Thursday, September 1, 2011
Column HR53
Stacy Bromberg wuz ROBBED!
With the PDC back from their summer holiday at the Canadian Players Championships at the Hilton London in Ontario the Old Dart Coach is on one of his incessant rants…
With over 100 local players entered, one would think the PDC event should be the focus of this treatise. Nope.
If that alone didn’t oblige this space to the PDC’s only remaining North American trip John Part’s win on Saturday 6-4 over Wes Newton should have, at least one might think so. Nope.
That was followed on Sunday with the ODC’s other pal – his fan club is very limited – “Rocket” Ronnie Baxter scoring his second PDC win of the year via a 6-2 stroll over Kevin Painter. Is this the subject of this column? Nope again.
Even though Part banked £7,000 and Baxter £6,400 for the weekend the ODC is mostly ignoring the story.
DON QUIXOTE RIDES AGAIN
In a case of “same song different words” the ODC, as John Baxter used to say, is “playing Don Quixote walking into windmills.” Don Quixote? That’s the Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha who was introduced to the world by Miguel de Cervantes in 1605. If anyone cares, the ODC was introduced to the world of darts on January 1, 1977 sometime after 2 AM by Phil and Erlene Hakola while he was tending bar at the Meadows Lounge in Martinez, California. The Hakola’s have since been placed in a witness protection program.
Don Quixote’s description in some ways parallels the ODC’s. “Quixote eventually appears to other people to have lost his mind.” That’s the ODC. With Quixote this mind loss is attributed to “lack of sleep and food.” In the ODC’s case it’s too much food and drink and copious amount of darts along with watching Housewife’s of New Jersey. In the end Don Quixote “retires to his bed with a deadly illness possibly brought on by melancholy over his defeats and humiliations.” While the ODC may suffer the same ailments as Don Quixote he yet again mounts his trusty charger, which looks suspiciously like a giant can of Miller Genuine and unsheathes his sword while riding off in an attempt to slay yet another dragon. It’s actually the same dragon in the form of “Lèse majesté” – Lèse majesté” being the Royal Powers that rule “amateur darts” in the world.
THE DRAGON
The Dragon here is the World Dart Federation (WDF) with maybe an assist to the American Darts Organization (ADO). There is no valid argument – no logical or objective scenario – by which any reasonable person might reach any conclusion other than Stacy Bromberg is the best women dart player in the world. That statement is made with all due respect and egos aside to a slue of ladies tied for second. It’s also a given that the ODC considers the WDF a tool of “Lèse majesté” that typically adds 2 plus 2 and ends up with 5. As “Lèse majesté” they make up, disregard and/or ignore any of their wordy rules they don’t wish to follow. The WDF is made up of four types of people: Oily Croft, those that think they’re Oily Croft, those that want to be like Oily Croft and finally hard working people from the field of darts that want to do the right thing. The ADO’s Buddy Bartoletta probably falls in the latter group. On a whole the WDF Executive are self centered and ego driven. They are “the north end of horses traveling south.”
WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
Stacy Bromberg was named a member of the ADO 2011 Women’s World Cup team along with Brenda Roush. Bromberg is the reigning World Cup Women’s singles champion and ranked #16 by the WDF. In the year 2011 Bromberg has played in the 4 WDF events in the USA as well as 4 PDC events elsewhere along with 15-20 ADO events.
Bromberg was booted off the American Team by the WDF President Roy Price and Ms. Taina Nurmela (Communications Officer) with the approval of the WDF Executive which includes the ADO’s Buddy Bartoletta.
Bartoletta disputes that Bromberg was “booted off.”
She was named to the team, her photo was shown as a member of the ADO team on the WDF website, she got a ticket to fly to Ireland for the event and now she’s not on the team. “Booted “stands as written.
Bromberg is replaced on the American Team by Ms. Cali West. No disrespect to Ms. West but it ain’t exactly Lou Gehrig replacing Wally Pipp. With the removal of Bromberg the England women’s team has eliminated their primary opposition. King Oily Croft should have been doing the Snoopy Dance at his Muswell Hill compound but his joy was muted. (See following item)
How did this happen? One of the most awkward tasks in writing is quoting from written communications, especially those that have never been viewed. That is the case here. Quoting also leads to a lot of “he said,” “she answered” and “he replied” – which is a writer’s form of water torture. From this point forward Toeing the Oche will be quoting communications between WDF President Roy Price and Stacy Bromberg from August 16-17. The emails in question were read over the phone by Ms. Bromberg on August 25, 2011 with the ODC doing his best Our Ms. Brooks. Our Ms. Brooks? Back in the day she played the part of a secretary which today is called an “assistant.” With the ODC’s shorthand even worse than his longhand any misquoting can be chalked up to the ODC…
Two years ago, just prior to the 2009 World Cup in Charlotte, North Carolina, the WDF passed the following rule on eligibility: “They (players) must also actively play a majority of their competitive darts within the systems created and approved by WDF Member Dart Bodies.”
The next question should be: “What is a Member Darts Body”? No problemo with that one as the WDF Constitution has the answer: “Darts Body means the authorized member country’s darts organization which is a Member of the Federation (WDF).”
The following January, WDF President Roy Price was visiting Las Vegas and in particular CD’s Lounge which just happens to be home base for one Stacy Bromberg. She asked if the rule would effect her playing in WDF events. The answer was “No.”
NOW THE THOUGHT PLICKERS
When counties submitted their teams for the 2010 World Cup a player from Gibraltar reportedly had played 18 PDC events, 1WDF event and most of the events of the Gibraltar Darts Association (GDA). The WDF’s Dangerous Duo of President Roy Price and Ms. Taina Nurmela(described by a fellow Finn as an “arrogant jerk”) declared the player ineligible.
The GDA said “!No mames Jose’!” which you will recognize as “No way Jose’” in Spanish as Spanish is one of the languages of the nation. They pointed to the WDF rule: “They must also actively play the majority of their competitive darts within the systems created and approved by WDF Member Bodies.”
The Dangerous Duo of President Price and Ms. Taina Nurmela disagreed and in doing so pulled out of whole cloth their own interpretation of the rules. In effect Price said to Gibraltar “Ingen vei Jose’” which you instantly recognize as “no way Jose’” in Norwegian which Price may actually have to speak when he no longer lives in LONDON.
Price wrote to Bromberg on August 17: “Only tournaments included in the WDF World Ranking Systems can be included.” Well of course the By-laws say no such thing. No where in the WDF By-laws is there any mention of the “WDF World Ranking System” in regard to eligibility. The good folks of the GDA were madder than the Barbary macaques monkeys that call the Rock home. They decided to get even. Even thought it was the WDF Dangerous Duo that was the problem.
Price did mention that he spoke with other members of the Executive and they concurred. Well not all the members of the Executive, as he added “Not Olly.” Now if you believe that I’ve got some ocean front property for you all in Phoenix, Arizona.
In a later email to Ms. Bromberg, after she communicated that she played a vast majority of her events under the banner of the ADO, Price wrote, “This is precisely the argument being used by Gibraltar. They (GBA) say their internal events (mostly local pub leagues) must count towards their players’ tally of WDF events. I am saying they do not because they are not under the control or jurisdiction of the WDF. They are internal events where they can do what they like because they are promoted, organized, and sanctioned by their own national darts body. I have no doubts and am 100% certain that I am right.”
He is, of course, 100% wrong. The ODC has no doubt that Mr. Price, in the words of Mr. B. Bunny, is a “maroon”. With full disclosure a must, the ODC did some years ago suggest in person that Mr. Price might like to “KMA”. He didn’t but the offer remains. (A little “tweet” lingo added there to be contemporary.)
The GBA then scoured the list of World Cup entrants from every country and found that at least one player, Stacy Bromberg, was in their minds, ineligible according to the Price-Nurmela interpretation of a rule that doesn’t need interpretation. According to Buddy Bartoletta, “The research that they (GDA) did was completely inaccurate.” Bartoletta adds, “They did claim that they (GDA) researched every player and that there were 90 players that should be ineligible.” (Editors note: The GDA was contacted for their side of the story. They replied that “We have contacted the person that was proactive in this matter.” At press time no answer was received.)
So who then did the research into Bromberg’s eligibility? Probably the ever-vigilant WDF Dangerous Duo. They claimed that Bromberg entered 4 WDF events (winning 3 and being a semi-finalist in the other) but 4 “non-WDF events” – therefore ineligible to represent her country. Totally ignoring the 20 or so ADO-sanctioned events she entered, winning her fair share and probably someone else’s as well. They ignored completely their own rules that a player “must also actively play the majority of their competitive darts within the systems created and approved by WDF Member Bodies.”
The ADO is a WDF Member Body!
The GDA could have been 100% accurate using the ruling of the Dangerous Duo. Consider that 16 nations (Bahamas, Barbados, Brazil, Catalonia, Iceland, India, Iran, Isle of Man, Romania, Russia, Slovenija, South Africa, Spain, Trinidad & Tobago and Wales) have ZERO WDF Ranked Tournaments. Seven (7) countries have just one WDF event (Czech Republic, Denmark, Italy, Japan, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland). Players from one of the 16 nations with ZERO WDF tournaments or from any of the countries with just one WDF event would not be eligible to play the World Cup as it would be impossible to play in a majority of WDF events. For example, a player, say from Catalonia, would have no WDF tournaments in his or her country. So he or she could not – no way on Earth – have played a “majority WDF tournaments (and would therefore be) “ineligible”. With 16 countries with ZERO WDF events (plus 7 countries with just one WDF event) and with 6 players per country it is not unreasonable to calculate that at least as many as 90 players, and probably many more, would be ruled ineligible according to strict application of the Dangerous Duo’s ruling.
But it is only Stacy Bromberg (and one player from Gibraltar ) who are ineligible to play in the World Cup.
A LITTLE LOVE FOR PRICE
Break out the hanky for poor Mr. Price. “I make no secret of the fact that this is a decision I did not want to make,” writes Price. Okay then, why did he make it?
“I agree that to compare your (Bromberg’s) record with that of the Gibraltar player is unfair, but I have been forced to make a strict interpretation of the rules by Gibraltar who brought my attention to your situation… in such a way that I could not ignore it. I am in a “no win” situation here.” No, he made up an interpretation of a rule with no basis in written fact, probably at the urging of someone from England, so he had to stick with it.
“Had I decided to turn a blind eye to both players with a 4-4 situation then it would be determined (correctly) that I had bent the rules and showed favoritism to certain players.” Did he turn a blind eye to those players that played in NO WDF-ranked events? You betcha Buckwheat! Had Price followed the “letter” of the rules none of this would have happened.
Mr. Price then wrote, “This would damage my credibility as WDF President, which I could not allow to happen. Please remember that I am accountable to all member countries for all decisions I make.” Price may state that he is “accountable to all member countries for all decisions” but if he doesn’t do what the man in England says he won’t be re-elected. The WDF President has no credibility.
SO WHAT… ARAB SPRING?
In the end the Old Dart Coach never laid a sword on the Dragon. He came up empty – the best woman dart player in the world isn’t allowed to play in the ultimate amateur darting event while others who played in NO WDF-ranked events are.
Same tune different faces.
Maybe from the most unlikely source there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Looks like the Arab Spring has reached the “Motha Country”. Arab Spring has seen the fall of dictators Hosni Mubarak in Egypt, Muammar Gadhafi in Libya and maybe Bashar al-Assad in Syria who has one foot on a banana peal and the other in the grave. Heck of a run on Grape Kool Aid lately.
Dictators usually start as visionaries but morph into dictators with age as the vision wanes. The “BDO Spring,” like the Arab Spring had warning signs. For some time county officials had expressed their displeasure with the state of the BDO to Boss Oily Croft. Once (possibly) a visionary, Croft morphed into a dictator. Like all dictators Croft ignored what he didn’t want to hear.
Now add to the list of fallen dictators the name of Oily Croft and the Godfathers of the BDO. In a coupe brilliantly engineered at the BDO Annual General Meeting a bloodletting of Croft and his fellow BDO Board Members took place. BDO Chairman Dave Alderman saw the handwriting on the wall and resigned before the vote.
Croft showed his usual lack of grace by refusing to go quietly – although, unlike Saddam Hussein, he is neither hiding in a hole in the ground nor will he be hung from the Tower of London. The last execution at the Tower of London was of a German spy in 1941.
The new BDO Board is headed by Chairman Barry Gilbert who Croft dismisses as “he’s a fireman. How can a fireman run an organization like the BDO?” The quick answer would be “honestly” amid rumors that more pounds have disappeared than a city of fat women on Jenny Craig. (Croft seems to forget that before the BDO he was a tile salesman for Croft Brothers Tile.)
Croft is equally dismissive of the rest of the board. “There’s not a businessman among them.” Some might question the credentials of Croft as a businessman.
Reportedly Croft has gone to ESPN, which is to televise this weekend’s Winmau World Masters, trying to convince them to cancel. His tack is that “No one but me can run the event.” When asked about the BDO World Championships event held at the Lakeside each year Croft said, “Bob Potter (Lakeside owner) and I trust each other and we do everything on a handshake.” A handshake equals nothing in writing or, as Hollywood mogul Harry Cohen once said, “His handshake isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”
With the resignation of Dave Alderman and the ousting of Croft from the BDO the WDF may have a couple of big holes to fill on its Executive. No pun intended.
With Croft and Alderman no longer representing a WDF member country are they allowed to hold Executive offices? Probably.
AND FINALLY
Unlike Don Quixote, the ODC didn’t retire to his bed a victim of “melancholy over his defeat and humiliations”. Like Quixote, he seems to enjoy fighting the good fight.
Bromberg is out of the World Cup, which is a disgrace.
Others should probably be out as well but in the end all should be playing.
It is NO business of the WDF who represents a country.
The ODC instead retired to the Second Chance Pub where “god forbid” they play machine darts. While enjoying a cold pint with his latest favorite bartender, Ms. Sondra, a male person entered the crowded venue carrying a large child’s stuffed monkey. The person in question was dressed in knee length dirty cargo pants, gray socks, sandals and a wife beater t-shirt covered with a dull short sleeved sport shirt…
His arms were covered in tattoos. He had earrings hanging with fishing line from his ears, a couple facial piercings and tattoos replacing his shaved eyebrows.
He presented Ms. Sondra with the aforementioned child’s stuffed monkey.
He then walked to the other side of the bar and sat next to the ODC. “I gave the monkey to Sondra because it freaks out my girlfriend.”
After replying “Go figure” the ODC ordered another pint.
