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Column #HR418 BEAU IS BODACIOUS!

Monday, July 24, 2023
Column HR418 
BEAU IS BODACIOUS!

The 7 top women and one “I Feel Like a Woman” toed the oche for the second Women’s World Matchplay – the winner would bank £10,000.  The show opened with a collage of women’s legends of darts.  Shame on the PDC for ignoring the fact that there were great female dart players well before those that they featured – Maureen Flowers, Linda Barren, Sonja Ralphs, Mandy Solomons, Yoko Koyoma, Sandy Reitan-Green, Kathy Maloney, Kathy Karpowich, Deta Headman and Stacy Bromberg, among others.

The quarter finals were all sets of 7 with the 7+one ladies qualifying via the Women’s Series with seeding based on their series performance.  The big favorite going in had to be 19-year-old Beau Greaves.  It would be out of order to call her “Bodacious” Beau (after the famous bucking bull named Bodacious) who took pleasure in beating the cowboys and then stomping the.  Everyone knows that a female “bull” doesn’t exist, regardless of the “woke’ culture.

Beau’s opening match was “un-Beau-like” as she averaged only 82.36 in dispatching “I Feel Like a Woman” Noa-Lynn van Leuven 4-0.  It would be inappropriate to write that “Beau left van Leuven’s junk on the floor of the stage of the Winer Gardens.”

The Captain of Ireland (Robyn Byrne) would face the Captain of Wales (Rhian O’Sullivan) in a “wing ding doodle” of a tussle.  Byrne, throwing first, would be level with Sullivan at 2.  O’Sullivan, well known for her scoring prowess, strung together three T40 trips with a 81-finish to break going up 3-2.  Byrne broke back in 17 forcing a decider as O’Sullivan’s scoring disappeared with only one big triple in 18 darts.  Undaunted, O’Sullivan got to 40 with Byrne at 95 which disappeared in 2 darts with T19 and d19.

Mikuru Suzuki is the best women player not under King Charles’ reign – not only that but her walk on music, “Little Shark,” had the Winter Gardens rocking.  True fact – introducer John McDonald’s head was bobbin’ like he was doing the “Walk Like an Egyptian”.  Throwing first Suzuki went ahead 2-1.  That became 3-1 with a 76-close against Netherlands’ Aileen de Graaf.  de Graaf narrowed to 2-3 when a 13-darter by Suzuki, her best, closed the door.

The final quarter-final match promised high level darts.  Promises are made to be broken and this one was – both Lisa Ashton and Fallon Sherrock have played better.  Their combined finishes 5 of 25 speaks volumes as do their averages in the high 70s.  After 4 legs, the two ladies were level using darts of 22, 21, 21 and 19.  Lisa Ashton secured a 3-2 lead when Sherrock fired back with a 94-close and 12 darts to level once again.  Ashton, with the darts, had her best leg of 16 darts to take the 7th leg and the 4-3 win.  Sherrock, last year’s Matchplay winner, was sent home (she missed 5 from 50 to have won the 5th leg which would have put her one leg from victory).

Beau Greaves and Robyn Byrne would meet in the first semi-final with the format moving to first to 5.  Beau is likable not only for being a great player but also for her facial expressions which tell the story of how she feels.  A missed double or a wayward dart brings out the “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” look.  Her walk on music, “Rockin’ All Over The World,” takes the Old Dart Coach back to the Mediterranean Open (Malaga) where the disco blared it constantly.  The song, by the way, was written by John Fogerty with the big recording by Status Quo in 1977.

If Robyn Byrne was still thinking of her 95-out allowing her into the semis those dreams disappeared when Beau Greaves broke in 14 darts leading 1-nil.  Byrne leveled at 1 and 2, actually leading 3-2.  In 14, 15 and 13 darts Greaves would secure a spot in the finals 5-3.

Mikuru Suzuki averaged 92.16, best ever, to reach the semifinals over Lisa Ashton’s meager 76.  Suzuki opened a 3-0 lead by breaking, holding, then breaking again with a ton finish.  In the first three legs Ashton would never see a double.  That changed when Ashton got 2 back in 24 and 18 darts.  Ashton’s first win came after Suzuki missed 4 doubles.  Suzuki would lead 4-3 when a T80 left her 16 which she took out for the win 5-3.

If the final was the best example of women’s darts – it was a rather ugly Picasso painting.  “Torn softball or spinach on the teeth” come to mind.  For all intents and purposes, the outcome was decided in the first leg…

Against the darts from 121 Suzuki left 43 as Greaves sat on 64.  Suzuki’s first dart hit 24 leaving 19 in real time but in Suzuki time she saw 40 left.  Her first dart missed double tops and the last a 20 for a bust.  Greaves took the leg and the next 5.  Suzuki, who rarely shows emotion, was given away by her “moon-like face” as it turned as red as the sun on the flag of Japan.

Suzuki would garner one leg that showed how far off the boil she was.  With 46 left and going for the 6 to leave tops she hit d10 followed by d13.  Greaves would win 6-1 to take her first Matchplay title in her first attempt.  For her afternoon’s work she earned £10,000. 

Recap

  • Beau Greaves 4-0 over Noa-Lynn van Leuven
  • Robyn Byrne 4-3 over Rhian O’Sullivan
  • Mikuru Suzuki 4-2 over Aileen de Graaf
  • Lisa Ashton 4-3 over Fallon Sherrock

Semi-finals

  • Beau Greaves 5-3 over Robyn Byrne
  • Mikuru Suzuki 5-3 over Lisa Ashton

Final

  • Beau Greaves 6-1 over Mikuru Suzuki

Please note this effort was compiled without the use of AI (Artificial Intelligence)… many believe without any intelligence at all.

And finally: was it worth getting up at 5:00 am to watch?

Damn straight.

Stay thirsty my friends.

Author

  • Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid.

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