{"id":5585,"date":"2015-05-20T12:08:05","date_gmt":"2015-05-20T12:08:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2015\/05\/column-hr137-even-the-old-dart-coach-has-entered-the-cdc-fantasy-league\/"},"modified":"2024-02-14T22:24:06","modified_gmt":"2024-02-14T22:24:06","slug":"column-hr137-even-the-old-dart-coach-has-entered-the-cdc-fantasy-league","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/2015\/05\/column-hr137-even-the-old-dart-coach-has-entered-the-cdc-fantasy-league\/","title":{"rendered":"Column #HR137 Even the Old Dart Coach has entered the CDC Fantasy League!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wednesday,\u00a0May 20,\u00a02015<\/span><\/span>
\nColumn HR137
\nEven the Old Dart Coach has entered the CDC Fantasy League!<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Old Dart Coach wishes to issue a mea culpa<\/em>, which for darters is not a new coffee at Starbucks. He came under intense pressure from many fair-minded groups for labeling his 2014 Thailand-Thailand tour \u201cLooking for love in all the wrong places.\u201d The NAGS (National Association of Gals), the JAJS (Jill’s Against Jerks) and other groups\u00a0found his words sexist, disgusting, and not conducive to harmony in life.<\/p>\n

What is most misunderstood is that the ODC, still in the running for the 2015 Mother Teresa Award, is doing much good in Land of Smiles. Just two mornings ago, while visiting the coffee shop in the hotel,\u00a0he noticed a female employee holding a very young child.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it yours?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I no have baby, but want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a husband?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a boyfriend?”<\/p>\n

\u201cNo have.\u201d<\/p>\n

The ODC explained that in Thailand not having a boyfriend didn\u2019t seem to be a big problem as men there were like mosquitoes. Swat one away and another ten show up with the same breeding habits.<\/p>\n

The young lady\u2019s plight bothered the ODC for the rest of the day and most of the night. The next morning he queried the young lady again…<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you find a boyfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Remembering the Mother Teresa Award,\u00a0the ODC then made the following offer…<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I can help…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have son?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

While a weaker person might fold like an accordion map, the ODC and his bruised ego survived.<\/p>\n

By far the biggest attack on his ego comes from the Professional Darts Corporation.\u00a0 The ODC has been a supporter of the players since the days of the World Professional Darts Players Association, the forerunner of the PDC.\u00a0 The latest affront to the ODC has been the refusal of the\u00a0PDC to accept his nickname for Michael van Gerwen.<\/p>\n

The ODC has had some\u00a0success with dart nicknames. There\u2019s WB (Dr. Linda Batten), HC (Katie Hopkins), The Duck (David Miller), The Hammer (Rick Ney), JK (John Kramer),\u00a02K or The Splendid Splinter (Kathy Karpowich), Larry \u201cThe Bald Eagle\u201d Butler and Jerry U (Jerry Umberger).<\/p>\n

Sure he tired \u201cMarblehead, “Chrome Dome,\u201d and \u201cEagle Peak\u201d but none of those names fit for van Gerwen. Lately, he has taken to writing of van Gerwen as \u201cMarvelous\u201d Michael van Gerwen.<\/p>\n

The nickname “Marvelous”\u00a0has a storied history in sport. One of the first times it was used was in reference to \u201cMarvelous\u201d Marv Thornberry, one of the players on the original New York Mets. In that case, the term was somewhat derisive. Then came boxer \u201cMarvelous\u201d Marvin Hagler. Was he ever. In 67 fights he won 62, lost three and had two draws. His last fight was a\u00a0 loss to \u201cSugar\u201d Ray Leonard. Hagler\u2019s other two loses came against Willie \u201cThe Worm\u201d Monroe and \u201cBoogaloo\u201d\u00a0Bobby Watts. Heck, take away nicknamed fighters and Hagler was undefeated.<\/p>\n

After his boxing career had ended, by his choice, he went to Italy to make spaghetti westerns and became a big star. He\u2019s 5\u20197\u201d, shaved bald, has a permanent scowl implanted on his face, and looks like a bronze Adonis. Van Gerwen is about same height, has the scowl going and the shaved bald head – but as to looking like a bronze Adonis, well, let’s just say a career in spaghetti westerns is probably not in the cards. So for the ODC, it will continue to be\u00a0\u201cMarvelous\u201d Michael van Gerwen, no matter what the PDC says.<\/p>\n

The ODC isn\u2019t into Fantasy Leagues of any kind – with but one exception. He joined the \u201cGirl of Your Dreams League\u201d\u00a0where you list 20 ladies.\u00a0 If any of those ladies is a member of the \u201cBoy of My Dreams League\u201d there\u2019s a match. She then shows up at your door asking to borrow a cup of sugar.\u00a0 The player is then assigned to take it\u00a0from there. The ODC listed Jennifer Aniston, Selma Hayek, and 18 chicks from the 80s and 90s dart world.\u00a0 (Editor\u2019s note: Any comment about chicks\u00a0 becoming old hens will not be tolerated.)<\/p>\n

He did, however, join the Championship Darts Circuit Fantasy League<\/strong>.\u00a0 The League itself is the brainchild of one David Irete and others. The ODC calls him \u201cDavid Eye Rate\u201d because he thinks it\u2019s funny.\u00a0 Eye Rate is one of the few that has for many<\/em> years put his time, efforts and money into the sport.\u00a0 People that care about darts should hold him in the highest of admiration. Is this a reason to join the Fantasy League. No, but it’s FREE <\/strong>and FREE gets the ODC every time.<\/p>\n

At the end of the multi-weekend tournament, there’re $500 bucks in cold cash for the winner<\/strong>. The first event is May 30th and 31st and dubbed the Weekend in OHIO, which sounds like the second place prize in the Guess What\u2019s Your Name\u201d contest.<\/p>\n

Just go to\u00a0Fantasy League Registration<\/a>, pick your team, and then follow the results (which will be reported after each event at Dartoid’s World. \u00a0Good fun. The deadline for entries is the 25th<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Couple of interesting developments on the American darting scene. The American Team was named to represent the ADO in the World Masters. One of those players, Larry \u201cThe Bald Eagle\u201d Butler, will be representing America in the upcoming PDC World Cup.\u00a0 In the past, the BDO and the World Dart Federation – which are really the same, but different – have barred anyone who has appeared in PDC events from playing in their events. Has that changed? NO EYE DEAR.<\/p>\n

The 2015 WDF World Cup will be played in Turkey on October 26-31. On October 30, qualifying for the ADO American\u2019s Cup Team will be held at the Ghost on the Coast tournament in Myrtle Beach. \u00a0There has been some comment that, because of the timing, members of the World Cup Team, assumed to be the very best, will not be able to qualify for the America\u2019s Cup team. Asked about the conflict, one\u00a0ADO\u00a0source responded with, \u201cIt\u2019s unfortunate, but we have to protect the tournament.\u201d<\/p>\n

That, of course, is bologna.<\/p>\n

Using ADO logic, it\u2019s more important to supply 20 or 30 players for Myrtle Beach, at ADO expense, than to serve the cream of the American darting community.<\/p>\n

The ADO raises arrogance to new heights.<\/p>\n

You can almost hear the ADO collectively saying to the players, as Queen Marie Antoinette said to her peasants: Qu\u2019lis mangent de la brioche<\/em>. When the peasants rose in revolt, the Queen lost her head.<\/p>\n

Could that happen with the ADO?<\/p>\n

Naw.<\/p>\n

The ADO peasants all have \u201cTom Brady Disease.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stay thirsty my friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Old Dart Coach wishes to issue a mea culpa, which for darters is not a new coffee at Starbucks. He came under intense pressure from many fair-minded groups for labeling his 2014 Thailand-Thailand tour \u201cLooking for love in all the wrong places.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4122,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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Old Dart Coach wishes to issue a mea culpa, which for darters is not a new coffee at Starbucks. He came under intense pressure from many fair-minded groups for labeling his 2014 Thailand-Thailand tour \u201cLooking for love in all the wrong places.\u201d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"authors":[{"term_id":17,"user_id":4,"is_guest":0,"slug":"howie-reed","display_name":"Howie Reed","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/111howie.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/111howie.jpg"},"first_name":"Howie","last_name":"Reed","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5585"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6387,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585\/revisions\/6387"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5585"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=5585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}