{"id":7886,"date":"2023-09-11T13:58:39","date_gmt":"2023-09-11T13:58:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2023\/09\/column-629-the-old-dart-coach-perfect-darts-and-a-poodle-named-pierre\/"},"modified":"2023-09-11T13:58:39","modified_gmt":"2023-09-11T13:58:39","slug":"column-629-the-old-dart-coach-perfect-darts-and-a-poodle-named-pierre","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2023\/09\/column-629-the-old-dart-coach-perfect-darts-and-a-poodle-named-pierre\/","title":{"rendered":"Column #629 The Old Dart Coach, perfect darts and a poodle named Pierre"},"content":{"rendered":"

Monday, September 11, 2023
\nColumn 629
\nThe Old Dart Coach, perfect darts and a poodle named Pierre<\/strong><\/p>\n

Remarkably, amidst the usual gibberish posted at the Darts Discussion Group no one yet has related the story of the man who threw perfect darts.<\/p>\n

Nigel Brown hailed from Hawkshead in the UK\u2019s beautiful Lake District.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t a tournament competitor but was well known countrywide in the 1940s (around the same time as Jim Pike).\u00a0 Brown made frequent appearances at exhibitions and was renowned for his uncanny, almost savant-like, ability to hit the bullseye (this was long before machine darts manufacturers invented a bull as big as a bus).<\/p>\n

Never<\/em>\u00a0did he miss.<\/p>\n

One day he was recognized in Tenerife in the Canary Islands.\u00a0 A man named Mateo Garcia asked him to do an exhibition.\u00a0 Brown respectfully declined.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m on holiday with friends,\u201d he explained.\u00a0 But Garcia persisted, offered a tidy sum and Brown acquiesced.\u00a0 They agreed to meet that evening at a pub called Pub-Tenerife (today quite famous in part due to Brown\u2019s once having visited).<\/p>\n

As the story goes, the evening was\u00a0extraordinario<\/em>.\u00a0 For an hour or more Brown pounded the bullseye at will, mostly red.\u00a0 20 bulls.\u00a0 50.\u00a0 200!\u00a0 Never a miss.\u00a0 Perfecci\u00f3n!<\/em><\/p>\n

Until\u2026<\/p>\n

One of Brown\u2019s darts with their red, white and blue Union Jack flights deflected and landed just a smidgen outside the green bit, landing slightly left in the 12 (hugging the wire).\u00a0 For a moment, the large crowd was uncertain if it was a miss, but it was.\u00a0 A hush, then murmurs and then chaos ensued as Brown yanked the errant dart from the board and erupted in anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cFuck!\u00a0 Fuck!\u00a0 Fuck!\u201d Brown screamed as he slammed through the crowd and exited the pub.<\/p>\n

\u201cFuck this!\u00a0 Fuck Spain!\u00a0 Fuck darts!\u201d he exclaimed over and over from the pavement outside.<\/p>\n

Then, as dozens of stunned patrons watched, with all his might he threw the dart that missed into the sky and stormed off.<\/p>\n

While it may be said that \u201cwhat goes up must come down\u201d this red, white and blue flighted dart never did.\u00a0 Maybe it stuck in a tree.\u00a0 Weird, but apparently true.\u00a0 From that day forward Nigel Brown was never seen in public again.\u00a0 Only his reputation lives on.\u00a0 Check dart historian Patrick Chaplin\u2019s website.<\/p>\n

One of the people who observed this event (and who related it to me) was the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed.\u00a0 \u201cThe Brits can be a bit nuts sometimes,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cSo can the French.\u201d<\/p>\n

He then told me about his flight back to the States.\u00a0 Remember, this was in the late 1940s and smoking was still allowed on planes.\u00a0 Dogs too if they were small.\u00a0 And behaved.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was in a two-seat row by the window.\u00a0 Seated next to me was this French lady holding a little dog named Pierre.\u00a0 We were cruising the clouds somewhere over the Atlantic and I lit up.\u201d<\/p>\n

The dog began to cough.<\/p>\n

\u201cS\u2019il vous plait, Monsieur.<\/em>\u00a0 Could you put out your cigar?\u00a0 It\u2019s choking\u00a0ma petite Pierre<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

The lady was quite attractive so those of you who know Howie will not be surprised at his response.\u00a0 \u201cAre you married?\u00a0 Have you heard of the Mile-High Club?\u201d<\/p>\n

The pretty lady responded, \u201cHow should I say?\u00a0 If you don\u2019t extinguish your cigar, I must throw it out zee window.\u201d<\/p>\n

And of course, Howie shot back, \u201cMademoiselle, be forewarned, should you touch my cigar \u2013 and I\u2019m not talking\u00a0that<\/em>\u00a0cigar, although I do encourage you \u2013 I will grab your mutt by the throat and toss him into the clouds.\u201d\u00a0 For emphasis, \u201cI blew a puff straight into the dog\u2019s face.\u201d<\/p>\n

What ensued is\u00a0exactly<\/em>\u00a0what you might imagine!<\/p>\n

The lady (it turned out her name was Monique Dubois) grabbed Howie\u2019s stogie (\u201ca fucking\u00a0Montecristo<\/em>!\u201d) and threw it out the window.\u00a0 In a flash, Howie kept his promise and sent Pierre right behind it.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was crazy,\u201d Howie said.\u00a0 \u201cAir was rushing in, or maybe it was out, the window.\u00a0 Papers were flying about.\u00a0 Momentarily, the plane became unsteady.\u00a0 Drinks spilled.\u00a0 Stewardesses appeared from nowhere.\u00a0 Passengers were yelling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMonique was screaming.\u00a0 She cried.\u00a0 She was inconsolable, weeping non-stop for the remainder of the flight.\u201d\u00a0 As Howie remembers it, \u201cWell, I did get to hug her a lot and but that\u2019s all I got.\u201d<\/p>\n

As they deplaned at McCarran airport in Las Vegas, Howie\u2019s hometown, Howie graciously helped steady Monique as they walked together down the steps of the plane, continuing to apologize and console her.<\/p>\n

And\u00a0that\u2019s<\/em>\u00a0when it caught their eye!<\/p>\n

Suddenly, Monique began to leap for joy, smothering Howie with kisses.\u00a0 \u201cJe te pardonne!\u00a0\u00a0Je te pardonne!<\/em>\u00a0 I forgive you!\u00a0 I forgive you!\u201d<\/p>\n

On the tail of the plane, hanging on for dear life, was Pierre!<\/p>\n

And can you\u00a0believe<\/em>\u00a0it?\u00a0 In his mouth he was holding Nigel Brown\u2019s dart!<\/p>\n

From the Field,<\/p>\n

Dartoid<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Remarkably, amidst the usual gibberish posted at the Darts Discussion Group no one yet has related the story of the man who threw perfect 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amidst the usual gibberish posted at the Darts Discussion Group no one yet has related the story of the man who threw perfect darts...","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"authors":[{"term_id":15,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"dartoid","display_name":"Dartoid","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png"},"first_name":"Paul","last_name":"Seigel","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"\"Dartoid\" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7886"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7886\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7886"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=7886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}