{"id":7849,"date":"2021-09-14T12:24:52","date_gmt":"2021-09-14T12:24:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2021\/09\/column-605-fortunate-humbled-sad-and-proud-theres-more-to-life-than-darts\/"},"modified":"2021-09-14T12:24:52","modified_gmt":"2021-09-14T12:24:52","slug":"column-605-fortunate-humbled-sad-and-proud-theres-more-to-life-than-darts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2021\/09\/column-605-fortunate-humbled-sad-and-proud-theres-more-to-life-than-darts\/","title":{"rendered":"Column #605 Fortunate, humbled, sad and proud – there’s more to life than darts!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tuesday, September 14, 2021
\nColumn 605
\nFortunate, humbled, sad and proud – there’s more to life than darts!<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I flipped on my laptop and polled for messages, buried among the list was a curious return address: jloweprodart@aol.com.\u00a0 Could it be?\u00a0 I immediately clicked away.<\/p>\n

The e-mail was from John Lowe.\u00a0 One of the greatest darters to ever step to the line, winner of more than a thousand tournaments, had sent ME a message.<\/p>\n

I scrolled down.\u00a0 I was amazed.<\/p>\n

It turns out that \u201cOld Stoneface\u201d counts himself among the half-dozen, mostly sexist men who smoke banana leaves, who read the drivel I knock out each month in my column, \u201cDartoid\u2019s World.\u201d Clearly, Lowe\u2019s moniker should be changed to Old Stonedface.<\/p>\n

His message was brief.\u00a0 He wanted to know if I could get him a hooker.<\/p>\n

No. No. THAT message was from the Old Dart Coach.<\/p>\n

The gist of Lowe\u2019s message was that he was working on a couple of new projects, his fourth book and a special website.\u00a0 Doctor of Darts, Patrick Chaplin, was doing a piece.\u00a0 Lowe wanted to know if I would contribute a chapter.<\/p>\n

So, I popped off a return e-mail.\u00a0 \u201cMe?\u00a0 You want something from me?\u00a0 Who is this really?<\/p>\n

A few days later another message appeared.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not looking for a piece from somebody who\u2019s \u2018been there, done that.\u2019 \u00a0I\u2019m looking for something from someone who\u2019s \u2018been there, seen that.\u2019\u00a0 You\u2019re probably the most traveled darts person outside of the professional ranks.\u00a0 Barry Twomlow had that distinction until his retirement.\u00a0 I would ask you to write as little or as much as you possibly can.\u201d<\/p>\n

He wrote that he was looking for some \u201cfunny stories\u201d and he had some of his own.\u00a0 For example, one time Lowe threw at the \u201ctop of the CN Tower in Toronto whilst some cowboy was yodeling.\u201d \u00a0Another time he \u201cplayed on a cruise liner whilst sailing through the Bay of Biscay in a nine-force storm.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, I wrote him back again.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s a \u2018whilst?’\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

Actually, I explained that, while honored to be asked to contribute to his projects, I felt out of my league.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve also been in the CN Tower,\u201d I wrote, \u201cbut I got thrown out for playing strip-pool in the lobby.\u00a0 While it\u2019s true that I traveled a lot, except for being pretty certain I hold the record for the most consecutive 26\u2019s ever thrown and once being defeated by my dog, I really don\u2019t have any claims to fame.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do what I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, I dug into my files.<\/p>\n

Over the years I\u2019ve enjoyed some amazing experiences.\u00a0 I\u2019ve bicycled 2,000 miles from Dublin to Moscow.\u00a0 I\u2019ve polled a dug-out canoe down Botswana\u2019s hippo-infested Bora River.\u00a0 I\u2019ve white-water rafted Zimbabwe\u2019s Zambezi River.\u00a0 I\u2019ve tracked mountain gorillas deep into Uganda\u2019s Impenetrable Forest.\u00a0 I\u2019ve ventured 500 miles up the Congo River in search of elephant poachers.\u00a0 Basically, I\u2019m just a big, damn dummy.<\/p>\n

Along the way I have been earnest in my search for the Holy Grail – the perfect game in the perfect darts-dive.\u00a0 And, of course, the perfect beer.<\/p>\n

On six of the seven continents and in more than sixty countries I have had the pleasure of going toe-to-toe and mug-to-mug with some of the best darters and hearty drinkers on the planet.\u00a0 A pool shark from Seoul.\u00a0 A tough shooting \u201cworking girl\u201d from Ho Chi Minh City.\u00a0 An eleven-year-old hustler from Puerto Vallarta.\u00a0 From Beijing to Moscow to Sri Lanka, from Tokyo to Johannesburg, from Bangkok to Bombay, I\u2019ve stood at the line – often in the most unbelievable of circumstances.<\/p>\n

There are two experiences however, that remain particularly special in my memory.<\/p>\n

Some years ago, I found myself in Bombay scouring the streets and back alleys for a game of darts.\u00a0 Thanks to a twelve-year-old boy named Johnny I finally found a game, sort of, but en route my search crossed the line between a simple adventure and a sort of awakening.\u00a0 The day made a difference in my life.<\/p>\n

As I was looking for a taxi, a dirty little boy approached me with his sisters, begging for money for milk.\u00a0 Quickly we struck deal.\u00a0 In return for five cartons of powdered milk, Johnny agreed to serve as my guide for the day.\u00a0 After a quick walk to a grocery, we hopped into a cab together.<\/p>\n

I showed Johnny my darts as we sat in the back of the cab and explained what I was looking for.\u00a0 He held them in his hand.\u00a0 I showed him how to aim them and pretended to throw at an imaginary board.\u00a0 I then carefully tucked them back into their case.<\/p>\n

We talked as we cruised the city.\u00a0 I learned that Johnny had no home – he lived with his family in cardboard boxes in a vacant lot.\u00a0 I learned that his mother was dead, and his father drank and had no job.\u00a0 I learned that Johnny hadn\u2019t attended school for years because he had to earn money for food.\u00a0 He\u2019d learned his English from tourists like me.<\/p>\n

We went to the zoo and circus.\u00a0 We made our way to the top of a cliff to gaze at the Bombay skyline.\u00a0 We toured the glitzy high-rise buildings at Nariman Point and ate samosas at the five-star Taj Hotel across from the famous Gateway to India monument.\u00a0 We watched snake charmers coax cobras out of wicker baskets on the waterfront.\u00a0 For hours, perhaps for the longest stretch in years, not once did the thought of throwing a dart cross my mind.\u00a0 The same could not be said for Johnny.<\/p>\n

As night began to fall the little boy took charge.\u00a0 The taxi driver began to hit the bars, one after another.\u00a0 We\u2019d stop.\u00a0 I\u2019d run in.\u00a0 I\u2019d locate a snooker table and have a beer.\u00a0 I\u2019d dash out.\u00a0 But Johnny was undaunted.\u00a0 He insisted he knew where I could get a game in Bombay.<\/p>\n

I found myself at the end of a dark alley.\u00a0 As we headed into the dark, I could hear Hindi voices and the familiar rhythmic thunking of a game in progress.\u00a0 As we drew closer and moved into the dim light, I could not possibly have been more astounded at the sight before me.\u00a0 There, lying in the dust was a huge, ringed, tree stump.\u00a0 Dangling from it was a knife.\u00a0 And standing but ten feet away from me were four blokes holding more knives!<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t throw during this trip to India.\u00a0 What I did was make a friend.\u00a0 And as I\u2019ve written, I learned a lesson.\u00a0 A homeless kid with a limited future reminded me that, sometimes anyway, there\u2019s a little bit more to life than darts.<\/p>\n

On another occasion getting to where I threw required a harrowing three-hour flight in a beat-up old Cessna – without maps or radar – through stormy African skies.\u00a0 To stay safely below the turbulence, we cruised just above the canopy of the rainforest and weaved in and out of the mist that rises so eerily from the trees.<\/p>\n

To suggest that I knew where I was when I stood at the line this night would be a serious stretch.\u00a0 I was in the Congo somewhere.\u00a0 Joseph Conrad\u2019s \u201cHeart of Darkness.\u201d Primitive people.\u00a0 Mysterious sounds.<\/p>\n

I was somewhere east of Gabon and south of the Central African Republic.\u00a0 The closest collection of people was some twenty miles away in a Bantu-occupied mud-hut village called Mbomo.\u00a0 The barefooted tribesmen here are darters from way back.\u00a0 They blow the poisoned-tip version from little bamboo tubes.<\/p>\n

The largest so-called major cities, Kinshasa, Zaire (site of the famous Ali-Foreman \u201cRumble in the Jungle\u201d in 1974) and Brazzaville (Congo\u2019s capital), are, at best, a week to the south by way of the Le\u2019Koli and Congo Rivers.\u00a0 Just to the north is the pristine \u201cLast Eden,\u201d the Nouvabale Ndoke Forest.<\/p>\n

What I can guarantee about wherever I was is that the darts set up was excellent.\u00a0 This is because I hung the board myself.\u00a0 I bought it.\u00a0 I carried it from Johannesburg in a bag.\u00a0 I nailed it up with a rock I found in the bush, to a tree by a bend in a river.\u00a0 This board has to be hung as far away from the civilized world as anyone can get.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure what numbers most in the African night – the stars twinkling in the incredibly vast sky or the fireflies flitting like so many scraps of glitter against the darkness of the ancient forest.\u00a0 Movement is constant.\u00a0 Sound is incessant.\u00a0 The lights of the night seem to dance to the symphony of a billion unseen creatures.\u00a0 The \u201cthunk, thunk, thunk\u201d of my darts only added another instrument to this uniquely African chorus.<\/p>\n

I threw alone this night.\u00a0 My concentration has never been better.<\/p>\n

My return to the real world was wilder than my journey from it.\u00a0 The second plane was even more decrepit than the first.\u00a0 As we landed on dirt airstrips at village after village, people fought with each other and the pilot to get a seat.\u00a0 Seriously overweight, carrying a good half-dozen more than its capacity, the plane lumbered its way back to Brazzaville.\u00a0 Sandwiched between a woman dying of AIDS, a shackled elephant poacher and a baby gorilla in desperate need of a diaper, I held my darts close and hoped for the best.<\/p>\n

So, if you\u2019re ever trudging through the Congo rainforest and happen upon a lonely dart board dangling from a tree, enjoy your game.\u00a0 You can thank me for setting it up – if you ever get back.<\/p>\n

Oh, there are other stories.\u00a0 So many of them\u2026<\/p>\n

There was the night in the dark and mist in the middle of nowhere, and against the better judgment of everyone I knew, that I pulled up to the gate of Diepkloof Prison – home to some 20,000 killers and rapists and worse – in Soweto, South Africa.\u00a0 Before me loomed a sprawling cement fortress, surrounded by consecutive two-story high walls of barbed wire.\u00a0 Soft light from inside illuminated the bars on the cellblock windows.\u00a0 I could see the movement of the forgotten souls inside.\u00a0 This night I threw against the prison guards\u2026 and felt bad about having a good time.<\/p>\n

Once in Hanoi, in the former North Vietnam, in a bar called the Spotted Cow, I played against a fellow named Quyuh.\u00a0 Thirty years prior we could have just as easily been chasing each other with rifles through the slosh of a rice paddy.\u00a0 This night when I finally got the better of the guy, he simply shook my hand, smiled and said, \u201cgood game\u201d and then – in what I guess is some sort of local display of resignation – smashed an empty beer can into his forehead.\u00a0 It felt good to have a friend, instead of an enemy.<\/p>\n

Once in Venezuela I found myself in the fog among the legendary billion-year-old table-rock formations (called tepuys) that shoot into the clouds from the jungle.\u00a0 From this very spot Sir Arthur Conan Doyle drew inspiration for his book \u201cThe Lost World.\u201d \u00a0From the highest of the tepuys, Auyan-Tepui, the cool water of Angel Falls tumbles eight times farther than the water over Niagara.\u00a0 Here in the undergrowth thirty-foot anacondas slither and remarkable carnivorous plants chomp the unsuspecting bug.\u00a0 Razor-toothed piranha lurk in the water.\u00a0 If one is lucky, they might see the recently discovered fruit-eating fish – which leaps in the air to grab nourishment from the trees.\u00a0 It is near here in the small indigenous village of San Raphael where I was coached in the art of \u201ccerbatana\u201d (blow darts) by a Pemone Indian named Carlos.\u00a0 We focused foot-long bamboo projectiles at a mark on a tree.\u00a0 I lost 2,000 bolivars (about four dollars) and headed on.\u00a0 I felt humbled.<\/p>\n

In Kathmandu, Nepal, I once threw at a bar called the Carpe Diem.\u00a0 I stood at the line at the foot of Mt. Everest, where the clouds touch the sky, and the sky touches the heavens.\u00a0 I felt awe.<\/p>\n

In Bangkok, Thailand\u2019s notorious Patpong District – at a bar called Cosmos in the middle of the wildest stretch of nightclubs, strip joints, whore houses, con artists and who-knows-what-else that exists anywhere on earth – a 78 game shot against the owner of the bar once earned me the opportunity to select my reward from among a short-skirted bevy of bargirls.\u00a0 I traded my winnings for a bottle of beer.\u00a0 I felt silly.<\/p>\n

Then there was the night I threw in a bar called City Slickers in New York City.\u00a0 Late at night, as I wound my through the traffic out of the city, two huge, parallel beams of light appeared outside my window.\u00a0 They reached from the ground and shot gallantly into the sky.\u00a0 They reached from Ground Zero into the heavens.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never felt so sad.\u00a0 Or so proud.<\/p>\n

Time and again I am reminded of how special the sport of darts really is.\u00a0 The ability of shooters from extraordinarily different cultures, who don\u2019t share a lick of language between them, to compete and share in the humor and tension of a game and even debate the finer points of play, is almost uncanny.\u00a0 I suppose this is possible because of the \u201clanguage of darts,\u201d that special connection\u2026 that unique ability to communicate, that simply exists between people who share a love for the sport and a basic understanding of the rules.<\/p>\n

For a couple of darters, who under normal circumstances couldn\u2019t give each other directions to the loo, to come together and enjoy a few games of darts over a beer and under the smoke in the back room of a neighborhood pub, seems to be the most natural thing in the world.<\/p>\n

My darting experiences may be unique.\u00a0 I suppose I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to travel and step to the line in such unusual circumstances.<\/p>\n

But at the end of the day my experiences are not so different than those of any other darter, recreational or professional.<\/p>\n

Not one of my experiences is any more special than the next.<\/p>\n

But together, they are a collection of incredible memories.<\/p>\n

In \u201cDartoid\u2019s World\u201d throwing darts in a little bar in Beijing is no different than blowing darts in the middle of the rainforest.<\/p>\n

Playing a stranger in Reykjavik, Iceland, is no different than to playing a stranger in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.<\/p>\n

Throwing against a friend in league is no different than throwing against John Lowe in a tournament.\u00a0 Well, except for the result!<\/p>\n

In \u201cDartoid\u2019s World\u201d throwing darts is nothing more than a labor of love.<\/p>\n

It is my honor to be able to share my \u201cworld\u201d with you.<\/p>\n

From the Field,<\/p>\n

Dartoid<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It had to be a joke. When I flipped on my laptop and polled for messages, buried among the list was a curious return address: jloweprodart@aol.com.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6517,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[15],"class_list":["post-7849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dartoid"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":1365,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?fit=412%2C520&ssl=1","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?fit=412%2C520&ssl=1",412,520,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?fit=238%2C300&ssl=1",238,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?fit=412%2C520&ssl=1",412,520,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?fit=412%2C520&ssl=1",412,520,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?fit=412%2C520&ssl=1",412,520,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?fit=412%2C520&ssl=1",412,520,true],"rpwe-thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-32-1.jpg?resize=45%2C45&ssl=1",45,45,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Dartoid","author_link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/author\/dartoid\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"It had to be a joke. When I flipped on my laptop and polled for messages, buried among the list was a curious return address: jloweprodart@aol.com.\u00a0","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"authors":[{"term_id":15,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"dartoid","display_name":"Dartoid","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png"},"first_name":"Paul","last_name":"Seigel","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"\"Dartoid\" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7849"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7849\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6517"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7849"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=7849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}