Wednesday, April 17, 2024
Column HR451
Total eclipse of…
When the Old Dart Coach heard on the radio (that’s TV with no picture) the term “Total Eclipse” he thought someone was talking about the 1983 tune by Bonnie Tyer “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Foolish knave, he. It was a total eclipse of the sun that was seen in part of the USA. The ODC didn’t see it. Instead, he’ll wait until 2044 when the next eclipse occurs. (This from a guy that doesn’t buy green bananas.)
The eclipse caused people to go Donkey Kong crazy. Congressperson Shekia Jackson Lee told high students that the moon is a planet made up mostly of gases and that she wants to be the first to learn how to live there. She later said she “misspoke.”
A colleague of hers from Alabama was concerned that if too many people got on one side of the island of Guam it may tip over. Finally, one of the hens that cackle on the TV show “The View” claimed that the eclipse was caused by climate change. Yes, they walk among us.
Regardless, some strange things did occur in the world of darts – so blame them on the eclipse…
THE CROSS BORDER CHALLENGE
The CDC (Championship Dart Circuit) held its second Cross Border Challenge where 8 Canadian players faced 8 from the USA. The event, broadcast on the PDC channel, provided a dart fix over the weekend for those that needed one. The ODC, as is his duty, watched…
The first thing he heard was a during the opening match when a commentator said: “This match will depend on doubles.” No sh*t, Sherlock.
Two favorites from the Golden Era Dart Players bit the dust straight away…
Three times world champion John Part fell to Stowe Buntz 5-1 and Larry Butler went down 5-2 to Jacob Taylor. Both Yanks missed doubles which could have made the matches closer. Close counts only in horseshoes and hand grenades, along with beer and hardboiled egg trumpeting.
All in all, it wasn’t a great day for the Yanks as they fell behind 5-3. The star of Day Uno was Alex Spellman (against Canadian Sylvain Bourdeau). With all legs going with the darts Spellman led 3-2 when he crushed Bourdeau, against the darts, with a 9-dart masterpiece of back-to back T80s, closing from T41.
The quarter finals saw Stowe Buntz and Alex Spellman advance as did the Maple Leaf’s Jake Macmillan and David Cameron. Macmillan fell behind Jacob Taylor 2-nil, then ran 5 in a row. David Cameron had a 3-0 lead on Danny Lauby. Lauby answered back with four in a row that included checks of T09, T17, 68 and 76 but Lauby’s lead evaporated when Cameron grabbed 2 as Lauby missed a pair of doubles to lose 5-4.
The final between Spellman and Cameron came down to a decider where Spellman had a chance for a 13-darter but missed 3 from 16. Early scoring allowed him a second chance for the 6-5 win.
Oh yes, Canada retained the Cross Broder Cup 10-6.
PREMIER LEAGUE
Michael van Gerwen broke the chokehold on Premier League play by darters named Luke as he defeated Luke Littler 6-3. van Gerwen had lost his last 6 Premier League matches. On his way to victory van Gerwen found himself down to Nathan Aspinall 2-4. van Gerwen leveled things at 4, then took off like a rocket. It became 5-4 with a T52-check. He then then used 13 darts to win 6-4.
In the semis, van Gerwen led Michael Smith 5-3 when Smith used a T07-check to move close at 5-4. Smith then got swamped by scoring as van Gerwen reached the final 6-4. The two Lukes met in the other semi – Littler won 6-5 closing with a 13-darter.
The final was even-Steven at 3 when van Gerwen pulled away with a pair of 15-darters and a 12-darter to win 6-3. van Gerwen averaged 90.38 which he celebrated with a fist pump and a “booyah!”. Wayne Weening a former world class player from Australia posted: “I’m not sure that a 90 average and a very ordinary final is deserving of the fist pumps and boooya, MvG.”
Rookie Luke Littler retains the Premier League standing lead by 2 points over the other Luke, with van Gerwen 4 points adrift.
EURO TOUR… RIESA GERMANY
Gerwyn Price had considered the International Darts Open his personal sandbox, winning four of the previous events in 2018, 2019, 2022 and 2023. Not this year, bucko, as Martin Schindler became only the third German to win a PDC title. Schindler, who had been the top German a decade ago, took the win by a convincing 8-5 over Price. Schindler got the “W” despite Price winning the battle of the averages 102.62 to 96.35. The doubles made the difference as the ODC learned from the CDC commentator.
Price led 2-0 but missed 5 doubles as Schindler tied the match. Price forged ahead 4-3. Schindler would level at 4 after Price missed a bull finish from 97. The tie was broken with a smooth T20 Shanghai finish from Schindler. Price again missed five doubles to fall behind 6-5, which Schindler followed with a 10-darter for 7-4. Price used 12 darts to get his 6th leg using the old d20, d20 finish. Schindler took advantage of Price going T20, 20, 0 from T80 for the 8-5 win.
Prince said after: “I’m a little bit disappointed in myself.” As he should be.
QUEEN DETA.
The transgender issue came to the fore at PDC ladies series. “It’s not just about the menstrual issue. Add menopause, fibroids, endometriosis with the side effects they bring – amongst those: stomach cramps, irritability, headaches, various degrees of bleeding, etc.”
Atta girl!
A FINAL NOTE ON THE ECLIPSE OF THE SUN
The eclipse came to the Eastern and Southwestern part of the USA from Mexico. It should be noted that this is the first thing that has traveled from Mexico into the USA that didn’t receive free medical, housing and a debit card.
Stay thirsty my friends.
