowich & Maloney, Lim & Sinnaeve, Verrier & McDonald (Cricket only) – and Reed & Parsley would also …

Wednesday, August 31, 2022
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The SPOTTED OWL

The Spotted Owl is an endangered species listed with the Bald Eagle.  The action to list the Spotted Owl was fueled by those who feared it would be pushed to extinction as logging expanded.  Most of these folks wouldn’t recognize a Spotted Owl if one bit …

Wednesday, August 24, 2022
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GOLDEN AGE DARTERS’ REUNION… A GO!

What started as dinner conversation among four old geezers then affirmed by two fair darting damsels, Lisa Farrell and Connie Sroka, has become a reality.  On January 20-21, 2023, in Las Vegas, Nevada, at the Tuscany Hotel/Casino, the First Annual “Darters of the …

Thursday, August 17, 2022
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GREY SKIES FOR LADIES’ DARTS

The world, especially sport, has transitioned from rewarding excellence to kotowing to the loudest minority.  Darts has not escaped this rapidly-spreading WOKE virus.  Common sense the only known vaccine.

Like many, the World Darts Federation (WDF) grabs its ankles asking for neither a cocktail …

Thursday, August 11, 2022
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FAMILY AFFAIR

(Warning!  Fact-checkers caution that some of the ODC’s dart “facts” below may not be entirely accurate.  Readers should take them with a grain of salt, a shot of tequila and a lime.)

Shortly after England abandoned “carting” (dragging criminals thru the streets behind a cart …

Thursday, August 4, 2022
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Soapbox – Rants and Raves!

There are times when the ODC ascends the soapbox to rant and rave, even without the aid of Stupid Fluid…

It’s easy to rave about Pal Lim as he’s the 10th wonder of the sporting world right behind Tom Brady and Manny Pacquiao.  The …

Monday, July 25, 2022
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ALL HAIL Queen Sherrock and King van Gerwen!

The sun rose at 5:28 AM Sunday morning in Blackpool, setting at 9:23 PM.  The weather?  72 and sunny outside.  Inside the Winter Garden it was hotter and beery…

Ten dart players, all battle tested, would determine what the “weather” would …

Sunday, July 24, 2022
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AT LAST, THE END IS NEAR… but not for the ladies!

There are some out there that think the Old Dart Coach is going to use the old “Let’s use a Frank Sinatra song to start this column.  Then the ODC will quote a few lines thinking it’s cute …

Saturday, July 23, 2022
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ALL GONE BUT FOUR!

The Old Dart Coach’s father’s favorite song was “One the Road to Mandalay”. He would sing it with all the gusto of Pavarotti calling Figaro at the Theatro dell’Opera di Rome.  In the song Padre would sing:

On the road to Mandalay 

Where the flyin’ …

Friday, July 22, 2022
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LADIES in SPOTLIGHT, but first…

After a long wait, the ladies of darts get their own worldwide TV stage when the Winter Gardens opens its doors on Sunday afternoon (July 24) for the PDC Women’s Matchplay.  

It’s a quality field of 8 that have survived 12 events spread over …

Friday, July 22, 2022
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY to TWO LEGENDS!

Yesterday, July 21, marked the birthday of two true legends of darts…

The initial winner of the World Matchplay, Larry “The American Eagle” Butler, is still soaring at the top of the sport.  Mr. John Lowe MBE is one that helped the sport grow, …

Wednesday, July 21, 2022
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July 20, Par Deux – GAME OVER, but memories linger…

The Miller’s Report: Love it.  It was a great night of darts.  The drama was thrilling.  Had a great time in the sauna.  Temps dropping by 20 degrees outside, but it will still be hot in Winter Garden.  …

Wednesday, July 20, 2022
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Title, title – there ain’t no title!

Round Uno had its moments with competitive matches few and far between.  This is the point, as they say in cattle country, when “bulls are made steers.”  The Bulls move on.

A factor is the heat inside the Winter Gardens.  In his …

Thursday, July 18, 2022
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World Matchplay – Round Uno

The 2022 World Matchplay began with a fitting tribute to commentator John Gwynne who had passed away just 7 days before.  The last of the original three voices of the PDC is silenced… Sid Waddell, Dave Lanning and now John.

Most proclaimed in advance …

Thursday, July 14, 2022
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PDC Mid-summer Classic – July 16-24, but first…

Mr. John Lowe, MBE has stepped away from competing on the Senior Tour.  I have decided that I have contributed to introducing the senior’s championships.  I did not win any of my matches but felt I did play at a good …

Tuesday, July 12, 2022
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Old Dart Coach ON PROBATION!

(Editor’s note: The ODC has been placed on public probation from Super-Secret Probation for his inexcusable behavior.  The USA defeated England 9-0 in 1985 in Brisbane, not Melbourne.  We apologize for his actions – as many have before.)

The ODC: “Do to my obsequiousness …

Sunday, July 3, 2022
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HAPPY 4th of July!  GREAT BRITAIN – THANK YOU!

As American’s celebrates the 4^th of July, Independence Day, we pass along a belated Happy Canada Day as on July 1, 1867, they consolidated three territories into the nation of Canada.  They wanted July 4th, but we already had …

Thursday, June 30, 2022
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ARACHNID BLOCKBUSTER TV EVENT! 

Arachnid has concluded an arrangement for a TV event on ESPN in August in Rock Hill, South Carolina.  With $20,000+ up for grabs, this invitation-only event will be broadcast August 5^th at 11:00 pm Eastern time on ESPN.  With some details still to come, …

Monday, June 20, 2022
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WORLD CUP SHOCKER!

All teams but one have now been sent packing.  Men at Work sing “Down Under” as Australia’s Damon Heta and Simon Whitlock receive their gold medals as PDC 2022 World Cup champion.

But first…

WHATS IN A NAME?

Good question!

People that live in Frankfurt, Germany, …

Saturday, June 18, 2022
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A SATURDAY SONG FOR FRANKFURT

This is the day that eight teams will be singing the Huey Lewis tune, “This is It” for all the others.  Or Dinah Washington’s “What a Difference a Day Makes.”  For fans of the TV series Yellowstone, it’s the day they roundup the …

Friday, June 17, 2022
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ENGLAND and AUSSIES SHINE… SCOTLAND and BELGIUM – NOT SO MUCH

Today, darts fans got their first look at #1 seed England and an answer to the question, should one ask, “Can Michael Smith continue to be the best player on earth?”  That title (bestowed by Wayne Mardle) was …

Thursday, June 16, 2022
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CHEESE-EATING WEASLES RULE DAY ONE at World Cup!

A cheese-eating weasel is a punter that bets on every favorite in a sporting event.  The Old Dart Coach and his pal (The Legend, Russ Lopez) are charter members of the club.  On Day One of the World Cup the ODC …

Wednesday, June 15, 2022
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van Gerwen triumphs… and World Cup for DUMMIES!

The 11,000 fans that packed the Mercedes-Benz Arena in Berlin for Premier League finals night settled into a party mood as the two semifinal matches both resulted in 11-4 blow outs.   Little did they know, or care, that the final would …

Tuesday, May 31, 2022
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“The WDF is the ADO’s boss.”

Really?

Those words are found on the ADO website in an opus by Director of Operations Steve Brown.  It presents supposition that the reader is asked to accept as incontrovertible truths.  Goebbels school of propaganda on display.

“The Oregon Open will not …

Wednesday, May 24, 2022
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A new Axiom?

The Old Dart Coach loves axioms.  “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t teach it to fish.” “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but you can’t make him drink.”

New axiom, “You can’t beat your opponent until you …

Wednesday, May 16, 2022
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BACK OFF!  Famous writers are allowed mulligans!

This adventure in darts will be copacetic with a warning to the persnickety.  Back off!  The Old Dart Coach is allowed literary freedom.  All famous writers are allowed mulligans.

Prior to the start of the 2022 PDC Premier League season, the PDC …

Wednesday, May 11, 2022
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Roe or Wade?

It was just Mother’s Day weekend and in the USA’s non-contagious 50 states debate has erupted over Roe vs. Wade.

The PDC debate?

Wade vs. ALL – as the Premier League arrives in Scotland.  It’s a night of undisrupted sleep for the sheep with men enjoying …

Wednesday, May 4, 2022
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Why “Oscillation”?

Dart politics.  Boring?

A UK dart fan questioned the ODC’s coverage of the WDF.  “You (The ODC) obviously have a gripe with (the) WDF on historical grounds.”  The thinly veiled implication (accusation) was that the ODC had not treated the WDF fairly.

Even if true, and it …

Tuesday, April 26, 2022
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Beware of false prophets

In 1986, the Old Dart Coach was covering the Embassy World Professional under the pen name of Howie Reed, a name which would become disgraced in society both polite and non-polite…

‘Twas the ODC’s first exposure to London’s tabloids and being lazy, as he sometimes …

Wednesday, April 20, 2022
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Third time’s the charm – not always!

There’s a fine line between an average sportsman and a good one.  The good ones always forget a bad shot or play.  Like the song recorded by Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters, “You got to ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive, e-lim-i-nate the negative.”  …

Thursday, April 14, 2022
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Toast two Living Legends… Beau Greaves & Russ Lopez!

The WDF/Lakeside World Championship dropped the curtain Sunday.  Most predictions made after the fact are “usually” 100% true.  The Old Dart Coach can predict Howlin’ Wolf singing “We gonna pitch a wang dang doodle, all night long” wasn’t played.  It …

Wednesday, April 6, 2022
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Chuck Hudson tells it LIKE IT IS!

Golden Age darters have fond memories of the Lakeside Country Cub, Frimley Green.  The names of darting greats names roll off the tongue like water over Niagara Falls.  This week, the ancient venue plays host to the WDF’s World Championships.  Most of …

Wednesday, March 31, 2022
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It’s the SOUTH, Y’ALL – but first…

When a Southerner says, “Well, bless your sweet heart” they mean “Shame on you. You are dumber than a fence post turtle.”

FREE ANA:  Chuck Hudson, smarter than any fence post turtle, writes: …strange days we live in.  A dude can keep …

Wednesday, March 23, 2022
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Darters invade Beach… but first, a FREE ANNA update!

FREE ANNA!  As is now widely known, the World Darts Federation has banned Anastasia Dobromyslova from their “We want a World Championship Too” tournament.  Their only semi-legitimate “defense” is that they are a member of the Alliance of Independent Members …

Friday, March 18, 2022
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THE QUEEN ABDICATES!

The fallout from the Old Dart Coach’s effort entitled “DISCRIMINATION!” has been like rain in Seattle – nonstop.  Like an earthquake in California the aftershocks are notable and just keep coming.

Just moments before yesterday’s column was posted, Real Dart Fanatics broke the story of Fallon …

Thursday, March17, 2022
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DISCRIMINATION!

Discrimination should NOT be celebrated, encouraged or expected.  This is particularly true in sport where competitors and organizations fly the equality flag, at times to excess.  Talk is cheap.  Action takes willpower.  Discrimination has many sides including race, color and religion – all ugly.

Darts has been hit with …

Wednesday, March16, 2022
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Here’s to the ladies!

The Old Dart Coach wishes a belated Happy Birthday (#80) to Irish great, John McKenna.  The ODC’s first Guinness on St. Patty’s Day will be for John and also Tom Firth.  Firth traveled from Dublin to last week’s UK Open.  He echoed the Old Dart Coach’s …

Wednesday, March 9, 2022
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Dart God bakes NEW DUTCH TREAT!

Every person who has ever thrown a dart knows there’s a Dart God (aka Tungsten Tillie).  It’s the voice that says “Pal (or Palette if female or Whisky Foxtrot Tango if declined to state), this is your day.”  A bit fickle, she is …

Wednesday, March 2, 2022
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A plan gone awry

Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote in To a Mouse, “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men.  Gang aft a-gley”.

Recently, the Old Dart Coach was a victim as his plans went “a-gley”.  The plan?  To write a detailed report on the Camellia Classic …

Monday, February 21, 2022
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PRICE IS RIGHT!

The Old Dart Coach never said, “It is better to be a has-been than a never-was” to those who leveled cheap shots at the senior darters.  But Dave Justice did.  He was a top player in the Motha country back when paper and feather flights were …

Monday, February 14, 2022
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Old Dart Coach apologize?  Not likely.  PS: Crisket sucks!

One might recall Irving Berlin’s The Song is Ended, but the Melody Lingers On when thinking about the recent Seniors World Championship.  (Editor’s note: The Old Dart Coach quotes a lot of old song titles and lyrics because he doesn’t …

Tuesday, February 8, 2022
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Welcome back, geezers!

In 1940, Thomas Wolfe’s novel, You Can’t Go Home Again, was published.   That premise was tested twice last week in the UK. The Old Dart Coach investigates.

Night one of the Premier League arrived in Cardiff, Wales, with locals Gerwyn Price and Jonny Clayton.

Clayton …

Wednesday, February 2, 2022
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The PDC says… WELCOME LADIES!

The ODC was spot-on when he predicted the PDC would soon come up with some kind of TV ladies’ event.  That time has arrived.  On July 24th on a summer’s afternoon eight ladies will take the stage at the Winter Gardens (Blackpool).  They will …

Wednesday, January 26, 2022
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GEEZER TOUR ARRIVES… NORTH AMERICA “P O”!

A story appeared in The News Shopper (Lewisham) in the year 1991 about the monthly singles darts at the Sydney Arms of London.  The Governor?  One Roger Nickson.  Nickson arguably had as much, if not more, impact on London darts than anybody …

Wednesday, January 20, 2022
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TRUE STUFF from the ADO Nationals in Vegas!

It’s the Old Dart Coach’s theory that the easiest job in the world is forecasting the weather in Las Vegas – summer is hot, fall not so hot and winter almost not hot.

With recent criticism the ODC’s fragile ego has …

Wednesday, January 12, 2022
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NO DRESS CODE!

Before diving headfirst into 2022, a few items to clean up…

The PDC announced that Cazoo will now sponsor not only the World Championships but also the UK Open, Players Championship Finals and Masters.  The ODC is over the moon.

He can write:

How is your …

Wednesday, January 5, 2022
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The snake BITES and pockets a cool half million (POUNDS!)

As Peter Wright lifted the Sid Waddell Trophy for the second time it marked the end of the 2022 PDC World Championship.  The words of Waddell, the articulate one, rang true.  “It’s a funny old game.”   Funny “peculiar” for …

Wednesday, December 22, 2021
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PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE!

The battle at the Palace has almost reached the halfway mark.  For darts fans the world over this signals that they can take a pause for the cause – playing Santa, with the strong possibility of “a pint of” without darts.

Things got going when …

Tuesday, December 14, 2021
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Darters Storm the Palace!

Tomorrow at 7:00 pm Greenwich Mean Time (11:00 am Las Vegas time), a resplendent John McDonald will stride onto the stage, with microphone in hand, at the Alexander Palace.  (The Palace is situated between Wood Green and Muswell Hill in the London Borough of Haringey.)…

Tuesday, November 30, 2021
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American Royal Darts Family loses a Prince… PDC finds a Queen

Yes, the Old Dart Coach has been absent while celebrating Thanksgiving here in the Colonies.  The guess is that the same holiday is celebrated in the UK but for a different reason.  We celebrate for the bountiful glories …

Wednesday, November 3, 2021
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Strange bedfellows

When someone says, “The world has come together” it’s often a combination of “strange bedfellows.”  The most recent occurred this past Sunday when dart fans, children and trannies all dressed up to go trick or treating.  The darters were in Amsterdam for the £300,000 Jack’s World Series …

Saturdat, October 20, 2021
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Nicknames abound in the PDC!

Salzburg, Austria, played host to the 2021 “How’s Your Old” Cazoo European Championship.  The prize fund of £500,000 included £120,000 for the winner, an increase from the recently concluded Grand Prix.  More importantly, the irritating double start was gone which meant the pros would …

Saturdat, October 16, 2021
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STungston Double Start Heaven for the ODC – and Johnny Clayton!

The Old Dart Coach was in his element when the £450,000 BoyleSports World Grand Prix kicked off on October 3 in the dart year 2021.  The seven-day event would be filled with missed double starts, whopping finishes and …

Friday, October 1, 2021
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SHERROCK/ASHTON RULE WOMEN’S SERIES

The Old Dart Coach has made no secret that he prefers ladies to gents.  He’s oft quoted, “If I had realized I liked the ladies so much I’d have been a better person.”  Mr. Phelps of Mission Impossible wouldn’t have undertaken a shot at that …

Thursday, September 23, 2021
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FALLON SURE ROCKS!

The Old Dart Coach’s late mother, Irene Maud Reed, was want to say, “My God the Bridge!” when emotions flared, or the train went off the tracks.  Why she favored this saying has never been clarified.  She was born in London (England) and raised in …

Tuesday, September 14, 2021
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Scotland shocks Austria!  Austria shocks everyone!

As the dawn breaks over the City of Entertainment the Old Dart Coach hopes that today’s (well, actually, Sunday’s) Cazoo World Dart Cup will enthuse the crowd.  To this point they have been as quiet as crowds at the Old Embassy where …

Saturday, September 11, 2021
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Belgium KO’d by Austria, Yanks Bye-bye, 7 Seeds Advance

This is the first time since 2016 that all seeds advanced to the round of 16.  For those seeded teams that didn’t look good the experts’ said, “They’ll play better in singles.”  Most did play better except for Belgium.  How …

Friday, September 10, 2021
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Japan lights up the stage.  Seeds don’t, but advance.

Another GREAT day with the World Cup – and beer!

One of the stupider statements came from announcer Stuart Pike.  “Darts is becoming popular in Japan.”  Machine darts is BIG in Japan, steel darts not so much.  The Japanese duo …

Thursday, September 9, 2021
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Netherlands, Poland & USA: SOCKO!  Singapore gets a Mulligan.

Day One of the Cazoo World Cup began when the resplendent John McDonald called the meeting to order on a day that had been a sunny 80 degrees in Jena, Germany.  Prior to the opening dart, the Old Dart Coach …

Wednesday, September 8, 2021
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2021 World Cup of Darts PREDICTIONS!

The Old Dart Coach was singing at the top of his voice with all his baby heart (in the key of ugly):

How is your mother,  

How is your brother,  

How is your sister Sue 

How is your Granny   

How is your Fanny …

Monday, July 26, 2021
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Colorful hair, pants, shoes, “Old Mo” and Snakebite GIT ‘ER DONE!

The Old Dart Coach could dine on crow, fava beans and a nice Chianti (not Pierazzuoli Chianti Montalbano Riserva 2015 – but on the brown bag stuff).  But still, his Matchplay predictions were right more than wrong.  He …

Friday, July 22, 2021
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And this year’s World Matchplay champion will be…

Matchplay 2021 officially kicked off at the Winter Gardens when Dimitri Van den Bergh belatedly raised the Phil Taylor Trophy he won last year.  That one played sans crowd in Milton Keys.  The Old Dart Coach was shocked that presenter John …

Friday, July 16, 2021
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Tip a few for Andy Fordham

As the summer wind blows across the English landscape the last two of the Brit’s four premier summer sporting events are played.  Already in the books is “The Championship,” the official name for Wimbledon, and Euro 2020 – played in 2021.  So far, …

Thursday, June 25, 2021
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Has the ADO filed for bankruptcy?

The ether will be filled with dart stories in the coming weeks and months predicting what the future holds.  That applies to both steel and machine…

The speculation will be based on little bits of fact and globs of guessing – all nicely …

Thursday, June 3, 2021
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THE FERRET RULES!

In 1939, author Agatha Christie published her best-known mystery story.  Most know it as either “10 Little Indians” or “Then There Was None.”  Neither was the original title.

If published today, “Ten Little Indians” would be titled “Ten Height Challenged Human Persons from the Subcontinent.”

In …

Friday, May 21, 2021
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Rest in Peace, Terry O’Dea – more gold gone from the Golden Age

There are times when the Old Dart Coach takes advantage of this space to wax “not very eloquently” about the Golden Age of Darts.  The ODC accepts that today’s players wonder what the hell the “aged …

Tuesday, April 24, 2021
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The torch passes…

There is an old canard around that to be a successful person it’s necessary to be evil, mean, a slave driver and generally unpleasant to those who are of little value economically to you.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Currently, in North America there are few “new” canards as …

Tuesday, April 14, 2021
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The ODC scoops the (little) big boys, again!

As most regular readers know, the Old Dart Coach avoids the spotlight like the devil does holy water.  Those who knew him during the Golden Era are well aware that he’d routinely slip into a tournament hall, always inconspicuously dressed in …

Thursday, April 1, 2021
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BREAKING NEWS from the PDC!

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Information in this column has been provided to Toeing the Oche by several different sources inside the PDC.  In that none of them authorized release of this information and have “no authority or permission to speak on the behalf of the Professional …

Wednesday, March 10, 2021
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Understanding “Q” School (and women)

There are reports circulating that the largest book ever published is the recently released “How to Understand Women – Volume I”.  The book itself is 13,248 pages with an appendix of another 2,000 pages.  The equally hefty Volume II is due out early in …

Wednesday, February 10, 2021
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Beware, Johnny Clayton!

Mention the name John Travolta and most people think of the Academy Award-winning actor for Saturday Night Fever and Pulp Fiction.  Those of the Golden Generation of darts might have a different remembrance of him…

…maybe his role in the #1 TV sitcom in the …

Monday, January 18, 2021
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Baggish is wrong.  Sorry.

Sports in this 21st Century might best be elucidated by the term “sports analytics” – defined as a “collection of relevant historical, statistics that can provide a competitive advantage to a team or individual.”  (The use of same also gives a coach, manager or owner …

Wednesday, January 6, 2021
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HOLY MOLEY, MR. FOLEY… THE PRICE WAS RIGHT!

The PDC has crowned a new World Champion and new World #1 – Wales native, Gerwyn Price – and presented him with the Sid Waddell Trophy and a check for £500,000!

Price defeated former World Champion Gary Anderson 7-3.  When Price …

Wednesday, December 23, 2020
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Baggish Bags Big Baby

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” and “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” are the Old Dart Coach’s two favorite Christmas songs – the latter written in the heat of a July day in Los Angeles by Mel Tormé.  The ODC sings it in the key …

Thursday, December 3, 2020
Column HR294
A Clown Moans

In practically all sports some athletes reach a point where they view themselves as abused and put upon – chagrined that they’re not receiving the fawning praise they feel they “deserve.”   They expect respect.  They feel slighted if they aren’t granted assorted wishes with a snap …

Wednesday, November 25, 2020
Column HR293
CONGRATULATIONS Jose Augusto Oliveira de Sousa!

For those in the Colonies may I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving.  It’s the one day of the year that we feast on turkey, a bird that just days ago was yelling “BAHH.”

Can’t fool a darter.  For those into history the …

Wednesday, November 11, 2020
Column HR292
Congratulations Wales!

As Slim Pickens said in Blazing Saddles, “What in the wide, wide world of sports is a goin’ on here?”  He could have seen the future of the just concluded PDC World Cup of Darts X…

The Old Dart Coach was wrong with his predictions of …

Thursday, October 29, 2020
Column HR291
It’s PDC World Cup time!

With a chill in the air and All Hollow’s Eve knocking at the door the Old Dart Coach is ready for his once a year treat.  Yes, it’s PDC World Cup time!

The drunk Irish Potato Head has called for the PDC World Cup …

Thursday, October 15, 2020
Column HR290
Whoops – the ODC did it again!

Like many humans and despite evidence to the contrary, the aging Old Dart Coach tries to multi-task.  That usually results in disaster.

When he appears in print, he’s often held accountable with malice aforethought.  Many recent emails suggest that the ODC’s fireplace …

Thursday, October 1, 2020
Column HR289
Huston, Gershwin, Peggy Lee – and DARTS?

In 1938, the year of the Old Dart Coach’s birth, actor Walter Huston took to the stage in New York to sing the “September Song” in the musical Knickerbocker Holiday.  He sang:

Oh, it’s a long, long while from May to …

Monday, September 14, 2020
Column HR288
Strange Year Par Uno

Some relish calling the Old Dart Coach the ultimate Captain Oblivious.  He obliges.

It’s been an unusual year for the Professional Darts Corporation and darts in general in oh so many ways – but the demise of the British Darts Organization (BDO) must top the …

Tuesday, August 18, 2020
Column HR287
STOP IT!

The Old Dart Coach likes to reminisce about them “Golden Days of Darts” but when he does many readers echo his pal, Nurse Fluff, and say “STOP IT!”

Regardless, thanks to Facebook postings by Bill Specht fond memories of that era are being brought back and shared …

Wednesday, July 27, 2020
Column HR286
World Matchplay wrap-up – and more BLM!

The Old Dart Coach fell off the soapbox last week.  Battered and bruised he’s rejoining the fray…

Of course, darts has always required skill, predominantly hand-eye coordination, and stamina – when prodigious amounts of “aiming fluid” and “group tighter” are involved.

But …

Wednesday, July 22, 2020
Column HR285
Matchplay and Racism?

All sports and those who write about them are part of a circus and “under the big top” today the not invisible “elephant in the ring” is racism.

The definition of racism (which the majority of people surely can’t recite) is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed …

Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Column HR284
As the Darts World Turns…

The longest daily “soap serial” in the USA was The Guiding Light. The daily program ran for 72 years on radio and television. The Guiding Light is only topped for longevity in the USA by the Grand Ole Opry which started in 1929 …

Tuesday, June 9, 2020
Column HR283
Rest well with the angels, Dave Kelly

These written efforts to chronicle darts began in the late 1970s when a very nice lady asked a “B” league dart player to do a column for the Northern California Darts Association newsletter. (The lady requests that her name not be used.)…

Thursday, May 21, 2020
Column HR282
Alright already!

Like most everyone the Old Dart Coach has had it up to here with the coronavirus or Covid-19.  Photos of the virus, which looks like a golf ball sprouting mushrooms, appear wherever one looks. As the late Irene Maude Reed would say (using a fake Jewish accent …

Wednesday, April 29, 2020
Column HR281
Beware! They walk among us!

With sports in virtual mode until goodness knows when, the Old Dart Coach has to actually do some creative thinking – a task which many, including his Most Honorable Editor, label “impossible.”

The PDC has transformed into virtual group matches called the Unibet Home …

Monday, April 13, 2020
Column HR280
Danger in success

From Day One the Old Dart Coach has exalted what the Professional Dart Corporation has done for darts.

During a recent phone conversation, a longtime force in darts said, “I never would have believed what has happened and where the sport is today.”  He was spot …

Wednesday, April 1, 2020
Column HR278
Drivel

This is not an April Fools effort.  Sad but true.

With sports locked down tighter than a Scotchman’s wallet the Old Dart Coach will revert to writing about nothing or, as the late Bill Nicoll Sr. would say, “You write drivel.”

Darts currently is deader than Kelsey’s reproductive …

Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Column HR278
http://dartoidsworld.net/?p=5943&preview=trueCoronavirus and a Great White attack!

The edict came down from on high (translation: from the Most Honorable Editor) that the Old Dart Coach must prepare a darting column this week.  But the Most Honorable One had a ground rule…

“You may not mention the coronavirus or any boring …

Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Column HR277
Is the PDC losing its mind?

As difficult as it may be to believe The Old Dart Coach has an ego as wide and deep as the Grand Canyon. This condition can affect anyone (or entity) which becomes overly enamored with oneself (or itself).  As an expert on ego …

Wednesday, February 12, 2020
Column HR276
Peter Wright’s critics should STFU!

Back when the Old Dart Coach was still waiting to add the word “Old” to his nom de plume he was asked by a lady, “How do you write a column?”  He gave some lager-fueled answer which seemed to satisfy her – a first …

Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Column HR275
Eatin’ crow!

After dining on a meal of “crow” (medium rare), fava beans and a nice Chianti the Old Dart Coach is ready to give this column deal another try…

Recently, the ODC wrote, “In the history of sport, no sport has made such a rapid rise to prominence …

Monday, January 13, 2020
Column HR274
Fallon Sherrock, the BDO and and URGENT call for darters to help a friend!

The Old Dart Coach goes on an unexpected sabbatical that included a 43-day stay at a luxury establishment with 24-hour service and lousy food… and all hell breaks loose in the Motha Country, the alpha …

Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Column HR273
Well ADO, it’s damn sure broke.  Now FIX IT!

As the World Darts Federation’s World Cup XIX said goodbye to Cluj-Napoca, Romania, it was the end of a historic event.  The men’s overall gold went to the Netherlands by 3 points over Wales (90-87). This was only the second …

Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Column HR272
Some WDF World Cup participants may need to visit the Three Dot Lounge

During this visit to your computer screen the Old Dart Coach was going to introduce you to the Three Dot Lounge…

Were the Three Dot Lounge an actual physical structure it would have 8 dartboards and …

Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Column HR270
Letters (emails) to the Old Dart Coach!

Those of you who in age are near or past the speed limit on Germany’s autobahn (80 MPH) may remember the American crooner Perry Como. He visited America’s homes with a weekly TV variety show.  At some point he’d sing “Letters… we …

Thursday, August 15, 2019
Column HR269
What color unicorn would you like?

A few weeks ago, the Old Dart Coach received an email. The communication arrived shortly after the ODC made remarks critical of “dart commentator” Paul Nicholson.

“I have concluded we are alike. I only said he was a monotone commentator – didn’t say …

Friday, August 2, 2019
Column HR268
World Matchplay Reflections – a Midsummer Night’s Dream

In 1595-96, William Shakespeare produced “A Midsummer’s Night Dream.”  It’s said to be a comedy, which the Old Dart Coach will accept as fact.  (NOTE: This fellow Shakespeare was a writer not the Shakespeare that makes great fishing equipment.)

“A Midsummer’s …

Tuesday, July 24, 2019
Column HR267
Earthquakes, darts and Brits – Par Deux

Senior Russ Lopez best characterized the US Dart Masters (aka World Series of Darts) as a “Darting Family Reunion.” He was spot on.  The Old Dart Coach and others enjoyed meeting old friends and making new ones while spinning tales, real and …

Tuesday, July 16, 2019
Column HR266
Earthquakes, darts and Vegas – Par Uno

WOW, what a week!

The Red Socks played the “Yang Ees” in London at the home of West Ham United.  The President of the USA met the “Boss” of North Korea on the DMZ. The Brits invaded Las Vegas.

Las Vegas felt …

Friday, June 28, 2019
Column HR265
The British are coming! (Paul Revere was a loudmouth!)

In just days, the PDC invasion of Las Vegas will be in full swing. The Old Dart Coach’s pals and palettes will be there in all their once remembered glory. On the 4^th of July (which may be America’s …

Thursday, June 20, 2019
Column HR264
The reason the UK celebrates July 4th!

As the world is well aware, the Old Dart Coach is an even tempered, mild mannered person never known to fly off the handle. Rumors have him still in the running for this year’s Mother Teresa Award. He likes, in no particular …

Sunday, June 9, 2019
Column HR263
BetVictor PDC World Cup of Darts – Final Day

The final day promised much and delivered. It was a day to remember!

Quarter-finals (format: two singles best of 7-501. If tied, doubles best of 7-501. First to 2 points advances to the semi-finals)

The quarter finals saw another …

Saturday, June 8, 2019
Column HR262
BetVictor PDC World Cup of Darts – Day Three

As the Old Dart Coach predicted England went out without firing a shot. The Republic of Ireland with William O’Conner averaging 115 advanced to the quarter finals – O’Conner took out Rob Cross 4-3.

For the USA it was another …

Friday, June 7, 2019
Column HR261
BetVictor PDC World Cup of Darts – Day Two

Today saw the end of round one.

The leisurely pace now quickens as all reaming teams see action tomorrow. The format changes from doubles only to singles, and doubles if necessary. We’re told the format change will be fairer for …

Thursday, June 6, 2019
Column HR260
BetVictor PDC World Cup of Darts – Day One

When the sun rose this morning in Hamburg, Germany, at 5:29 a.m. the odds were good that few if any of the 2 million-plus metropolitan area population knew or even cared that in just 15 hours the PDC World Cup …

Thursday, May 30, 2019
Column HR259
It’s time again for the BetVictor PDC World Cup of Darts!

Have you noticed that none of the wagering sites have female or transgender names? To be fair, shouldn’t there be a “The BetPickles” or “BetBruce/Caitlyn” or even just a “BetVictor/Victoria” World Cup? Walk-on girls were dumped in the …

Monday, May 20, 2019
Column HR258
This week’s Premier League finals… and a beautiful Latin lady

It’s time for the Old Dart Coach to do his spring column cleaning – to bring the dear faithful reader the rest of the news in the darting world that’s fit to print.

The Premier League finals are this …

Thursday, May 16, 2019
Column HR257
Bend over.  Grab your ankles.

Sometimes the Old Dart Coach has to grab his ankles and admit he made a mistake. This is one of those times.  He issues this apology after first calling Guinness to register his recent error.

In his last column the ODC wrote that Ian …

Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Column HR256
Some things are true because they’re true!

As he has want to do, the Old Dart Coach was musing at his humble Hacienda estate. He wrote on April 29, 2019, that “Some things are true because they’re true.”

For example, for sports music May is the best. It starts …

Monday, April 11, 2019
Column HR255
It was a dark and stormy night…

…many years ago, on December 31.

(In truth, it wasn’t “dark and stormy” but in the mid-50s with occasional showers. “Dark and stormy” sounds more literary.)

At Pine Meadows Golf Course in Martinez, California, the New Year’s Eve revelry was slowly taking …

Monday, April 1, 2019
Column HR254
NEWS ALERT times deux!

As all in the world darting universe are aware, the Old Dart Coach is always described as “calm, cool and collected.” It’s possible that Rudyard Kipling was writing about him when he penned, “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing …

Monday, March 18, 2019
Column HR253
An all-encompassing Darts Hall of Fame… and the DRA is whack-a-doodle!

The Old Dart Coach was recently bemoaning the absence of an all-encompassing Darts Hall of Fame – a place of recognition for all the great darters, not merely those in the separate PDC or USA Halls. (Just to …

Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Column HR252
To all the ladies: Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Only a publicity stunt,” said former darting great Dr. Linda Batten.  Whatever could she be talking about?  Was it the PDC’s grand announcement that all Golden Elixir (aka “aiming fluid” – as if the folks in the silly costumes were aiming for …

Thursday, January 31, 2019
Column HR251
“Miracle” Mikuru Suzuki (nearly) shocks Paul Lim!

The Old Dart Coach got the shock of his life when last week’s column produced two responses, neither of which started with “You suck.”

What was even more amazing was that it appeared both people not only read the column but understood …

Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Column HR250
“I come here to praise the ADO, not bury it.”

The Old Dart Coach is “old school” as the name implies. That conjures up the image of someone with the tendency to repeat things and romanticize the past.  The ODC pleads guilty asking the darting public to cut him …

Tuesday, January 15, 2019
Column HR249
“Miracle” Mikuru Suzuki

One of the Old Dart Coach’s favorite’s movies is Ronin. In that movie Sam, an undercover CIA agent, states, “When there is no doubt there is a doubt.” Not this time Bucko.

No doubt about it. Machine darts and the PDC have altered the course …

Friday, January 4, 2019
Column HR248
CONGRATULATIONS Michael van Gerwen and Mr. John Lowe

Michael van Gerwen started the New Year in fine fettle earning his third PDC World Championship convincingly over Michael Smith 7-3 (3-1, 3-1, 3-1, 3-2, 2-3, 0-3, 3-1, 3-2, 2-3, 3-1). On his way to the £500,000 top prize and Sid …

Tuesday, December 11, 2018
Column HR247
The World Championship is days away and the PDC has checked all but one box!

This is the traditional holiday column in which the Old Dart Coach kicks things off by singing “Deck the Hall with balls from Holly,” one of the great Christmas tunes. Too many people in …

Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Column HR246
Darts and Farts!

To quote the Chairman of the Board, the late Frank Sinatra, “And now, the end is near…”

Yes, it’s the end of another exciting year of darts and beer. Only the World Championships remain on the PDC Tour.  Beware: the ODC has laid down an oche …