{"id":7887,"date":"2023-09-18T16:10:32","date_gmt":"2023-09-18T16:10:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2023\/09\/column-630-are-you-a-darts-addict\/"},"modified":"2023-09-18T16:10:32","modified_gmt":"2023-09-18T16:10:32","slug":"column-630-are-you-a-darts-addict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2023\/09\/column-630-are-you-a-darts-addict\/","title":{"rendered":"Column #630 Are you a darts addict?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Monday, September 18, 2023
\nColumn 630
\nAre you a darts addict?<\/strong><\/p>\n

You might be a redneck if you think a family reunion is a good place to pick up girls.\u00a0 You might be Jewish if your greatest athletic achievement was in debate.\u00a0 If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but can\u2019t afford shoes, you just might be a terrorist.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve never realized that the Alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same melody, you\u2019re probably a blond.<\/p>\n

Of course, the above were lifted from \u201cYou might be\u2026\u201d lists on the Internet.\u00a0 It\u2019s all in jest.\u00a0 I would never intentionally offend rednecks with guns, any Jewish person who might someday be my cardiologist, or a fundamentalist Muslim with a bomb in their skivvies.\u00a0 Blonds, well\u2026 they don\u2019t know when they\u2019re being offended.<\/p>\n

But how do you know if you may be addicted to the wonderful sport of darts<\/span>?<\/p>\n

Thanks to the infamous Phil Fried and a Facebook discussion group called Darts Addicts Anonymous there is a way.\u00a0 Below, from among many, are signs that you may have a problem.<\/p>\n

You might be addicted to darts if<\/span>\u2026<\/p>\n

You have a darts-related tattoo.<\/p>\n

At work you sometimes hold your pen or pencil like a dart and pantomime a throw.<\/p>\n

When playing with your almost 5-year-old grandson you end up with this\u2026\u00a0\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You cancel a date with a tall, gorgeous, strawberry blonde to substitute for league, and she kicks you to the curb.<\/p>\n

On Halloween you dress up with a Styrofoam dartboard around your head and a scoreboard around your body.<\/p>\n

You are considering a move to another city because they have more darts bars.<\/p>\n

When fishing all you can talk about is the next darts shoot.<\/p>\n

You can pronounce and spell Kuczynski, Silberzahn and Panuncialman.<\/p>\n

You have quit a job because it interfered with one of your league nights.<\/p>\n

With your back to the board, you can tell if a bullseye is scored just by hearing the distinctive \u201cthunk\u201d a dart makes when it hits the center of the board.<\/p>\n

When someone shoots the wrong out, everyone says they pulled a (insert name) \u2013 and that\u2019s your name.<\/p>\n

When you go to dinner with family or friends the easiest way of splitting the bill up is to calculate how many of what triple equals the total.<\/p>\n

When you are contemplating some serious problem in life, wondering just what to do, the answer that pops into your head is \u201cPOINT!\u201d<\/p>\n

When the time is 3:03 you think 19s.<\/p>\n

You practice your throw by tossing paper wads into the wastebasket at work.<\/p>\n

You name your dog Oche.<\/p>\n

The first thing you do in the morning is throw three darts and let the result predict what kind of day you are going to have.<\/p>\n

Your first regret after punching something is that you used your dart hand.<\/p>\n

You have a broken wrist and sprained thumb but still play league or a tournament.<\/p>\n

You see this on the Internet and think, \u201cYep, that\u2019s me!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You decline to move in with your girlfriend because there\u2019s no place to hang a dartboard.<\/p>\n

You base your clothes shopping on whether the sleeves are too tight and might impair your throw.<\/p>\n

You crush your thumb and break bones in your hand on the weekend but still play league on Monday.<\/p>\n

You can watch an old Phil Taylor match and accurately determine when the match occurred based on his weight.<\/p>\n

Most of your wardrobe is darts shirts.<\/p>\n

You get excited when you find a good quality YouTube video of a match you missed but become disappointed when the commentary is in Dutch \u2013 but then watch it anyway.<\/p>\n

Each time you look at your phone and see the time or battery power remaining you figure the out shot in your head.<\/p>\n

You take your own darts to a carnival for the balloon pop game.<\/p>\n

You have searched for a set of darts on the Internet, stumbled across articles about poison dart frogs and the Dodge Dart, and are now a semi-expert on both.<\/p>\n

The first thing you do after cutting your hand is pick up a dart to see if hurts to throw.<\/p>\n

Your dog loves the sport as much as you.<\/p>\n