Thursday, February 20, 2014
\nColumn HR108
\nThe Year of the Follically-challenged<\/b><\/p>\n
As strange as it may seem, the Old Dart Coach found himself taking a guilt trip recently. Anyone familiar with the\u00a0 ODC would think, \u201cLad’s got a lot<\/i> to feel guilty about!\u201d While true, it will shock those familiar with \u201cdahts\u201d in America that the trip came about because Toeing the Oche doesn\u2019t\u00a0 offer enough coverage of the current American darting scene.<\/p>\n
Mostly, these spaces are filled with news of the PDC, memories of past exploits (real or imagined) and the ramblings of a mind whose IQ barely reaches triple digits (okay, almost hits triple digits when rounding high).\u00a0 The reasons for this lack of coverage, besides being taken deep with a\u00a0lazy stick, is lack of handy and timely information.<\/p>\n
The commissioner of the NFL makes $44 million per year. The flak for the PDC makes considerably less,\u00a0 But\u00a0they do share one common trait: they have jobs that pay them to “get the word out.”<\/p>\n
The American Darts Organization (ADO) is staffed by mostly volunteers. They do the best they can when one considers that working with dart players is like herding cats through a Las Vegas Casino on\u00a0Saturday night. A book on their labors for darts might be entitled\u00a0 “The Things We Did For Love,” which just happened to be a song by 10cc.\u00a0 No, you don\u2019t know how they got the name. Trust the ODC.<\/p>\n
Love, like “flowers that bloom in the spring” (tra-la-la) is an integral part of the\u00a0darting scene.\u00a0 Cupid usually fires his first arrow late at night after a long drawn-out blind-draw doubles (which, of course, started late), as the remaining few people share the last of a flickering night into the early morning hours.\u00a0These athletes are finely-tuned\u00a0with a mixture of\u00a0 “aiming\/group tightening fluid” with hormones raging.\u00a0As the last of the golden elixir evaporates amid the cacophonous surroundings… a Stevie Wonder tunes takes over,<\/p>\n
“My Cherie amour, lovely as a summer day.”<\/p>\n
Then enters Billy Joel instructing you to\u00a0\u201cTell Her (or him or whatever) About it.\u201d<\/p>\n
According to extremely robust statistical calculations, 38-40% of the time it\u2019ll end with Jerry Reed singing “She Got the Goldmine and I Got the Shaft.”<\/p>\n
Fade to black with Tommy Edwards singing his baby heart out to \u201cIt\u2019s All in The Game.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes, it\u2019s “I love you honey, but the season’s over.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dahts and love – they\u2019re a mugs game. Regardless, the search for perfection is endless…<\/p>\n
If you happen to be Chinese or have ever eaten at a Panda Express maybe you look to the Chinese calendar for inspiration or the key to the future.\u00a0 But it’s not going to help this year unless you\u2019re a horse. Unicorn\u2019s need not apply.<\/p>\n
There’s a clue out there though, for this year. \u00a0This is the year, so far – drum roll please and maybe a some ruffles and flourishes – of the folliclly-challenged person.\u00a0 In darts this year \u201cbald\u201d is beautiful. In fact it\u2019s “F\u2019ing lovely.”<\/p>\n
Over in the Motha Country where a lifestyle of bad teeth and warm beer hasn’t been able \u00a0recapture the lost\u00a0British Empire, Dutchman\u00a0Michael van Gerwen is tearing up the old pea patch.\u00a0 He\u2019s going through the boys of the “44” – that\u2019s their country code – like a dose of salts thru a seagull. He\u2019s been able to cause a major \u201cpower failure\u201d that may or may not be a sign of things to come. His latest triumph was a win in the Dutch Open over Mervyn King (6-4) worth a nifty\u00a0 \u00a320,000. This was van Gerwen\u2019s first \u201cW\u201d since his New Year\u2019s Day World Championship. So perfect he\u2019s not but \u201cbald\u2019 he is…<\/p>\n
The American Bald Eagle, Larry Butler, is soaring in the early stages of the ADO\/BDO season. ADO\/BDO \u00a0 Some tournaments in the Colonies carry both ADO and BDO ranking points. \u00a0So far, Butler has won the singles at the Ray Chesney Philly Open, the Camellia and the\u00a0Shoot for the Moon event in Huntsville “God Dam” Alabama. Hmm. Three for three. Not to Chablis.<\/p>\n
Butler leads the ADO standings with almost double the points of runner-up Gary Mawson, who\u2019s either a Canadian or Yank depending on where he\u2019s living. Butler\u2019s a no-show when it comes to BDO Invitational or USA BDO Regional Rankings. Jim Widmayer leads the Yanks on both those tables based on his one win last year and his play in two “invitational events”\u00a0in England this year. Not high yet in the rankings is Darren “Big Daddy” Young who just happens to be bald. Wash out.!!!!<\/p>\n
Cali West leads the ADO ladies standings with a narrow lead over Brenda Roush and Paula Murphy a close third. As it seems to be the year of \u201cBald is Beautiful,\u201d these ladies best watch out for Ms. Stacy Bromberg. She\u2019s back in the hunt after a battle with cancer. If you should be walking in the woods and come upon Bromberg in a battle with a bear – you best jump in and help the bear.\u00a0 Stacy got her first come back \u201cW\u201d at the Camellia in the cricket singles when she beat Brenda Roush.<\/p>\n
The ultimate guilt trip is played out when a friend passes on without you telling them how special you think they are…<\/p>\n
Dave Melton wasn\u2019t well known in darting circles. He lived, worked and played in Southern California. \u00a0Dave just simply liked people. He was the most even tempered, kind and gentle person imaginable. Not easy when you\u2019re dealing with dart players, as he did as the second Head Honcho of the Royal Hawaiian. He succeeded founder Mike Enright who set a high standard which Melton equaled.<\/p>\n
Over the years the ODC and Dave had their disagreements. The fault lay with the ODC being the opinionated slovenly-oaf he is.\u00a0 Their disagreements never led to being disagreeable thanks to Melton. He wouldn\u2019t allow it. \u00a0Melton\u2019s presence made a room more alive, a shared cocktail more congenial and a simple “hello” a moment to be treasured.\u00a0 Darn it Lord, you took one of our good ones but isn\u2019t that usually the case?<\/p>\n
Stay thirsty my friend cause we\u2019ll all be joining you at some point.\u00a0 When we do you\u2019re very presence, like always, will make us feel welcome. God Bless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As strange as it may seem, the Old Dart Coach found himself taking a guilt trip recently. Anyone familiar with the ODC would think, \u201cLad’s got a lot to feel guilty about!\u201d 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strange as it may seem, the Old Dart Coach found himself taking a guilt trip recently. Anyone familiar with the ODC would think, \u201cLad's got a lot to feel guilty about!\u201d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"authors":[{"term_id":17,"user_id":4,"is_guest":0,"slug":"howie-reed","display_name":"Howie Reed","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/111howie.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/111howie.jpg"},"first_name":"Howie","last_name":"Reed","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5525"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5525\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6415,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5525\/revisions\/6415"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5525"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=5525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}