{"id":9251,"date":"2024-09-30T10:31:28","date_gmt":"2024-09-30T14:31:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/?p=9251"},"modified":"2024-09-30T10:31:28","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T14:31:28","slug":"column-672-the-general-and-mr-magoo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2024\/09\/column-672-the-general-and-mr-magoo\/","title":{"rendered":"Column #672 The General and Mr. Magoo"},"content":{"rendered":"

Monday, September 30,<\/strong>\u00a02024
\nColumn 672
\nThe General and Mr. Magoo<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sitting at the table next to me at dinner was a tall, gray-haired man.\u00a0 About seventy years of age, his hair was cropped tight, military style.\u00a0 He was dressed casually in a blue, short sleeve shirt, pressed beige Dockers, and black loafers.\u00a0 Back home I\u2019d have thought him a respectable fellow.\u00a0 Maybe he was a retired General.<\/p>\n

Across the restaurant was another man, animated with silver glasses, shorter, rounder, bald with a white goatee, but also well into his late sixties.\u00a0 In his loose-fitting jogging clothes, he reminded me of Mr. Magoo.\u00a0 Back home I think I would have liked his company.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m not back home.<\/p>\n

Cuddled next to each was a small, young girl, neither near twenty-years-old, each possibly not yet a teenager.\u00a0 Both wore their raven-black hair tied in a ponytail, the way my daughter used to do.\u00a0 Both wore short skirts and bright tight-fitting tops to help market their undeveloped bodies.\u00a0 Neither smiled.<\/p>\n

I am in Bangkok – sitting in the restaurant of the Nana Hotel.\u00a0 Everywhere I look the scene is similar.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s no longer dinnertime.\u00a0 It\u2019s 3:00 a.m. and the place is bustling.\u00a0 Nana Entertainment Plaza, the \u201cnew\u201d Patpong, located directly across the street (Sukhumvit, Soi 4) has just closed for the night.\u00a0 Deals are still being negotiated.\u00a0 \u201cYou like?\u00a0 I show you good time.\u201d \u00a0It\u2019s about $25 for a \u201cshort time.\u201d \u00a0About $60 for a \u201clong time.\u201d \u00a0Tiny girls and old men pair off.\u00a0 They head to the elevators.<\/p>\n

Other men, younger, perhaps aware, perhaps not, are with gorgeous women, dressed beautifully, like showgirls from a Las Vegas nightclub.\u00a0 But the women are not women.\u00a0 Their deep voices, large hands and Adam\u2019s apples give them away.\u00a0 The women are called \u201cladyboys\u201d or katooys<\/em> in Thai.\u00a0 They are \u201cshe-males.\u201d<\/p>\n

Earlier, I threw darts at a highly recommended bar in the Plaza called the Woodstock Rock-n-Roll Bar and Restaurant.\u00a0 It\u2019s an outstanding venue.\u00a0 But what I saw coming and going was like nothing I\u2019ve ever witnessed.<\/p>\n

Just before dinner and prior to entering the Plaza, I nursed a Singha at an open-air bar called the Golden, on the street just across the way from the Plaza entrance.\u00a0 The night was early.\u00a0 It was still light.\u00a0 Small children offered to sell me gum and roses.\u00a0 A wrinkly-skinned man tried to interest me in a \u201cRolex.\u201d\u00a0 Women strolled by with babies in carriages.\u00a0 Taxies, tuk-tuks, and occasionally a car streamed by, filling the already stagnant, humid air with the choke of spent gasoline.\u00a0 On the other side of the street a vendor sold insects dipped in hot sauce.\u00a0 Along the sidewalk a man walked with a tall pole from which fluttered numerous small birds, apparently tied to strings.<\/p>\n

I headed to Woodstock just as darkness fell.\u00a0 As I walked under the red and blue neon Plaza archway sign, I could begin to hear the music.\u00a0 As I weaved further into the throng of people, the sound of the music grew stronger and the flashing rainbow colors of the bar signage pulsated with the beat – Cat House, Lolly Pop, Pretty Lady, Spanky\u2019s, Fantasia, and the G-spot. \u00a0\u00a0Hundreds, thousands it seemed, of beautiful girls and girls who weren\u2019t girls closed in.<\/p>\n

Not nearly as many boys, men, and old men surveyed the amazing scene.\u00a0 In a dozen different languages, the negotiating began.<\/p>\n

The Woodstock Rock-n-Roll Bar and Restaurant is located at the very back of the Plaza, on the second level.\u00a0 It\u2019s prominently marked with a large yellow sign and a red arrow.\u00a0 A ladyboy in a revealing white-lace top and bottom propositioned me as I climbed the stairs.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t understand\u2026<\/p>\n

When the large double wooden door of the Woodstock closed behind me, I was transported back to a time and place I did understand.\u00a0 One entire wall of shelves was lined with CDs – Canned Heat, Big Brother and the Holding Company, Iron Butterfly, Jefferson Airplane, the Band, the Doors, Fleetwood Mac, the Animals, Joe Cocker, the Byrds, and Creedence Clearwater Revival.\u00a0 My first thought was of Doctor of Darts, Patrick Chaplin.\u00a0 Chaplin collects CDs of old 1960\u2019s psychedelic rock bands.\u00a0 He would love this place.<\/p>\n

Woodstock is not crowded and comparatively quiet compared to the bizarre world that gyrates just outside its doors.\u00a0 It\u2019s appointed in red brick and creamy wood the color of a Thai girl\u2019s skin.\u00a0 Much like an old 1960s tearoom, the large, multi-level Woodstock is somberly lit, illuminated only (except over the pool tables and dartboard) by numerous small triangular green lights strung from above.\u00a0 Black-light posters cover the walls.<\/p>\n

I ordered a Singha for a little less than two dollars from a large selection of local and imported beers.\u00a0 After surveying a varied menu offering everything from spaghetti to New England clam chowder, I opted for a local dish, kao phat mun goong<\/em> (fried rice with spicy shrimp) and headed to the board by the bar.\u00a0 I shook my darts from their case and stepped to the line.\u00a0 Pool balls cracked on the other side of the room.\u00a0 From speakers somewhere in the ceiling Bob Dylan was blowing in the wind.<\/p>\n

Woodstock only has one dartboard, but it\u2019s hung right and well lit.\u00a0 The backboard is a swirl of thick rope.\u00a0 There\u2019s a large chalkboard, set up primarily for Mickey Mouse, and a rubber mat.\u00a0 The area\u2019s cozy.\u00a0 It\u2019s perfect.<\/p>\n

I warmed up for about an hour before one of the bartenders, a girl named Plon, asked if I wanted a game.\u00a0 \u201cSure,\u201d I replied, \u201cMickey Mouse?\u201d \u00a0I was surprised when she said she\u2019d rather throw 501.\u00a0 She excused herself briefly and returned with a set of darts and, under her arm, another chalkboard and a grease pen.\u00a0 Now, I was more than just surprised.<\/p>\n

I find people like Plon everywhere I go.\u00a0 They don\u2019t know what they are doing but they have talent.\u00a0 They just don\u2019t know what to do with it.\u00a0 They throw alone.\u00a0 They play the customers.\u00a0 They learn a little.\u00a0 But that\u2019s about as far as it ever goes.\u00a0 A few years back I met a guy, just like Plon, a bartender in another bar in Bangkok.\u00a0 He was good.\u00a0 We threw all night and then, the next night, met at another bar called Square 22 (Sukhumvit, Soi 22) and threw with some of the guys from the Thailand National Team.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if he ever went back.\u00a0 I hope he did.<\/p>\n

Plon managed a handful of tons and a 138 but, fortunately for me, went down (no pun intended) to defeat 5-0.\u00a0 I say fortunately because, had I lost, the night would have ended early.\u00a0 Humbled, I\u2019d have been forced to shake hands, pay my bill, and head out the door to face the ladyboys.\u00a0 I threw alone until the music died (Don McLean \u2013 \u201cAmerican Pie\u201d), the green lights dimmed, and the bar, and Plaza, closed.<\/p>\n

After passing back through the still milling, still negotiating crowd, I found my spot at the Golden and ordered another Singha.<\/p>\n

For another hour, I watched people.<\/p>\n

Then I wandered to the busy restaurant for a cup of coffee and a snack.\u00a0 The General and Mr. Magoo were back.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t surprised, just disgusted, to see them with two new little girls.<\/p>\n

From the Field,<\/p>\n

Dartoid<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Monday, September 30,\u00a02024 Column 672 The General and Mr. Magoo Sitting at the table next to me at dinner was a tall, gray-haired man.\u00a0 About seventy years of age, his hair was cropped tight, military style.\u00a0 He was dressed casually in a blue, short sleeve shirt, pressed beige Dockers, and black loafers.\u00a0 Back home I\u2019d have thought him a respectable fellow.\u00a0 Maybe he was a retired General. Across the restaurant was another man, animated with silver glasses, shorter, rounder, bald with a white goatee, but also well into his late sixties.\u00a0 In his loose-fitting jogging clothes, he reminded me of Mr. Magoo.\u00a0 Back home I think I would have liked his company. But I\u2019m not back home. Cuddled next to each was a small, young girl, neither near twenty-years-old, each possibly not yet a teenager.\u00a0 Both wore their raven-black hair tied in a ponytail, the way my daughter used to do.\u00a0 Both wore short skirts and bright tight-fitting tops to help market their undeveloped bodies.\u00a0 Neither smiled. I am in Bangkok – sitting in the restaurant of the Nana Hotel.\u00a0 Everywhere I look the scene is similar. It\u2019s no longer dinnertime.\u00a0 It\u2019s 3:00 a.m. and the place is bustling.\u00a0 Nana Entertainment Plaza, the \u201cnew\u201d Patpong, located directly across the street (Sukhumvit, Soi 4) has just closed for the night.\u00a0 Deals are still being negotiated.\u00a0 \u201cYou like?\u00a0 I show you good time.\u201d \u00a0It\u2019s about $25 for a \u201cshort time.\u201d \u00a0About $60 for a \u201clong time.\u201d \u00a0Tiny girls and old men pair off.\u00a0 They head to the elevators. Other men, younger, perhaps aware, perhaps not, are with gorgeous women, dressed beautifully, like showgirls from a Las Vegas nightclub.\u00a0 But the women are not women.\u00a0 Their deep voices, large hands and Adam\u2019s apples give them away.\u00a0 The women are called \u201cladyboys\u201d or katooys in Thai.\u00a0 They are \u201cshe-males.\u201d Earlier, I threw darts at a highly recommended bar in the Plaza called the Woodstock Rock-n-Roll Bar and Restaurant.\u00a0 It\u2019s an outstanding venue.\u00a0 But what I saw coming and going was like nothing I\u2019ve ever witnessed. Just before dinner and prior to entering the Plaza, I nursed a Singha at an open-air bar called the Golden, on the street just across the way from the Plaza entrance.\u00a0 The night was early.\u00a0 It was still light.\u00a0 Small children offered to sell me gum and roses.\u00a0 A wrinkly-skinned man tried to interest me in a \u201cRolex.\u201d\u00a0 Women strolled by with babies in carriages.\u00a0 Taxies, tuk-tuks, and occasionally a car streamed by, filling the already stagnant, humid air with the choke of spent gasoline.\u00a0 On the other side of the street a vendor sold insects dipped in hot sauce.\u00a0 Along the sidewalk a man walked with a tall pole from which fluttered numerous small birds, apparently tied to strings. I headed to Woodstock just as darkness fell.\u00a0 As I walked under the red and blue neon Plaza archway sign, I could begin to hear the music.\u00a0 As I weaved further into the throng of people, the sound of the music grew stronger and the flashing rainbow colors of the bar signage pulsated with the beat – Cat House, Lolly Pop, Pretty Lady, Spanky\u2019s, Fantasia, and the G-spot. \u00a0\u00a0Hundreds, thousands it seemed, of beautiful girls and girls who weren\u2019t girls closed in. Not nearly as many boys, men, and old men surveyed the amazing scene.\u00a0 In a dozen different languages, the negotiating began. The Woodstock Rock-n-Roll Bar and Restaurant is located at the very back of the Plaza, on the second level.\u00a0 It\u2019s prominently marked with a large yellow sign and a red arrow.\u00a0 A ladyboy in a revealing white-lace top and bottom propositioned me as I climbed the stairs.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t understand\u2026 When the large double wooden door of the Woodstock closed behind me, I was transported back to a time and place I did understand.\u00a0 One entire wall of shelves was lined with CDs – Canned Heat, Big Brother and the Holding Company, Iron Butterfly, Jefferson Airplane, the Band, the Doors, Fleetwood Mac, the Animals, Joe Cocker, the Byrds, and Creedence Clearwater Revival.\u00a0 My first thought was of Doctor of Darts, Patrick Chaplin.\u00a0 Chaplin collects CDs of old 1960\u2019s psychedelic rock bands.\u00a0 He would love this place. Woodstock is not crowded and comparatively quiet compared to the bizarre world that gyrates just outside its doors.\u00a0 It\u2019s appointed in red brick and creamy wood the color of a Thai girl\u2019s skin.\u00a0 Much like an old 1960s tearoom, the large, multi-level Woodstock is somberly lit, illuminated only (except over the pool tables and dartboard) by numerous small triangular green lights strung from above.\u00a0 Black-light posters cover the walls. I ordered a Singha for a little less than two dollars from a large selection of local and imported beers.\u00a0 After surveying a varied menu offering everything from spaghetti to New England clam chowder, I opted for a local dish, kao phat mun goong (fried rice with spicy shrimp) and headed to the board by the bar.\u00a0 I shook my darts from their case and stepped to the line.\u00a0 Pool balls cracked on the other side of the room.\u00a0 From speakers somewhere in the ceiling Bob Dylan was blowing in the wind. Woodstock only has one dartboard, but it\u2019s hung right and well lit.\u00a0 The backboard is a swirl of thick rope.\u00a0 There\u2019s a large chalkboard, set up primarily for Mickey Mouse, and a rubber mat.\u00a0 The area\u2019s cozy.\u00a0 It\u2019s perfect. I warmed up for about an hour before one of the bartenders, a girl named Plon, asked if I wanted a game.\u00a0 \u201cSure,\u201d I replied, \u201cMickey Mouse?\u201d \u00a0I was surprised when she said she\u2019d rather throw 501.\u00a0 She excused herself briefly and returned with a set of darts and, under her arm, another chalkboard and a grease pen.\u00a0 Now, I was more than just surprised. I find people like Plon everywhere I go.\u00a0 They don\u2019t know what they are doing but they have talent.\u00a0 They just don\u2019t know what to do with it.\u00a0 They throw alone.\u00a0 They play<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6510,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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September 30,\u00a02024 Column 672 The General and Mr. Magoo Sitting at the table next to me at dinner was a tall, gray-haired man.\u00a0 About seventy years of age, his hair was cropped tight, military style.\u00a0 He was dressed casually in a blue, short sleeve shirt, pressed beige Dockers, and black loafers.\u00a0 Back home I\u2019d…","authors":[{"term_id":15,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"dartoid","display_name":"Dartoid","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png"},"first_name":"Paul","last_name":"Seigel","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"\"Dartoid\" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9251"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9251"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9252,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9251\/revisions\/9252"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6510"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9251"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=9251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}