Dartoid’s Column

Friday, November 1, 2024
Column 674
How to Become a Superior Chalker

The Ten Commandments for Keeping Score 

Scorekeepers SHALL NOT:

1. Talk while keeping score!
2. Move about while keeping score.  Stand still!
3. Look at the shooter.  Stand facing the board!
4. Call out a score, of one …

Monday, October 7, 2024
Column 673
The Return of Mr. Darts Language Person!

With all the recent alarm about pandemics, wars and rigged elections I suppose it’s not surprising that my e-mail in-box has been pounded by darts folk with questions like, “Do you think the ADO is responsible?”

For the record I do not.  …

Monday, September 30, 2024
Column 672
The General and Mr. Magoo

Sitting at the table next to me at dinner was a tall, gray-haired man.  About seventy years of age, his hair was cropped tight, military style.  He was dressed casually in a blue, short sleeve shirt, pressed beige Dockers, and black loafers.  Back home …

Monday, September 7, 2024
Column 671
If a dart were to hit Earth at the speed of light…

…the event would be catastrophic due to the immense energy involved. Below is a detailed breakdown of the consequences.

[DISCLAIMER: A physicist (I don’t know who) wrote this.  I don’t understand a damn word of …

Monday, September 2, 2024
Column 670
Zack the monkey learns that reputations cannot be stolen

Once upon a time there was a monkey.  His name was Zack.  He was a dumb monkey but, he was not the president of a country.

Zack the monkey lived in Africa.

The other monkeys ate coconuts.  They knew where …

Tuesday, August 27, 2024
Column 669
Darts in Paradise – BAD NEWS!

The Darts in Paradise tournament and festival will not take place as planned and promoted for June 2025 in Cancun.

After a few weeks of uncertainty, my partner was asked by text on August 17th if the tournament was cancelled – the response …

Friday, June 28, 2024
Column 668
“Nuclear” Darts

“I’m a travelin’ man, I’ve made a lot of stops all over the world,” crooned Ricky Nelson in 1961. The song was a massive hit, rising to the top of the charts. Teenage girls swooned. Not widely known is that the tune was written for Sam …

Wednesday, May 15, 2024
Column 663
So, you’re not Luke Littler but want to become a darts millionaire…

Some years ago, I nearly puked the night before the Super Bowl. I’d turned on Regis Philban’s new show (Who Wants to be a Millionaire?) to be blasted with a full HOUR of questions …

Saturday, April 20, 2024
Column 662
IT’S ABOUT TIME AGAIN for Rocky’s Annual Roadside Outdoor Darts Tournament!

There’s Marciano, Graziano, Balboa, and the 41st Vice President of the United States…

You’ve got those big mountains.

And don’t forget the squirrel!

Then there’s “Rocky” the darts dude from Parkhill, Ontario, Canada.

Surely this guy – …

Monday, April 1, 2024
Column 661
Gaga for Gaga

I have experience interviewing, or at least trying to, women who don’t necessarily fit the stereotype of your typical Girl Next Door…

For example, back in the early 1970’s, I did a one-on-one with Deep Throat actress, Linda Lovelace for my college newspaper. Trust me …