December 1, 2003
\nColumn 152
\nStevie Wonder was Right!<\/b><\/p>\n
Last night I committed THE major darting transgression — and I\u2019m not talking about throwing without a beer in my left hand. I stopped that three months ago after reading Dick Allix\u2019s column about good health and darts.<\/p>\n
Yep, I\u2019m on the Atkin\u2019s diet. I haven\u2019t swigged a beer or crunched a crouton in over ninety days. I\u2019ve lost twenty pounds. I wonder how many carbohydrates there are in a Marlboro?<\/p>\n
Anyway, I\u2019ve been feeling guilty since the moment it happened. I was right but I was wrong. Pretty much the way any man feels when he\u2019s arguing with a woman.<\/p>\n
I was throwing doubles 501, best two out of three, with my new league partner, Ritchie Dantine. Our team was near the tail-end of a see-saw battle against the leading team in the league — a team that had handed us our asses a month or so earlier by a whopping score of 39-9. The result of Ritchie\u2019s and my match would determine whether our team would avenge its loss.<\/p>\n
Tied up a leg a piece, I stepped to the line with 74 remaining. Our opponents were looking at 32. Victory hung on my final three arrows or possibly my last two, if I stuck the t14 and then the d16. Nothin\u2019 to it\u2026<\/p>\n
But I missed. Instead, I pegged the single 14, just a hair south of the number 9 wire.<\/p>\n
Immediately I threw to the top of the board and marked a perfect dart just below the double top. And then\u2026 set. Stroke. Release. BAM! My final dart slid ever so neatly above my second and into the d20!!<\/p>\n
Leg. Set. MATCH! There really wasn\u2019t much to it. I was calm. Satisfied.<\/p>\n
As I began to walk to the board, behind me I heard Ritchie say something congratulatory. One of our opponents also acknowledged the finish. I felt good. Revenge.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when it happened…<\/p>\n
I pulled my first dart out of the 14. I applied a little pressure to my second dart, pushing it slightly south to expose my final throw — just to be certain there was no question about its final position. Not that there was.<\/p>\n
Then I pulled both of the remaining darts from the board.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when the, well\u2026 let\u2019s call it \u201cthe disagreement,\u201d occurred…<\/p>\n
It turns out that the other of our two opponents, Stevie Wonder, \u201csaw\u201d things a bit differently. He disputed our win, arguing that the 14 was actually a 9 — leaving Ritchie, after the 69 scored, 5 still to close.<\/p>\n
What does one say in such a circumstance? I knew that the dart was in the 14 — everybody knew it was in the 14.<\/p>\n
But the thing was: it wasn\u2019t, at least not any more. It was in my hand.<\/p>\n
Calmly, I argued my case. \u201cNo. No.\u201d I said. \u201cThe first dart was in the 14. Why else would I have moved to the top? If I\u2019d have hit the 9, I\u2019d have thrown my next dart at the bull…\u201d<\/p>\n
Not quite so calmly, he responded. \u201cYou pulled your dart, man. I saw it hit the 9. I even said to my partner here that you\u2019d handed us a break. You can\u2019t be pullin\u2019 your darts, man. You gotta learn the rules.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHold it a minute!\u201d I countered, while pointing at his buddy. \u201cHe saw it hit the 14! ASK him!\u201d And then I challenged him. \u201cWhat am I going to do, cheat?\u201d<\/p>\n
He came right back at me. \u201cI\u2019m not accusing you of anything,\u201d he said, accusingly. \u201cI just saw it differently, man. You need to learn not to pull your darts.\u201d<\/p>\n
So now I\u2019m thinking\u2026 being honest with myself: \u201cshit, it doesn\u2019t really matter what anybody saw or didn\u2019t see, the guy\u2019s got a point — I shouldn\u2019t have pulled my darts.\u201d<\/p>\n
BUT then, all in an instant, I think a little more: \u201cwho is this wanker lecturing me about the rules!\u201d So I ratcheted the thing up a notch. Not intentionally, mind you. But that was the effect of what I said next. \u201cFor Christ\u2019s sake, give me a break. This is a friendly shoot. It was a 14. Even your partner acknowledges that. I\u2019ve been playing this game for 25 years. Do me a favor and lecture someone else about the rules.\u201d<\/p>\n
And then I ventured completely over the line. I looked him square in the eyes and admitted my faux pas. \u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I shouldn\u2019t have pulled the dart. What I should have done is yank the frickin\u2019 thing out of the board and shove it up your ass!\u201d<\/p>\n
No. No. I didn\u2019t actually say that. Oh, I thought about it. Don\u2019t\u2019 we all sometimes\u2026<\/p>\n
I apologized. I told him I had honestly tried to be careful and had intentionally \u201cshown\u201d everybody that my final dart — the one I thought might be in doubt — by pushing my second dart just slightly out of the line of sight.<\/p>\n
And I told him that he was right. Because he was.<\/p>\n
I was wrong. I pulled my darts too soon. Still, among the four of us we agreed to let the leg and set stand as finished.<\/p>\n
Not long afterwards, my team mates and I tipped a last drink and headed out the door to find our cars.<\/p>\n
We had won 25 to 23 but I don\u2019t think any of us felt very good about it.<\/p>\n
From the Field,<\/p>\n
Dartoid<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Last night I committed THE major darting transgression — and I\u2019m not talking about throwing without a beer in my left hand. I stopped that three months ago after reading Dick Allix\u2019s column about good health and darts.<\/p>\n
Yep, I\u2019m on the Atkin\u2019s diet. I haven\u2019t swigged a beer or crunched a crouton in over ninety days. I\u2019ve lost twenty pounds. I wonder how many carbohydrates there are in a Marlboro?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Column #152 Stevie Wonder was Right!","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[15],"class_list":["post-6902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dartoid"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"views":2479,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"rpwe-thumbnail":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Dartoid","author_link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/author\/dartoid\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Last night I committed THE major darting transgression -- and I\u2019m not talking about throwing without a beer in my left hand. I stopped that three months ago after reading Dick Allix\u2019s column about good health and darts. Yep, I\u2019m on the Atkin\u2019s diet. I haven\u2019t swigged a beer or crunched a crouton in over…","authors":[{"term_id":15,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"dartoid","display_name":"Dartoid","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2024-02-13-12_01_31-Dartoids-World-_-The-most-widely-read-column-about-darts-in-the-world.png"},"first_name":"Paul","last_name":"Seigel","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"\"Dartoid\" is the pseudonym of Paul Seigel, a prominent chronicler of darts for over 35 years. His columns are celebrated for their wit and insight, often detailing his quest for a game in exotic locales worldwide. His writing offers vibrant commentary on the competitive darts landscape, including players, organizations, tournaments and the sport's unique culture. Dartoid's articles are highly regarded among darts enthusiasts, solidifying his role as a pivotal figure in promoting and documenting darts as both a recreational pastime and professional sport."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6902","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6902"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6902\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6902"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=6902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}