{"id":7478,"date":"2014-05-06T16:19:22","date_gmt":"2014-05-06T16:19:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2014\/05\/column-462-stefan-lord-tried-to-kill-me\/"},"modified":"2014-05-06T16:19:22","modified_gmt":"2014-05-06T16:19:22","slug":"column-462-stefan-lord-tried-to-kill-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2014\/05\/column-462-stefan-lord-tried-to-kill-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Column #462 Stefan Lord tried to KILL ME!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tuesday, May 6, 2014
\nColumn 462
\nStefan Lord tried to KILL ME!<\/b><\/b><\/p>\n

For more than half a century, from 1927 until 1990 (with a break during the war years and a brief reappearance in 1997) the News of the World Darts Championship was the granddaddy – the “tournament every darts player wanted to win.”<\/p>\n

He won it in 1978.\u00a0 He won it again<\/em> in 1980.<\/p>\n

And then, for reasons unknown, on April 4, 2014 in Pattaya, Thailand, he tried to kill me.<\/p>\n

His name is Stefan Lord.\u00a0 He’s from Sweden – a country famous for meatballs.<\/p>\n

We started around dinner time at what is billed\u00a0“the most HUGE bar” in Pattaya – Tim’s Beer Bar (www.timbarpattaya.com<\/a>) on 2nd Road, just a few blocks east of Pattaya Beach on the Gulf of Thailand.<\/p>\n

Lord, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed, and I kicked off the evening with several beers at a table on the street in front of Tim’s before heading into the night.\u00a0 (I started sensibly with bottled water but when you’re out with Lord and the Coach and constantly called a pussy water doesn’t cut it for long – so I switched to Singha.)<\/p>\n

Scantily clad dancers streamed past but of course we paid no attention.\u00a0 We’re darts players.\u00a0 Women are distractions, particularly young ones in itty-bitty shorts and skimpy tops who wink and say, “You hansome man.”<\/p>\n

We had important business.<\/p>\n

Lord and the ODC wanted to take me to a place called Legends (http:\/\/legendspoolpattaya.com<\/a>) at 324\/10, Pattaya Klang 5 – Lord’s home bar.\u00a0 The ODC maintained it had the best darts setup in all of Thailand.\u00a0 I doubted this – but having now seen it and having previously thrown darts from Chiang Rai in the north to Bangkok in the south and in border towns along Myanmar, Laos and Cambodia – I can now attest that Legends is<\/em> indeed the finest in the Land of Smiles.<\/p>\n

I don’t remember how we got to Legends…<\/p>\n

We were greeted by owner or co-owner – or maybe he was just some bloke who thought we were good for a few free beers – Charles “Chas” Ayers.\u00a0 He’s from Essex so he’s used to girls telling him he’s a “hansome man” and thinking they spelled it right.\u00a0 For an Essex man Pattaya is just like being home.<\/p>\n

The darts set up – four pristine boards, perfectly lit – is in the rear of the joint past about 15 brand new 9-foot Brunswick pool tables.\u00a0 Ayers is some sort of a pool savant so I guess this is why so much space is wasted on felt.\u00a0 He’s the owner so he can do what he wants.\u00a0 Fortunately the darts area is separated from the green – nicely in fact – by shiny glass tables just behind the line.\u00a0 I don’t know if this is always the case but for the few hours I was on site the little tables were well supplied with drinks.<\/p>\n

We played a few games of 501, just best of one.\u00a0 I took on the Coach and nipped him\u00a0in about 30 minutes with a spectacular d2 to finish in 60 darts.\u00a0 Next I played Ayers.\u00a0 The Pool Boy missed d16 and I stepped up, looking at 170.\u00a0 I took a swig of my beer, a deep breath, aimed, and stuck my first dart – perfectly – into the five.\u00a0 The rest is history.\u00a0 Ayers then showed he could do more than play 9-ball and stomp the likes of me by taking out Lord.<\/p>\n

We went back to what we all know best – drinking and ignoring distractions.\u00a0 At some point the Coach disappeared or got lost or fell asleep.<\/p>\n

I don’t remember how we got to our next stop…<\/p>\n

I found myself in, of all places in Thailand, a small Swedish restaurant (Two Lions on Soi 9) with the two-time News of the World champion – surrounded by still more booze.\u00a0 We ordered\u00a0 dinner – meatballs of course – and had a long conversation about I can’t remember what.<\/p>\n

Besides walking in unbearable heat and humidity, there are four ways to get about in Thailand.\u00a0 Listed in declining order of cost and safety they are: a hotel car, taxi, baht bus (or tuk-tuk), and on the back of a motor bike.\u00a0 In two decades of travel to Southeast Asia I have never<\/em> gotten on the back of a motor bike.\u00a0 It just ain’t safe.\u00a0 So I got on the back of a motor bike.<\/p>\n

I don’t remember the ride to my hotel…<\/p>\n

I woke up to a beep on my phone and a text message from Lord, “I don’t remember how I got home but I am safe.”\u00a0 And another from the Coach, “Let’s meet for breakfast.”<\/p>\n

Into the bathroom I padded – to find meatballs in my sink.<\/p>\n

Then<\/em> I remembered.<\/p>\n

From the Field,<\/p>\n

Dartoid<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For more than half a century, from 1927 until 1990 (with a break during the war years and a brief reappearance in 1997) the News of the World Darts Championship was the granddaddy – the “tournament every darts player wanted to win.” He won it in 1978. He won it again in 1980. And then, for reasons unknown, on April 4, 2014 in Pattaya, Thailand, he tried to kill me. His name is…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6502,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[15],"class_list":["post-7478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dartoid"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":6485,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?fit=520%2C368&ssl=1","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?fit=520%2C368&ssl=1",520,368,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?fit=300%2C212&ssl=1",300,212,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?fit=520%2C368&ssl=1",520,368,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?fit=520%2C368&ssl=1",520,368,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?fit=520%2C368&ssl=1",520,368,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?fit=520%2C368&ssl=1",520,368,true],"rpwe-thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/darts-image-feature-random-17-1.jpg?resize=45%2C45&ssl=1",45,45,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Dartoid","author_link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/author\/dartoid\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"For more than half a century, from 1927 until 1990 (with a break during the war years and a brief reappearance in 1997) the News of the World Darts Championship was the granddaddy - the \"tournament every darts player wanted to win.\" He won it in 1978. He won it again in 1980. And then,…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"authors":[{"term_id":15,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"dartoid","display_name":"Dartoid","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png"},"first_name":"Paul","last_name":"Seigel","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"\"Dartoid\" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7478"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7478\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6502"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7478"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=7478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}