Dartoid’s Column

Saturday, February 25, 2025
Column 679
Darts in Israel before the Hamas killers!

Shalom!

If you’re looking for a game of darts and don’t mind throwing in a joint where a suicide bomber might be sitting at the bar, I have a recommendation.  The name of the place is Café Noga.  Billed as an “old …

Monday, February 10, 2025
Column 678
Valentines are Fucked (an inappropriate guest column by Jerry Masterson, age 8, that has nothing to do with darts)

Valentines are fucked!  And while this sentence may be similar in theme to my previous column, “Kissing Girls is Fucked!” – they are both non-debatable points.

I will now …

Wednesday, January 22, 2025
Column 677
A trillion darts…

When I learned recently that President Elon Musk is projected to be a trillionaire within ten years I was reminded of an article by Jacqueline Leo in The Fiscal Times that caught my eye a while back.

Don’t ask me what I was doing reading The …

Wednesday, January 1, 2025
Column 676
Happy New Year!  For 2025, I resolve…

…to spend more time with my wife – to achieve this I will reduce my nights out throwing darts from five to four. On second thought, I think I’ll just take her to the bar with me.

I resolve to drink less …

Thursday, December 19, 2024
Column 676
When a friend betrays (or the reason Darts in Paadise was “CANCELLED”)

“A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”  This is the West Point Code of Honor.  They always said that in the civilian world the difficult part would be the last four words.…

Sunday, December 1, 2024
Column 675
Happy Holidays!

Dear Friends…

It is that time of year again to share with you Mrs. Dartoid’s and my adventures in this journey we call life.  2024 has been another year of magic and wonder…

Lori, who we adopted from Argentina in January, is almost three and quite a …

Friday, November 1, 2024
Column 674
How to Become a Superior Chalker

The Ten Commandments for Keeping Score 

Scorekeepers SHALL NOT:

1. Talk while keeping score!
2. Move about while keeping score.  Stand still!
3. Look at the shooter.  Stand facing the board!
4. Call out a score, of one …

Monday, October 7, 2024
Column 673
The Return of Mr. Darts Language Person!

With all the recent alarm about pandemics, wars and rigged elections I suppose it’s not surprising that my e-mail in-box has been pounded by darts folk with questions like, “Do you think the ADO is responsible?”

For the record I do not.  …

Monday, September 30, 2024
Column 672
The General and Mr. Magoo

Sitting at the table next to me at dinner was a tall, gray-haired man.  About seventy years of age, his hair was cropped tight, military style.  He was dressed casually in a blue, short sleeve shirt, pressed beige Dockers, and black loafers.  Back home …

Monday, September 7, 2024
Column 671
If a dart were to hit Earth at the speed of light…

…the event would be catastrophic due to the immense energy involved. Below is a detailed breakdown of the consequences.

[DISCLAIMER: A physicist (I don’t know who) wrote this.  I don’t understand a damn word of …