Tuesday, February 1, 2011
\nColumn 402
\nSpeaking of Darts, Penises and Women….<\/b><\/p>\n
Today\u2019s Dartoid\u2019s World issue is a joke but not of the sort readers have grown accustom to finding in this space. It\u2019s not about any of the screwy things that are found out and about the wacky world of our sport.<\/p>\n
In fact, it\u2019s not even about darts. I didn\u2019t write it.<\/p>\n
However, the joke was sent to me by a darts player \u2013 so there is a darts connection. Of course, I must protect the name of the person (and I do mean \u201cname\u201d because his first and last name are the same) who sent it because he\u2019s a friend, is married to a good woman, has a young child, a professional job and leads a civilized life in Nashville. He\u2019s also a damn good shot.<\/p>\n
I receive a lot of crap e-mails. Most of the time I delete the messages when they pop onto my computer screen. It\u2019s a powerful feeling. It used to feel really good to hit the delete button when messages came in from the founder of The Darts Website That Shall Not Be Named.<\/p>\n
But occasionally one catches my eye and makes me makes me laugh. Out loud.<\/p>\n
This one did.<\/p>\n
So, since I have absolutely nothing else to write this morning \u2013 and since the joke is slightly vulgar and sexist and therefore consistent with the usual fare at this website I am passing it along.<\/p>\n
After all, I am<\/i> Dartoid!<\/p>\n
So…<\/p>\n
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be ok, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”<\/p>\n
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”<\/p>\n
The man perks up.<\/p>\n
“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”<\/p>\n
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.<\/p>\n
The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”<\/p>\n
“Yes I have,” says the man.<\/p>\n
“And has she helped you make a decision?”<\/p>\n
“Yes,” says the man.<\/p>\n
“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.<\/p>\n
“We’re getting granite countertops.”<\/p>\n
NEXT UP,<\/b> from Dartoid\u2019s World: The COOOOOOOOP<\/b>!<\/p>\n
From the Field,<\/p>\n
Dartoid<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today\u2019s Dartoid\u2019s World issue is a joke but not of the sort readers have grown accustom to finding in this space. It\u2019s not about any of the screwy things that are found out and about the wacky world of our sport.<\/p>\n
In fact, it\u2019s not even about darts. 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It\u2019s not about any of the screwy things that are found out and about the wacky world of our sport. In fact, it\u2019s not even about darts. I didn\u2019t write it.","authors":[{"term_id":15,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"dartoid","display_name":"Dartoid","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png"},"first_name":"Paul","last_name":"Seigel","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","description":"\"Dartoid\" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7366"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7366"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7366\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7366"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=7366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}