Tuesday, October 11, 2011
\nColumn HR57
\nBrendan \u201cCinderfella\u201d Dolan<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cThe report of my death was been greatly exaggerated\u201d was the text of a telegram sent by Mark Twain to the New York Journal after the newspaper reported his death. Twain was in London at the time, probably sharing a few pints, tossing a few darts and musing about his next great story – much like the Old Dart Coach does on his weekly trips to his local, The Sporting Chance, where the serving wench, albeit coquettish, serves ice cold pints of lager with an alacrity that is astounding.<\/p>\n
Just a short time ago the demise of Phil Taylor was trumpeted loud and clear with all the verb and bravado of an Al Hirt solo. \u201cHe\u2019s on the way down.\u201d \u201cHe\u2019s past his prime.\u201d Now? In the words of Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny, \u201cNot so much.\u201d Through the first three legs of the Champion League Darts Taylor had earnings of \u00a35,800, qualified for the finals, went 13-1 in matches and 68-25 in legs won for a plus 45 in legs. Simon Whitlock leads in earnings with \u00a38,100 but has yet to qualify for the finals.<\/p>\n
It was the poet Alfred Lord Tennyson who wrote: \u201cIn the spring a livelier iris changes on the burnish dove. In the spring a young man\u2019s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.\u201d Darters know Tennyson was a poet because unlike Maya Angelou he something rhymes. Plus you know what the heck he\u2019s writing about.<\/p>\n
This is one of the ODC\u2019s favorite sayings with a slight modification: \u201cIn spring a young man\u2019s thoughts turn to what women have been thinking about all winter.\u201d<\/p>\n
For players on the PDC tour the following change should be made to the words of Tennyson and the ODC: \u201cIn the fall a professional darts player turns his thoughts to money. At the same time his lady\u2019s thoughts turn to get the money\u2026 honey.\u201d<\/p>\n
The coming of October is the starting gun for the PDC to \u201cget the money.\u201d It\u2019s crunch time. A player that has been languishing in the back of the pack can take giant steps forward without saying \u201cMotha May I.\u201d<\/p>\n
First stop was the PDC Players Championship in Dublin which was a prelude to the \u00a3350,000 PartyPoker.com Grand Prix. Phil Taylor took Day One of the Players but lost in the finals to Joe Cullen on Day Two. Richie Burnett\u2019s had won in Nuland, Netherlands on September 25 for first win in 10 years which rumor has it is a decade. Burnett\u2019s win got a spot in the World Grand Prix in Dublin. For the two days Taylor banked a cool \u00a39,000 which when added to the \u00a35,800 from league gave him \u00a314,800. Just another week at the office.<\/p>\n
PARTYPOKER.COM GRAND PRIX<\/b><\/p>\n
The first \u201cbiggie\u201d for the lads of the PDC is the \u00a3350,000 PartyPoker.com Grand Prix. Held in Dublin at the New Citywest Center the event matches 32 of the best dart players in the PDC against a double-start format that provides some interesting results. To hear the TV talkers tell it, a \u201cdouble start\u201d is akin to climbing Kilimanjaro in \u201cflip-flops.\u201d Heck, back in the day the ODC didn\u2019t know any other game. It was all 301 double-start.<\/p>\n
Here though it\u2019s especially wild, particularly in the opening rounds where upsets flow like the pitchers of lager that adorn the tables of the playing venue. With a first round\u2019s best-of-three-set format some strange things can, do and did happen. Seeds were falling like a politician\u2019s promises after elected.<\/p>\n
In a pre-taped interview Phil Taylor spoke about the pressures of being a world champion. \u201cAdrian Lewis said to me the other day, \u2018Everyone that plays me seems to play their best.\u2019 I told him, well, you\u2019re the world champion \u2013 you have to expect that. Everyone wants to beat the world champion.\u201d<\/p>\n
That wasn\u2019t the case early on for John Part. Against Lewis, Part lost the first five legs while playing like a rank amateur. On the other hand Lewis, besides having four fingers and a thumb, played well. Part couldn\u2019t get started. At one point he was 8 for 35 from the starting block. One TV talk person commented, \u201cIf this was a boxing match the referee would have stopped this by now.\u201d<\/p>\n
But\u2026 down 1 set to nil and 2-legs to nil something strange happened.<\/p>\n
Playing for the match Lewis failed to capitalize on a 180-140 which gave Part his first leg. When Lewis missed three more for the match, Part converted to level the set. Lewis missed tops again for the match which allowed Part to hit double 16 for the set. With the match suddenly level Lewis seemed to regain some of his form when he opened with 160 on and a double top-double top finish. Part would take the next 3 legs to climax a stunning come back from the brink of defeat. Lewis snatched defeat from the arms of victory.<\/p>\n
For Lewis, his trip to Ireland didn\u2019t go well at all as he lost first round in both Players Championships before crashing out of the Grand Prix, which the ODC\u2019s Pater always pronounced as if it were spelled \u201cCK\u201d at the end.<\/p>\n
There were two other matches listed in the column titled \u201cstunning comebacks.\u201d Phil Taylor almost joined that group but he came back from 1 down to win. The winning darts were delivered in typical Taylor fashion. With the match tied in sets and with Taylor ahead 2-1 in the third and final set, Peter \u201cSnake Bite\u201d Wright was ready to strike. Taylor needed 164. Hmm. Triple 20, triple 18 and dead bull. Game over. That\u2019s one Snake that St. Phil chased out of Ireland. Thank you very much. The ODC emailed a Palette, as she can\u2019t watch darts at work, \u201cTaylor won it with a 164 finish.\u201d Her reply? \u201cWell that\u2019s what he does.\u201d<\/p>\n
The rap on Scot Gary Anderson is that he sometimes fights his head when things don\u2019t go well. Things were going swimmingly when Anderson took the opening set 3-0 against late qualifier Richie Burnett. Many forget or didn\u2019t know that 15 years ago Richie Burnett was World Champion.<\/p>\n
Burnett started the second set by jumping to a 2-nil lead which Anderson would level but then he missed darts at 16 and 8. Burnett converted to take the set. After a 13-darter by Anderson he took 6 to start the next leg \u2013 and that went to Burnett. Burnett used a 180 to take the next leg and move just one step from victory. Anderson needed 161 and darn near got it missing only the finishing bull. A double 10 put Burnett in the next round and sent the \u201cFlying Scot\u201d flying home.<\/p>\n
ROUND TWO<\/b><\/p>\n
How does one become a pal of the ODC with all the duties and responsibilities that the title carries with it? Not easy to answer but two joined the group during the Grand Prix. Neither knows nor probably give a rat\u2019s posterior.<\/p>\n
Defending Champion James Wade came from the brink of elimination as he was 2 sets down in the race to 3 against Vincent van der Voort. In his post match interview he said, \u201cWe always go to Nando\u2019s after every game.\u201d That was it for the ODC. Next to Miller Genuine and a cigar the ODC loves Nando\u2019s chicken. Really spicy.<\/p>\n
First time the ODC tasted Nando\u2019s chicken he was staying in Earl\u2019s Court for the World Masters. Following a night of many pints at the Cock\u2019s Inn he stopped by Nando\u2019s and ordered the \u201cspicy.\u201d The Underground took the ODC back to his rented hovel called the Blue Moon. (\u201cSmall Bed \u2013 No Breakfast\u201d) Like starving Armenians, they were big during WWII. He devoured the savory meal. Awakening the next morning he had his usual yawn and a really good man scratch. Nando\u2019s spicy should come with a warning. \u201cMen\u2026 if eaten at night don\u2019t man scratch in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
Andy \u201cThe Pie Man\u201d Smith also joined the ODC Pal Bunch. Now it could have been for his 3-1 win over 5-time World Champion Raymond van Barneveld who appeared to be disinterested as he sometimes does. Smith joined the \u201cODC Pal Bunch\u201d when the Old One realized his walk on music was Weird Al Yankovic singing \u201cEat It\u201d which Michael Jackson sang as \u201cBeat It.\u201d \u201cThe Pie Man\u201d and \u201cEat It\u201d \u2013 Right on!<\/p>\n
Writing of which the ODC was enjoying pints of lager at his local, The Sporting Chance, served by the mixologist with the flashing eyes and bouncing bodacious personality, when a rather drunk young man with his hat on sidewise and a tall can of Bud Ice clutched in his hand staggered in. That would be the 24 oz. NBA size. He sat two seats away from the ODC who was deep in musing about which at least one female off duty bartender considered starring. She should be so lucky. When confronted by said person he answered \u201cIn your dreams.\u201d The ODC lives in his own world.<\/p>\n
\u201cChief, what do you think of Michael Jackson?\u201d<\/p>\n
As he was musing the ODC ignored the comment. The young man with the sidewise hat and big beer, figuring that the ODC\u2019s hearing was gone, asked the question again even louder.<\/p>\n
\u201cWHAT DO YOU THINK OF MICHAEL JACKSON?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNO, what do you think of Michael Jackson?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was a pedophile.\u201d End of conversation.<\/p>\n
With Smith and Wade facing off in the next round the ODC would strike a neutral pose. Wes Newton went through the first round in great form. His play nudged some of the wise guys to tout him making the finals. Big John Henderson \u2013 he\u2019s called that because he\u2019s big (terribly clever those Brits) \u2013 jumped to an early 2-0 lead against Newton only to find himself tied. With the match level Henderson had a 2 legs to nil lead when he missed a double 16 allowing Newton to keep the match alive. Newton then needed 7 darts to start which was a head start Smith would develop into double tops for the win.<\/p>\n
Northern Ireland’s Brendan Dolan had his way with John Part 3-1.<\/p>\n
This would be a good time to toss some kudos to Eric Bristow. As most know, Sid Waddell is out of action for the time being battling cancer. With a TV void Eric Bristow was called into action. He was GREAT. Unlike many he didn\u2019t babble, filling the viewer with useless information \u2013 such as a player likes \u201cbeacon sandwiches with A-1\u201d or what their favorite movie is.<\/p>\n
Bristow: \u201cPeople like to watch to see the pros miss darts. It\u2019s proves they\u2019re human.\u201d<\/p>\n
Simon Whitlock proved that when he went down 3-1 to 80-1 shot Mark Hylton. Level at 1 set Hylton used 160 on-57-280-80 and done for a 2 to 1 lead. Hylton\u2019s winning leg came when Whitlock was left with 6. Rather than go after the double 3 he tried the old 2-double 2. Whoops, hit the 15 giving Hylton a shot at double tops which he erased with one. \u201cNever take a shot that eliminates a double.\u201d<\/p>\n
The highlight of this round was Phil Taylor against Paul Nicholson. Por Que? Quote the self-proclaimed Bad Boy, \u201cWhen he plays me he better bring his \u201cA\u201d game or I\u2019ll put him to bed.\u201d Taylor answered with \u201cWhen he\u2019s won 10 World Championships then he can open his mouth.\u201d Eric Bristow on Nicholson, \u201cHe\u2019s a nobody. He\u2019s taking on the man.\u201d Following the 3-0 drubbing Nicholson had a body part that closely resembled a Hamadryad Baboon. Nicholson\u2019s mouth wrote a check his butt couldn\u2019t cash. Nicholson said he would spin Taylor up. So he sat on stage cross-legged, aka Zen-like, during the introductions. Asked if it that bothered him, Taylor said, \u201cNo. I didn\u2019t see it. He was going to spin me up? I\u2019ve had Lowe, Gregory, Bristow, Wilson and Whitcomb try. They were the best and that didn\u2019t bother me.\u201d He did admit that Bristow got to him but then, hell, Bristow got to everyone especially those that didn\u2019t have to play him. Taylor took the first set 3-1 with a Shanghai out which for you electronic darters is 120. Taylor took the next two sets with \u201cRE\u201d (ridiculous ease) yielding only two legs.<\/p>\n
Denis \u201cThe Heat\u201d Ovens\u2019 run ended when Richie Burnett moved on with a 3-1 win. Rod Harrington, doing the TV chatting, kept making references to the fact that Ovens doesn\u2019t smile. Not. Every time the ODC buys him a beer he smiles. So that means he\u2019s smiled at least 4 times in 25 years.<\/p>\n
8 to 4<\/b><\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know why they call it the quarter finals? Does that mean you win a quarter of the finals\u2019 check? Of course not. If you win you still haven\u2019t won anything \u2013 you\u2019re just assured of a bigger payday. I always have to think how many is there in a quarter finals? Isn\u2019t 8 to 4 half? Why don\u2019t they call it the half finals? No wonder Andy Rooney retired from CBS.<\/p>\n
The scores from the quarter final matches of the Grand Prix were 4-1, 4-2, 4-0 and 4-2.<\/p>\n
\u201cBig\u201d John Henderson had one of the better \u201cwalk through the crowd deals\u201d that started with Big Bad John (Jimmy Dean) and then cleverly segued into Rockin\u2019All Over The World by John Fogerty who was an original member of Credence Clearwater Revival along with the ODC\u2019s college pal Stu Cook. At that time CCR were called the Pollywogs when they played at the Friday afternoon beer bust at the old frat house. John Henderson was rockin\u2019, taking the first set 3-0. Then Brendan Dolan returned the favor (3-0) and took the next three by 3-2 scores for the win. It was a by far the best match of the night.<\/p>\n
Facing Northern Ireland\u2019s Dolan will be the reigning champ James Wade whose 4-2 win over Andy \u201cThe Pie Man\u201d Smith sets one semi-final. Sometimes the final score isn\u2019t a real indicator of the match. That was the case here as Wade jumped ahead with scores of 3-1 and 3-0 with The Pie Man leveling with sets of 3-1 and 3-1. Wade got the last two by scores of 3-2. Wade is always candid in post match interviews. “I’m moving along under the radar \u2013 people like to talk about the Phil Taylors, the Adrian Lewises and Gary Andersons and I’m just going about my business. My starting has been brilliant but I’ve a bit of work to do with my finishing if I’m going to go all the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other semi final was set up when both Phil Taylor and Richie Burnett cruised. Taylor by a 4-nil (3-0, 3-2, 3-0, 3-1) whitewashing of Mark Webster and Burnett over Mark Hylton 4-1 with sets of 3-2, 2-3, 3-1, 3-0, 3-1.<\/p>\n
CINDERFELLA?<\/b><\/p>\n
There were two potential \u201cCinderfellas\u201d in this year\u2019s Grand Prix. Late qualifier Richie Burnett and Brendan Dolan both qualified for the title. Neither was expected to reach the second round led alone the semi-finals. Maybe this would be the round where the clock would strike 12. Well it did for Richie Burnett as he had to face Phil Taylor losing 5-2. Taylor accentuated his dominance in this one with a 164-check to win the match.<\/p>\n
The night though would belong to Brendan Dolan who, when the clock struck midnight, found the shoe still fit. The 38-year-old from Northern Ireland, although he plays his darts in the Republic, didn\u2019t have to ride anywhere in a pumpkin. He eliminated the reigning Grand Prix champion and world #3 James Wade 5-2. Dolan would lose the first set 3-1 showing the nerves that can only come from a major TV event. He righted the ship in spectacular fashion in the second set.<\/p>\n
Dolan opened the first leg of the second set with a 160-on. Then came a 180 and a 161 finish for the first-ever nine-darter in the double-start tournament \u2013 earning him a \u00a35,000 bonus. That set off Dolan winning four sets in the race to five. James Wade was a bystander with his \u201cbemused\u201d James Wade smile that said, \u201cOh heck\u201d or words to that effect.<\/p>\n
THE GRAND FINAL<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cGreatness or pre-eminence is a concept heavily dependent on a person\u2019s perspective and bias. The term can be used to emphasize perceived superiority of a person or thing.\u201d The genesis of this writing comes from John the Baptist as he was speaking about God. It is with no hesitation that the ODC writes the same about one Philip Douglas Taylor. \u201cIn the presence of \u201d is what an overflow crowd of well lubricated Irishman at the New Citywest Convention Center was. They had come to cheer local favorite Brendan Dolan as they should have. In true \u201cwell lubricated Irishman fashion\u201d they also felt inclined to boo Taylor at ever chance. They must be the Philadelphia of Europe. Philadelphia once booed Santa during the Christmas Season.<\/p>\n
The Irish and Ireland were explained in Sunday\u2019s HBO series \u201cBoardwalk Empire.\u201d Irish born Margaret Schroeder, the main squeeze of principle character \u201cNucky\u201d Thompson asked her maid:<\/p>\n
\u201cWere you born in Ireland dear?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Miss, I was born here in the United States.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood, if you would have been born in Ireland you would have left.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maybe those that left Ireland landed in Philadelphia, at least the well lubricated ones. It was not necessary to be full of \u201caiming fluid\u201d to \u201chave a go\u201d during the Taylor 6-3 win over Brendan Dolan. TV announcers constantly \u201cinformed\u201d the viewers that \u201cTaylor\u2019s not on his game. The old Taylor would have hit that.\u201d That is pure unadulterated bologna. He\u2019s played in the finals of 67 major events winning 63 and losing only four. His loses came at the hands of all-time greats and Hall of Fame members Rod Harrington, Bob Anderson, Raymond van Barneveld and John Part. In darts there are no style points as a \u201cwin is a win\u201d except when you get a \u201cyakking\u201d job on TV.<\/p>\n
Brendan Dolan played well with moments that brought the crowd to full roar. His 170 check was one of those moments. Early on Dolan had two chances to level the match only to fall by 3-2 scores. \u201cTaylor’s dominance of the double-start tournament continued as he won back the \u00a3100,000 title in style to claim his third successive major, as he followed up the summer’s triumphs in the World Matchplay and European Championship.\u201d<\/p>\n
The clock would strike midnight and Brendan Dolan would still be the \u201cCinderfella\u201d of the Grand Prix. The shoe might not fit but with \u00a355,000 he can buy his own shoes thank you.<\/p>\n
If \u201cIn the fall a professional darts player turns his thoughts to money,\u201d then Dolan turned dreams into reality. Phil Taylor can opine, \u201cThe report of my death was been greatly exaggerated.\u201d<\/p>\n
DOUBLE OUT<\/b><\/p>\n
No \u201cTales of the ODC\u201d this time. Instead is the news flash that the ODC has withdrawn his rather stylist fedora from the presidential primary. He had vowed that he would take no money from special interests. As such he had no money, no support and no hope.<\/p>\n
Another in a similar situation but who stayed in, although hardly anyone knows, is former Governor of Louisiana Buddy Roemer. A little known fact is that he\u2019s the former Uncle-in-Law of former International dart star Keith Waddoups. Waddoups, pronounced \u201cWha Doops,\u201d once visited the Rancho de Martinez.<\/p>\n
The first day he trimmed the brushes around the house, vacuumed the house and then walked two miles to buy groceries. He was invited back to finish scraping the paint from the garage door. This was a project started by The Hawk from the Blue Lagoon who babysat the Rancho while the ODC was away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was going to repaint your garage door and surprise you when you got home. I got tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo problem,\u201d replied the ODC, \u201cYou surprised me.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cThe report of my death was been greatly exaggerated\u201d was the text of a telegram sent by Mark Twain to the New York Journal after the newspaper reported his death. Twain was in London at the time, probably sharing a few pints, tossing a few darts and musing about his next great story – much like the Old Dart Coach does on his weekly trips to his local, The Sporting Chance, where the serving wench, albeit coquettish, serves ice cold pints of lager with an alacrity that is 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report of my death was been greatly exaggerated\u201d was the text of a telegram sent by Mark Twain to the New York Journal after the newspaper reported his death. Twain was in London at the time, probably sharing a few pints, tossing a few darts and musing about his next great story - much…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"authors":[{"term_id":17,"user_id":4,"is_guest":0,"slug":"howie-reed","display_name":"Howie Reed","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/111howie.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/111howie.jpg"},"first_name":"Howie","last_name":"Reed","user_url":"http:\/\/www.dartoidsworld.com","job_title":"","description":"Astute, often controversial, and always humorous, the Old Dart Coach, Howie Reed (a former rodeo cowboy and advertising executive), is heralded as the Dean of Darts Chroniclers - the most prolific and widely followed writer ever about our sport. He goes back decades with the legends and knows where the skeletons are buried (just ask any of the ADO and WDF old-timers!). Here are four well-known facts about the Old Dart Coach: 1) he is a Republican, 2) he loves the ladies, 3) he can drink most anybody under the table, and 4) he throws darts as bad as Dartoid."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5428"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6466,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5428\/revisions\/6466"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4134"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5428"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dartoidsworld.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=5428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}